


Nothing Comes as Easy as You

by Fangirl4life



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, abusive relationships (not between Pete and Patrick)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-04-20 09:59:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 44,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4783172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl4life/pseuds/Fangirl4life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick is a freshman studying music in college. Pete is a well-known musician and college dropout. They couldn't be more different but they also might just make it work between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Somebody to Love

Patrick Stump was startled out of his thoughts when the alarm on his phone went off, a loud beeping blaring through the dorm room.

"Patrick, turn that off!" Shouted Patrick's roommate, Joe Trohman, as he was startled awake.

"But we have class," Patrick stated as he pulled a black hoodie over his red v-neck.

"You're never going to make friends like that." Joe said groggily.

"Yeah well maybe I don't want to."

"Have you even had sex yet?"

Patrick hated these conversations "I haven't found the right person."

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Patrick put on his shoes and realized it was raining, that mixed with the characteristic Chicago wind was making today look more and more miserable. The fact that he had waken up at four in the morning and not been able to go back to sleep definitely didn't help with that.

"Well yeah but... I just haven't, okay?"

Before Joe could ask anymore questions Patrick stepped out into the cold air. A car horn beeped from a few hundred feet away and he could see his girlfriend of a few month's car in the parking lot. Patrick usually walked to class seeing as he didn't have a car but on particularly bad weather days, she always picked him up. Actually, she spent most of her time with him, it got a little annoying.

"Hi, Ava," he said as he got into the passenger seat of her car.

Her black hair was falling over her shoulders and her pale skin damp with rain.

"Hey, Pat, how's your morning?"

"Decent, Joe is being Joe." He said with a slight smile.

She looked at him sternly as she started driving "I don't like Joe."

"He's alright."

"But we're dating, if I like someone then you do too and if I don't then you don't either."

"But-" Patrick cut himself off, knowing that she didn't like to be argued with "okay, that makes sense, sorry."

"I'm just glad that you're such a good boyfriend." She reached over and took his hand. "Don't ever leave me."

He was always told that saying something like that was manipulative but it was Ava, she was so nice, she'd never try to hurt him.

"I won't, I promise."

"I know you won't, sweetheart, I'll pick you up after class, okay?"

Patrick grabbed his bag as she parked in front of one of the many school buildings.

"You really don't have to do that,"

"I know, but that's what you do for the people you love."

"Alright, I'll see you then." He smiled at her one last time and got back out of the car, the rain drenching through his clothes. He pulled his hood over his burnt orange hair more so to hide his face than to stay dry, no amount of fabric could do that in this weather.

 

He pushed open the door to the Music Center where all his classes were. The cold AC air chilled him to the bone and the fact that he had skipped breakfast didn't help. He kept his eyes trained on the tile floor as he walked to the first class. Fortunately the hallway was pretty empty. Most people didn't opt to take music theory at eight in the morning.

When he opened the door to the classroom there were only a few students there. He took his usual seat in the back of the class, not because he didn't care, just because he tried not to be noticed by anyone.

The other students filed in within the next few minutes and the teacher pulled that day's lesson up on the SMART board. Patrick watched as everyone else met up with their friends and talked about their weekends; all the people they'd hung out with parties they'd been to, people they'd hooked up with. He never cared for that sort of thing, he far preferred to spend his time filling journals with pages of sheet music. Odd, he could write a song from almost any instrument but when it came to lyrics he had nothing; and bass, he never could master bass.

"Stop talking." The teacher's voice called from the front of the room "today we're going to be learning about dotted values."

Patrick rolled his eyes and looked back at his journal; this was elementary. A dotted value made a note play for half its original duration, yada yada yada.

 

He spent the rest of class filling another journal page with lines of piano notes. Finally once the other students understood the lecture about the one of the simplest concepts of reading music, the notes were closed and board shut off. Patrick expected for the class to be let out now like usual but instead the teacher kept talking.

"Please remember that we're going to have a very special guest speaker in two weeks from now, I think some of you might know of him."

Patrick only made out a few snatches of conversation and they didn't provide him with much.

"You don't think-"  
"No way, not after what happened with-"  
"Oh my god, you're right they'd never-"  
"But he is really good-"  
"And really hot-"  
"I know right! Like, hot damn! I'd let him-"  
"Stacy, shut the hell up!"

The bell ring before he could hear the rest of the girl's conversation about the latest cliché heart-throb and how good he must be in bed.

It was still raining when the class ended but not not nearly as bad. Ava's car was already parked outside when Patrick walked back into the rain.

"How was class?" She asked "boring, everything's so easy."

"Well maybe if you spent your time being with people instead of cooped up in your room playing piano you would be normal."

Patrick looked out the window. She was right, he wasn't normal, he was a freak.

"Sorry, I'll do better..."

"Good," she perked up again and kissed his cheek "now let's go get some lunch, I'm starving."

 

 

Ava sat down with her friends in the cafeteria and practically dragged Patrick along with her. He saw Joe sitting on the other side of the cafeteria and gave him an apologetic look. He had promised to sit with his roommate that day but he couldn't argue with Ava.

He sat in silence and listened to the girls talk. There was a new girl at the table who didn't seem to quite fit in. Her and Patrick locked eyes for a second and she smiled shyly. He smiled back and raised his hand in a kind of wave. The second he did Ava swatted the back of his head. It wasn't hard enough to hurt but stung slightly.

"Stop flirting with her!"

"I wasn't I just-"

"And now you're arguing with me?"

"Sorry. I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Damn right you were. Now what were you saying Nora?"

A blonde girl across from her that Patrick had seen before in music theory answered "well Mr. Labay was saying how in two weeks were going to have a guest speaker who knows the music business, he was hinting earlier that he's pretty popular. A lot of people are saying that it might be that guy we saw in the bar the other day, what was he name again?"

"Paul or something like that," another girl chimed in "do you remember, Ava?"

She shrugged and took another bite of her salad "who cares? I bet he has a huge dick."

Patrick but his lip nervously and drummed his fingers on the table.

"But don't you have a boyfriend?" The new girl asked softly.

"So? It's not like I'm getting any action from him anyway."

 

 

The rest of lunch was uneventful. Ava left to go take a smoke break and most of her friends followed, leaving Patrick with the new girl.

"I'm Chloe." She said after a few seconds. Patrick looked up, a little confused "um, hi. I'm Patrick."

"Why do you let her treat you like that?"

"Like what?"

"Act like you don't even exist. She's kind of a bitch."

Patrick shrugged "She's fine, it's not her fault. I don't know how to the the whole relationship thing and she's just helping me."

"But you don't do anything wrong,"

Before Patrick could say anything his phone lit up with a text.

**Ava: we're going to head over to Lisa's house, walk yourself home.**

Patrick sighed and stood to leave. Chloe looked at him curiously "going somewhere?"

"I need to get back to my place, I have a class in an hour."

"It takes you that long to get back?"

He picked up his bag and zipped his hoodie back up.

"Yeah, my dorm is all the way on the other side of campus, it was nice talking to you."

She started to gather her stuff as well "let me drive you, it's still raining out and that's a long walk."

He shook his head an looked out at the rain outside "it's not that bad, and Ava doesn't want me hanging out with people when she's not around or hasn't said its okay."

She was about to say something else but Patrick had already left.

 

 

"Dude, did you, like, go swimming?" Joe asked when Patrick walked back into their dorm, soaking wet from the rain "I just walked home."

"You look like you're gonna freeze to death, take a break."

"I have class, so do you for that matter."

Joe stood up and the cocky grin faded from his face "we can skip for today, it's a work day so we can always make it up tonight."

He had a point, it wasn't like there was anything they would do there that they couldn't just do here.

"Go take a hot shower and change into dry clothes, then we can watch a movie or something."

Patrick nodded "thanks, that sounds good."

"You deserve some time off anyway."

"I guess so but... Whatever, I'll see you in a few minutes."

He grabbed a change of clothes from his dresser and walked into the bathroom. He and Joe were lucky to have one of the nice dorm rooms with a -never used- kitchen and a bathroom. Joe called after him just before he closed the door "if you jerk off make sure to clean up!"

Patrick scoffed and rolled his eyes "fuck off, I'm not you!"

"I love you!"

"Love you too,"

He chuckled and turned on the shower as hot as it would go, he was freezing, and pulled off his drenched clothes. The water felt amazing once he stepped in, steam rising around him. He leaned back against the cool wall and closed his eyes, he really needed this time to relax. Between class, Ava, and out-of-class music; Patrick's schedule was packed. The hot water turned his pale skin a slightly pink tinge and he realized he's been there long enough for his fingers to start pruning. He sighed and let himself stay there a few more minutes before eventually stepping out into the cold air. He toweled off his hair and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and an old jumper with the words "SOCIAL REJECT" written in big block letters on the back.

Joe was already on the couch going through the TV channels when Patrick walked back out. He looked over the ginger's fashion choices and chuckled "and now I remember why I'm your only friend."

Joe hade never called Patrick a "friend" before. No one really had actually. Patrick sat down beside him and smiled. Joe smiled back and leaned against Patrick "I miss your smile."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, um, recently you just seem... Different."

"I just matured is all."

It was obvious Joe didn't accept that excuse but didn't say anything.

Neither said anything for a while but Patrick eventually broke the comfortable silence "are we really friends?"

"Of course we are, Stumpy!"

Patrick rolled his eyes and smiled, he'd never had a real friend before. At the end of the day he did really like Joe, he was a bit of an ass but he also genuinely cared about him, that was more than most people did.

"Want to go out for diner tonight?" Joe asked.

"I have plans with Ava, I'm sorry,"

"It's fine,"

There was a hint of bitterness in his voice but if there was anything bothering him, he didn't say it.

"Do you and Ava not get along?"

Joe hesitated, thinking through what to say "I'm just not sure if you two are good together... But I don't know, I don't know what I'm talking about."

"You don't, I love her and she loves me, that's all that matters."

"But... You're right, I'm sorry."

"You should be, Ava's amazing."

Joe nodded and put his head on Patrick's shoulder "I'm glad you're happy."

"I am,"

"One more thing, I ended up getting tickets to the Panic! at the Disco concert next month. Want to go?"

Patrick perked up "yes!" He realized he didn't want to sound as excited as he felt or sound too demanding "I mean, if you really want to bring me I'd love that! Thank you!"

Joe grinned and hugged his friend "obviously I want you to come! This is going to be fucking awesome!"

"It will be, I just have to check with Ava that it's okay."

 

 

"When is it?" Ava's honeyed voice said through the phone "five weeks, can I please go? Please, this would mean a lot to me."

"We'll see, I just don't know, concerts can be bad places. Alcohol, strippers, stuff like that; we'll talk. Maybe if I go with you then-"

"But Joe only has two tickets and-"

"Patrick, what have I said about interrupting me?"

Patrick swallowed nervously "oh, I'm sorry, go on."

"Good boy, now I was saying how maybe if I go with you instead of Joe then it would be okay. But we'll talk about it later.

"Okay, I understand."

"You're so perfect when you aren't trying to argue with me. Are we still on for tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll talk to you then?"

"Okay, babe, see you soon."

She hung up and Joe pursed his lips "you don't have to listen to her you know."

"But I do, she's my girlfriend, I don't want her to think I don't care or something."

"I know just... I think you should go even if she says no."

"Maybe, we'll see." Patrick stood up and stretched "I should probably get changed into nicer clothes before I go."

"Yeah, makes sense. What time will you be back?"

"Not much later then nine, she's going to a party after that."

"Wait, Ched's party?"

"I think so, why?"

He exhaled in a way that showed that something was annoying him.

"That's a really bad crowd. Drugs, strippers, sex; it kind of worries me that you would go out with someone like that."

"I'm sure it's nothing, she wouldn't lie to me."

Joe might have said some something more but Patrick had already disappeared back into the bathroom to change.

 

 

"So I talked to Joe..." Patrick said over diner.

"About?" He looked at Ava who sat across from him, their fingers interlaced on the table.

"He said that the party you're going to is not a good kind, if you know what I mean."

She smiled reassuringly "don't worry, that's not true. I wouldn't do something like that."

He nodded in acknowledgement but something still felt wrong to him. "So Joe was lying?"

She leaned over the table and kissed his forehead "yes, honey, he was lying. Don't worry."

He didn't know why Joe would lie to him but he made a silent note to ask him when he got home.

"But why would Joe lie about-"

"Patrick," she said sternly "stop this. Don't you believe me? Don't you trust me?"

Guilt hit him hard and he looked down at the table. "I'm sorry, I do trust you."

"Thank you, dear, I'm glad you do."

He sighed softly and looked out the window into the twilight night. "Something bothering you?" Ava asked.

He shook his head, he was thinking about how Joe had said they weren't a good couple, but he wouldn't risk making her angry.

"No, I'm only thinking."

"What about?"

"Just... Just how lucky I am to have you."

She smiled and stroked his palm "I'm lucky to have you too, you're the only person who really cares about me. I don't know what I'd do with out you. You won't leave me, will you?"

Patrick shook his head and looked at her "never, I'll always be yours."

"And only mine? You'll never find anyone else?"

"You're the only girl I want, Ava."

"You're perfect, well, almost perfect. Sometimes you still fuck things up but you're getting better. Just remember to listen to me and you'll get it."

Patrick remained silent and watched the cars as they passed by. She checked her phone and stood.

"I should get going, I assume you'll pay?"

Despite that it was phrased as a question, "no" was not an option.

"Of course, but aren't you driving me home?"

"Call Joe or something, I don't know, it's not my problem."

She left without saying anything else, Patrick sighed and pulled out his phone to text Joe.

 

 

Patrick was sitting on a bench outside the restaurant, kicking a pebble back and forth between his feet when Joe pulled up. The dark haired man rolled down his window and shouted "I thought Ava was driving you home, what happened?"

Patrick just sighed and got into the passenger seat. Joe reached over and put his hand on his friend's shoulder "what happened, Pat?"

"I shouldn't feel like this. I shouldn't feel hurt. But I do, Joe, I do."

"So being around her makes you feel bad?"

Patrick but his lip and nodded slowly. "I shouldn't, she's my girlfriend, I'm supposed to be happy."

"I think... I think you should do what makes you happy,"

"But being around her hurts, but being alone hurts more."

"You aren't alone, you have people who are here for you."

Patrick looked at him with sad eyes "I know that you're my friend but... It's not the same thing..."

"Maybe I'm not your girlfriend but I am your friend, and as your friend I think that you should talk to her about it."

"Okay... Okay I will."

Patrick doubted he would. She got mad if he brought up that there was a problem. If she didn't think it was a problem then it didn't matter because only Patrick was bothered by it.

Joe started driving but kept his hand on Patrick's shoulder "let's get back home and get your mind off it."

 

 

"You're playing that wrong." Patrick stated as Joe played guitar on his bed.

"What?"

"The song is played with a capo on the first fret, you have it on the second, the pitch is too high."

Joe shrugged and changed the pitch of the guitar "oh, you're right, thanks."

Patrick nodded and returned to the keyboard in front of him.

"You should write lyrics, it would help your songs out a lot."

Patrick didn't stop playing but looked up at Joe "I can't write lyrics, I've tried."

"Have you tried asking someone to help you? I used to have a girlfriend who wrote poetry that I put to music."

Patrick stopped playing and laid back on his bed "I am _not_ dating anyone who writes poetry. Even it could be lyrics."

"But isn't that all lyrics are?"

"And that's exactly why I think lyrics are stupid. If you need words to portray the emotion of a song then it's not very good songwriting anyway."

Joe just shrugged and went back to playing, now in the correct key. Patrick closed his eyes and listened to the soft acoustic music ringing through their apartment. It was almost midnight by the time Joe put down his guitar.

"Goodnight, Patrick," Joe said softly as he laid down.

"'Night, Joe."

He thought back to what he felt before he met Ava. He was pretty much dead. He weighed in at only ninety-five pounds, almost thirty pounds below the normal. His wrists and ankles were covered in cuts and his spirt was as good as broken. Joe had been the first one to really help him but Ava said he didn't do as much as her, she was probably right, he had just been desperate to think someone cared.

 

* * *

 

 

"So how are you feeling?"

"If by that you mean am I going to try to kill myself again, the answer is no."

The therapist tapped her pen annoyedly against the her clipboard.

"That's not what I asked, Pete."

"But it's what you meant." Pete Wentz said flatly, his eyes following an ant that was making it's way up the the windowsill.

"No it isn't, I care about you. I want to know how you're doing."

Pete laughed coldly "oh please, it's your job."

"So I hear music is going well."

"Very good job changing the subject, I'm impressed."

She sighed exasperatedly "I'm only trying to help you."

He looked back at her "I don't need help, it was stupid to try to kill myself and it won't happen again. Can't I just go?"

"No, Pete, you can't, I'm sorry."

"No you aren't."

Most of Pete's therapy sessions were like this and probably did him no good. It had been six months since he swallowed a bottle of pills and no one would let it go. He made a mistake, he understood that, but yet every time he didn't seem to be one hundred percent happy people assumed he was going to jump off a bridge.

"What do you have planned for the next while?"

"Well I'm going to a concert so yeah."

"See? You can open up to me."

Pete rolled his eyes "such open, very share." He chuckled softly at his own usage of a meme.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"And how has your day been?"

Pete sighed and put his feet up onto the coffee table "my manager is pissed at me but whatever."

"And why is that?" She leaned forward, obviously pleased that he was talking.

"I had sex with a guy after a show last week and the press found out."

She furrowed her eyebrows "I thought you were attracted to girls? Are you questioning your sexuality?"

"I am attracted to girls."

"But then-"

Pete cut her off "it's called bisexuality, look it up."

She only nodded in response and Pete tensed his jaw in annoyance. He fucking hated people who didn't accept bisexuality. It wasn't being greedy, it wasn't needing to pick a side; it was a legitimate sexuality as much as straight or gay are.

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Him being and at me? Annoyed, I guess."

She scribbled something down on the clipboard and Pete sighed.

"And what do you want to do?"

"Nothing really, he can be as pissed as he wants but I'm not going to stop dating guys."

"So you don't feel like what you feel is wrong because that's what others think?"

Pete wanted to throw the couch at her but decided he didn't need any more time in therapy.

"No." He said calmly "I'm not bothered by their opinions. If someone is ignorant enough to think that then their opinions don't matter anyway."

"That's a good state of mind, if you keep thinking like that we might switch your sessions to just once a week."

What an accomplishment.

"I see you dyed your hair, there a reason for that?"

Pete looked up, as if trying to see his now bleach-blonde hair.

"I was bored."

"What else do you do when you're bored?"

Before Pete said anything, an assistant poked her head through the door.

"Dr Price? Time's up. You're next patient is here."

Patient. He wasn't sick, he didn't need to be fixed.

 

Pete stood and slipped out through the door before anyone had a chance to stop him. He walked briskly through the over-happily decorated lobby and outside. The air was starting to cool down, soon the rain that currently fell would be replaced by snow.

He sighed and got into his car. He watched people bustle through the crowded streets to get to who-knows-where for a while before finally starting the car. He turned on the radio and turned it up loud enough that the rest of the world got tuned out by the sounds of Self Esteem by The Offspring playing through the speakers. The rain made driving the busy Chicago streets in rush hour even more frustrating and Pete was seriously considering just leaving his car in the bumper-to-bumper traffic and grabbing Starbucks but he was pretty sure that was illegal.

By the time traffic started to move again it was late morning, too late to get breakfast anywhere. He sighed and pulled up to his apartment complex. The rain was only getting harder and it showed no signs of lightening any time soon so Pete stepped out of his car and into the freezing downpour. The the sound of the rain could still be heard inside, it sent a warm, calming feeling through the building.

"Wentz!" Andy Hurley, an old friend -and now neighbor- of his shouted from one of the couches in the lobby.

"Can I help you?" He said with a touch of annoyance in his tone, pushing his soaked hair off his forehead.

Andy's expression changed to that of concern "someone mad at their therapist?"

Pete rolled his eyes "shut up, you and I both know why I hate therapy."

Andy sighed and put his hands on the other man's shoulders "I know, but suffer through it, it's a required thing unless you want to be back in a hospital."

Pete shivered at the memories of IVs, doctors, and hospital coffee.

"Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

Andy chuckled and put his arm around Pete's shoulders, walking with him up the stairs.

"Okay but really, did you need anything?" Pete asked, looked at his friend.

"Oh, yeah, I did. How do you deal with paparazzi?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow "paparazzi? I thought I was the famous one. Are you secretly a porn star or something?"

Andy elbowed his ribs "shut up, no. They're bothering me about you."

"Still freaking out about that guy last week?"

"Mhm, I don't know how you put up with it."

Pete sighed and unlocked the door of his apartment "me neither, want to come in for a drink?"

"Dude, it's like eleven."

Pete smirked and pulled Andy inside with him "don't be so boring, come on."

Andy sighed and sat down on the couch "I'll be your sober buddy who tells you all the stupid things you did."

Pete shrugged and pulled a bottle of whiskey down from the cupboard "your loss. Think I could make out with the new kid working the front desk without someone complaining to management?"

Andy looked back at Pete, not at all surprised by his question, this was pretty normal for Pete "probably, so long as he's legal."

Pete grinned and put the bottle down and rushed out the door to go scare off the apartment's new employee.

"Slut!" Andy called after him with a grin and stood to go watch the train wreck that was about to happen.

"I know!" Pete's voice called back from the stairs. Andy sighed and watched his friend flirt playfully with the man at the desk, who looked terrified. Pete did his best to seem perfectly fine with being single but Andy knew deep down he really needed someone. Sexually, Pete was doing far better than most people but his last relationship had been over a year ago.

 

Pete trotted back over to Andy "he was straight, let's file a complaint."

Andy chuckled "you can't file a complaint because someone isn't into you, Pete, that's not how it works."

"Well it should be, he was cute." Andy grinned and ruffled his hair "you're a dork."

"Nah, I'm a fucking rock god."

Andy stopped at his apartment "you're a dorky rock god then." He unlocked his door and looked at Pete seriously "don't get too drunk, okay?"

Pete scoffed "calm down, I won't."

Andy nodded and stepped back into his apartment "okay, I'll see you later."

 

Pete went back into his own apartment and closed the door, sighing softly. Despite having everything he ever wanted; a career, fame, friends; something was still missing. He knew what that something was but he wouldn't ever say it out loud. The truth was he missed having someone who loved him as more than just a friend, he missed feeling loved.

He paced over to the bottle of whiskey still on the counter and picked it up, eyes trailing sadly over the bottle. He hated drinking when he was upset, he knew it was an escape and only made things worse so he put it away. He checked the clock which read a little past eleven. He had to meet his manager in an hour for lunch, that should be a fun conversation. Pete had told him upfront that he was bisexual and he said that it wouldn't be a problem. Clearly, that was a lie. People often talk about being pro-lgbt+ but then when it actually becomes a part of their life it makes them uncomfortable. The press was worse though, every time he was even seen talking to a guy it was presumed that they were together. It was horrible.

Andy was just about his only friend because the paparazzi drove everyone else away. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, letting his stress go. He might have stood there for the rest of the day but the alarm on my phone that told him that he needed to take his medication because, oh yeah, patient.

He picked up a bottle of anti-depressants from the counters and turned it over in his hands. The pills made an empty rattling sound inside the bottle, reminding him that they were only pills. Happy little pills that made the world seem more bearable. Everything was just so... Too much sometimes. Especially when so few people were ever there. Andy had only come back into his life when he moved into the apartment next-door a few months ago, before that he had no one.

He poured himself a glass of water and swallowed it down along with the pills. He sighed and pulled on a jacket, seeing as the rain was still falling outside. He considered just blowing off the whole meeting but people were pissed enough as it was, no use making it worse.

 

 

"Pete, this is becoming a problem."

"My sexuality isn't something I can change, sorry it's an inconvenience."

He sighed "no, that's not what I meant. I'm not upset about that it was a guy, that's fine, it's the reputation you've gotten lately."

A slight smile tugged at his lips "oh, so you don't like that I'm a slut?"

Pete's manager, Clyde, was shocked by his phrasing but nodded "well, yes. People with that reputation, they last a couple years but then drop off. You've got real potential, but not if you keep this up."

Pete drummed his fingers on the table and took a sip of his coffee. "And what do you want me to do?"

"Get yourself a girlfriend, or a boyfriend if you want; and not some bad boy, -or girl, fuck, whatever."

Pete chuckled and nodded "I know what you mean, but... It's hard to find someone, y'know?"

"I know but try, I don't want to see you lose your career because of this."

Pete nodded and stood, leaving some cash on that table to pay for his lunch "got it; less fucking, more dating."

Clyde chuckled and shook his head "goodbye Pete, and good luck."

 

"Thanks, I might need it," he said before turning and leaving the cafe. The rain had lightened to a slight drizzle and Pete was able to walk at a more natural pace back to his car. The rain wasn't quite so cold anymore because the sun was peaking through a rift in the clouds to the north, over what was probably the DePaul University of Music. Pete had gone there for a year before he dropped out. He found that the classes didn't teach him anything useful in the first place. As a self taught musician, he never needed someone to tell him how to play. If it sounded wrong, you were playing wrong, not too complicated. Now if they had a class on avoiding paparazzi then things would be completely different.

No one cared what the fuck he did before he came out as bi, well not came out, before he fucked a guy. He never felt obligated to come out to the public, his job was to make music and perform, not to talk about his personal life. Back before people knew about his sexuality, the only time he got any publicity was for his music. It probably wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't a new scandal every week like Clyde had said but whatever. No one wanted to date the bisexual fuckboy besides fifteen year old fans, and he was in enough trouble without getting in trouble with pedophilia. And besides, Pete might be an asshole sometimes but he still valued consent above everything else. He would probably just keep fucking (legal aged) people from clubs until his manager dumped him and then he'd regret his life choices.

He stepped up to his car and groaned, feeling water seeping through his canvas shoes. That definitely didn't improve his mood.

He got into the car and leaned his head back against the headrest. He still had another couple hours before he needed to meet people at the bar for sound check. As much as he loved music, he found he hated musicians.

 

 

The familiar sound of happy hour at the bar filled Pete's ears as he checked the tuning of his bass one last time. His fingers ran over the rough strings and he looked over the crowd. Most people were there more for the alcohol than the music but it didn't matter. It wasn't the crowds or the cheers that made it worthwhile, it was just being able to play. Someone tapped the microphone which sent a loud noise echoing through the bar. The person -who Pete was pretty sure was named Mark, or maybe Matt- also happened to be singing tonight. Although Pete could sing, screamo wasn't always right for the bar scene. He half-listened to Mark/Matt doing the usual "thank you all for coming" speech that was always made even though no one actually cared what music played. He didn't even have to think about the way his fingers played across the instrument once the music started up. Despite his shitty day, he felt a smile spread across his lips as the song hit the chorus. Music always made him feel better but if he had someone to play with besides pretentious assholes who thought they were Greenday he would love it even more.

 

 

"Great show, Wentz." Said Mark/Matt once they finished playing "oh, yeah, thanks... Thanks dude." He replied, only slightly caring if he realized that he didn't know his name.

He put his bass back into its case and hoped he would leave soon.

"So I was thinking..." God fucking damn it, couldn't people leave him alone? "When we go on tour-"

"You aren't going on tour." Pete interrupted flatly.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed and straightened up slightly "look, you're not going on tour. Maybe in the future yeah but stop thinking you're some big deal, you're not."

Mark/Matt looked a little offended but it was quickly replaced by anger.

"Well neither are you! You think because you wear makeup and act all tough you're better then people? Just do all of music a favor and kill yourself."

Pete just chuckled coldly "too late." He said before grabbing his bass and stepping out the back door of the bar. The rain has stopped now which was nice. He knew he'd be getting a call from Clyde soon telling him that Mark/Matt had complained about him being rude but that was a problem for tomorrow. For tonight, he just needed to sleep, or at least rest.


	2. All The Lovers With No Time for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Ava's relationship is getting even worse and Pete is struggling as a musican.

-One Week Later-

"Patrick, get up,"

Joe's voice filtered through the tranquility of sleep.

"Dude, wake the hell up!" He said a little louder, prodding Patrick's side gently.

"Shut up, I'm sleeping." Patrick mumbled groggily.

Joe jumped onto his friend's bed, almost knocking the other man off.

"I'm awake! I'm awake! What do you want?" Patrick yelped as he was literally jolted awake.

"We're going bagel shopping!"

Patrick yawned and sat up "why the hell are we going bagel shopping at seven in the morning?"

"Because we need bagels!"

"But I'm comfy," Patrick mumbled, burying his face back into the pillow.

"You can sleep in the car, get up."

He groaned in annoyance but sat back up "why do we need bagels so much?"

"Everyone always needs bagels. Don't question it."

"Do I really have to go?"

Joe nodded and got back off his roommate's bed "yep, now get dressed."

"But-"

"Dressed, now, go."

Patrick got up and rolled off his bed. The floor was cold and he realized it was still raining, though not as heavily.

Apparently Joe just realized that too "damn, does the rain ever stop?"

Patrick shrugged and pulled on some clean jeans "sometimes. And in the winter it snows."

"Well shit. It better not be raining during the concert."

Patrick got fully dressed and walked over to the window where Joe was standing "yeah, four weeks though, things'll probably lighten up by then."

"They better. Did Ava ever get back to you about it?"

"No, not yet," he lied "she's still thinking about it."

Joe sighed "dude, you're going. There's no reason you can't. It's not like you're going to get drunk or try to have sex with Brendon Urie or something. Oh my god, what if you had sex with Brendon Urie? If you have sex with Brendon Urie you have to tell me everything!"

Patrick smiled and hit Joe's shoulder.

"I'm not having sex with Brendon Urie!"

"But you could!"

"Have you forgotten that I like girls?"

Joe shrugged "so? You could be bi."

Patrick rolled his eyes "bisexual? You seriously believe in that shit? People are gay or straight, that's how it works. If you think you can like both then you're fucking confused. Pick a god damn side."

Joe tensed slightly, knowing Patrick was wrong, but he didn't feel like arguing right now.

 

 

"I thought we were going grocery shopping." Patrick said, looking out the window as Joe drove them the opposite was from the store.

"Oh, yeah. I lied. I'm getting you out of the house."

Patrick sighed and pulled his flannel around his shoulder, the damp fabric only making him colder. The rain has lightened but still sprinkled over the gray Chicago skyline.

"What are we doing?" He asked, dreading the answer.

"Don't worry, we're just going out for breakfast."

Patrick smiled slightly. He could live with that. Minimal human interaction.

"Alright, I'm okay with that."

"See?" Joe smiled and poked Patrick's shoulder "I'm not so bad."

Patrick just huffed in response and looked out the window. The scenery passed in a blur before his half-closed eyes. He yawned and let his eyes close and his mind go blank. Before he knew it, he was asleep.

 

Joe prodded his side gently until he woke.

"Not sleeping well?" He asked once Patrick was awake enough to answer.

"I don't know, maybe. I'm just stressed."

"I know how you feel. What about?"

Patrick sighed at just the thought of everything "school, music, Ava, everything."

"I'm sorry, dude. Will IHOP make you feel better?"

"IHOP makes everything better, Joe."

"IHOP and music."

"Speaking of which," Patrick said as they walked in "I'm pretty sure I can go to the concert. I mean, Ava won't be too happy about it but it's Panic!, she has to understand that, right?"

"Really? That's awesome! And I'm sure she'll understand." Joe grinned, happy Patrick was making dissensions for himself.

"Yeah, Ava said it was okay as long as I didn't try to meet anyone new or something like that."

 

Patrick and Joe were talking happily over plates of pancakes when Patrick's phone rang. He was only half-surprised when he heard Ava's voice.

"Where the hell are you?"

"Sorry, I went out to breakfast with Joe."

"And you didn't tell me?" Her voice got higher as she got madder and Patrick bit his lip.

"I'm really sorry, h-he didn't tell me what we were doing so-"

"He didn't even tell you where you were going and you just went with him!?"

"N-no, I mean, w-well kind of, I-"

"Shut up, Patrick!"

He ran a hand through his hair nervously "s-sorry..."

"Fuck, Patrick. Could you be any more stupid?"

He almost spoke but he felt the lump in his throat trembling, tears dampening his eyelashes. Joe could tell what was happening and put his arm around the other man's shoulders.

"I went to go check on you and you were just gone!"

Joe took the phone away from Patrick and ignored his protests.

"Dude, chill. First of all, I didn't tell him we were going out so it wasn't his fault; second, you don't run his life, he deserves fucking better than you, bitch."

Joe wasn't usually one to get mad but Ava was a fucking grade A bitch. She was one hundred percent abusive and Patrick couldn't see it.

"Joe, stop!" Patrick said as he grabbed his phone back.

"I-I..." he stammered.

"Patrick," she said, her voice taught, as if trying to hold back anger "Patrick, I want you to come and talk to me, now." Every word pierced through Patrick and sent shivers up his spine.

"O-okay, I'll b-be there in like ten minutes." He said nervously.

"Don't you dare be late."

She hung up and Patrick stood. Joe grabbed his hand and looked at him, his brow furrowed worriedly.

"She can't do this to you." He said in a wavering voice.

Patrick didn't say anything and pulled away before leaving hurriedly.

 

He stepped out of the cab just eight minutes later. Ava was already waiting by her dorm, her hands on her hips and a look of pure rage on his face.

He walked up to her, trying to ignore the nervous feeling in his stomach.

"Can't you do anything right?" She snapped. He just looked at the ground, scared that if he said anything it would make things worse.

"Look at me, you fucking pussy!" He glanced up and his body tensed when he saw her fist balled and raised aggressively.

"I d-didn't- I'm sorry."

She slapped him. She'd been plenty angry at him before but she'd never actually physically hurt him.

He backed up instinctively and rubbed his cheek, now red and stinging.

"Don't you ever do anything like that again! I swear, Patrick, you're the most useless person I've ever met!"

"A-Ava, I... P-please..." He whimpered.

She took a deep breath and her gaze softened slightly.

"Stop whining, you're pathetic. But you're forgiven."

She stepped closer to him and he tensed, afraid of being hit again. Instead she hugged him "I just don't want to lose you."

He nodded understandingly "I'm sorry, n-next time I'll tell you."

She sniffled and nuzzled into Patrick's neck "a-and then Joe w-was so mean to me and I was just upset."

"Shh, I know, I don't know why he would say something like that."

"Y-you don't think I'm a bad person, do you?"

He stroked her hair and held her "no, no of course not. You're perfect." he said honestly.

"You really think that?"

"Yes, Ava, you are."

She pulled away and wiped her eyes even though her eyes looked dry "so you understand why I got mad?"

"Yes, I deserved it. All of it."

She sighed and nodded "yeah, you were kind of a dick to me..."

"I-I know, I'm so sorry."

She kissed his cheek and took his hands "you learned from it and it won't happen again. That's what's important."

Patrick nodded in acknowledgement and mumbled "y-yeah, you're right,"

"Look, I have to go but I'm glad we talked."

She pulled away from Patrick and smiled. Patrick ignored the hurt feeling in his chest "sure. I'm glad we talked too."

She turned and left without a second glance.

 

 

"Patrick? You okay?" Joe asked when Patrick walked in. He didn't reply and retreated into their shared room, his head hung. Joe followed him and sat next to his friend on his bed.

"I'm sorry I said that to Ava, I just don't want to see you get hurt.

Patrick shrugged and moved away , still staying silent.

"Are you mad at me?"

Patrick replied with a shake of his head.

"You're mad at Ava?" He asked, a little shocked.

"No..." Patrick mumbled softly.

"Then... Then who?"

Patrick just sighed and laid down, his back to Joe. Joe didn't leave and instead put his hand on Patrick's arm in an attempt to comfort him. He made no attempt to push him off so he laid down next to him, his arms around the other man's waist. They didn't say anything for several minutes but Patrick eventually broke the silence.

"It's not you or Ava or anyone I'm mad at... It's me..."

 

* * *

 

 

Pete tapped his pen in annoyance against his notebook. "Write more love songs," Clyde had said "people want to hear love songs."

Yes, because screamo was such a romantic genre.

Love songs were all well and good but the last time he had been in a romantic relationship was over a year ago, not leaving him much to work with.

He gave up and dropped the pen down onto the paper. He looked around to try to find anything to do. There was a box of unopened letters on his desk that he had been procrastinating dealing with for a while.

He stood and flipped through the stack. Most of it was junk but something did catch his eye.

" **EVICTION WARNING** " was written in bold on the front.

Well shit.

He opened the letter and groaned at his own stupidity.

 

_Dear Mr. Peter Wentz,_

_We are sending you this notice to inform you that we have received three complaints about your behavior from our other residents and staff. If this behavior continues, we will have no choice but to evict you from our facilities. For more information, please visit the front desk._

_Regards, Humbolt Ridge Apartments_

 

Great, just fucking great.

Pete thought for a second about what to do. Maybe he could go and talk to the guy at the front desk who had probably made  one of the complaints and get him to withdraw it. He trudged down to the lobby and luckily, the same man was working. He forced a friendly smile when Pete approached "can I help you, sir?"

Pete ran his hand through his hair. He hated talking to people, and he hated apologizing even more.

"Hi, um, yeah. So I'm really sorry about last week. I was pretty out if it."

He shrugged and looked back at his desk "thank you. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Can you maybe withdraw that complaint?"

The man looked back up "for a price, I'm sure I could arrange something."

Pete sighed in exasperation and reached into his pocket for his wallet. He put a crinkled twenty dollar bill on the counter. The man took it and smiled coldly "I'll call management immediately."

Pete almost said something about the guy being a dick but decided against it, he didn't need to make things worse.

"Thanks," he muttered flatly and turned on his heel. He walked back up to his apartment. The pen and empty notebook were still laying on the couch. He silently cursed Clyde for making him right a love song.

"Who knows," he said to himself bitterly "maybe I'll fall in love soon."

 

 

He checked his email for what mist have been the fortieth time that day. Usually it was just advertisements, info about gigs, or updates from social media so he didn't expect to find anything important. The first email loaded and showed that it was from Clyde.

What was wrong now?

The message contained no content except for a link to a tabloid article. He groaned at the thought of what the article was about and opened it.

_Today we have a very special interview for you. An anonymous source has offered to answer some questions about her experience of being sexually involved with musician, Pete Wentz._

There was no way this was legal. Fuck. Which fucking girl decided to make his reputation even worse?

_**Q:** so let's get right to it. Was he good?"_

_**A:** yes! He was amazing! And big, eight inches at least._

Pete closed the article in disgust. What the actual fuck? This fucking bitch decided to tell the entire world what it's like to have sex with him! God fucking damn it.

A second email had come in from Clyde during that time.

_This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. If you can't get yourself a serious relationship, get yourself a new career._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is shorter and I'm sorry. Last week I had a better plan of what I was doing than I did this week but next week should be better. This chapter is set a week after the firsts just because I'm trying to get to their meeting soon but once the meet it should be an easier time line to follow. Anyway, thank you so much for reading. This story is already doing really well so that's awesome. If you like it subscribe, comment, or leave kudos; it would mean so much.


	3. I'm Not the Desperate Type but You've Got me Looking in Through Blinds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate has a way of bringing people together.

-Four Weeks Later-

"Fuck yeah!" Joe yelled as he through open the curtains to reveal a blue sky "good weather!"

Patrick looked up from his coffee "finally. I was starting to think we'd need to build a raft to get to the concert."

"Throw away the rain jackets! Burn the umbrellas! It is a time to rejoice!" He said, grinned wildly at Patrick.

"I'll never understand how you have this kind of energy."

Joe ruffled Patrick's already messy hair "because we're going to fucking see Panic!at the Disco! Aren't you pumped?"

Patrick chuckled softly "give me ten minutes to wake up and then we'll see."

"Okay, fine, be that way." Joe said, trying to look upset.

Patrick didn't say anything and watched Joe running around the small dorm looking for whatever t-shirt he had planned to wear. The caffeine started to kick in and it finally dawned upon him that holy shit, the concert was today.

 

After a couple hours, both of them were dressed and showered. They didn't need to leave for another two hours but they were both practically glowing with excitement already. Patrick's phone lit up with a text and he looked at it, knowing what it would say.

Ava: Have fun today. Remember our rules; no drinking, no staying out past nine, and NO talking to anyone besides Joe.

Patrick sighed and put his phone back in his pocket. He kind of wished she's just let him look out for himself but he understood her concern. Joe was combing through his matted hair in the bathroom and Patrick noticed he had shaved.

"Trying to impress someone?" Patrick asked.

"There's lots of people at concerts. Who knows, I might find a girl who doesn't think I'm disgusting."

Patrick chuckled and looked at his own reflection. He was nothing special really. He wasn't fat by any means but he also wasn't skinny, blue eyes hid behind glasses that always fell down his nose, ugly orange hair that fell into over his eye if it wasn't gelled back; an overall average individual. He took off his glasses, deciding contacts would be a safer plan for the concert. He picked up the case that held his contacts and put one in. Joe, who had been too preoccupied by his hair to notice until it was too late, gagged.

"Ew! Patrick! Do that somewhere else!"

Patrick jumped and almost poked himself in the eye. He blinked a few time to set the lens and flipped Joe off.

"Like where? The middle of the street?"

"Ugh, fine, just warn me next time you decide to examine the back of your eyeball. It's fucking disgusting."

He darted out of the bathroom and Patrick shrugged before putting in the second contact. Joe was sitting in his usual armchair and drumming his fingers anxiously.

"Joe, we don't need to go for another two hours. Calm down."

"I know but I'm just excited!"

"Too much coffee?"

"Way too much much coffee."

 

"Patrick, let's go!" Joe called from the door. Patrick shoved his phone and wallet into his pocket and hurried out to meet him.

"Sorry, I'm ready."

They both grinned and walked out to Joe's pickup. As soon as they got in, Joe had Nicotine blaring. He threw his head back and sang along out of key. Patrick grinned and watched him, preferring not to sing.

The drive passed quickly and when they got to the outdoor arena, here was already a large group of people standing in line outside. The two men got into the line and thanked god the weather was good. Standing in a line for a half hour was bad enough without freezing rain.

"I told you we should get here early."

"We're a half hour early already! People probably started lining up yesterday or some shit."

Joe sighed but knew Patrick was right. The line started moving at a good speed after a few minutes anyway and they were in before long. Patrick made sure to stay near Joe as they walked around the various vending carts that filled the park. He knew that he had his phone and could meet up with Joe easily if needed but he was still nervous. There was no way Ava could tell if he didn't stay near Joe but still. His crippling social anxiety didn't help.

They ate lunch near the outskirts of the park where it was quieter and overlooked the lake. Patrick was leaned up against a tree that was just starting to lose its leaves. Joe was sprawled out on the blanket, his head on Patrick's lap.

"When does the actual concert start again?" Joe asked, his eyes closed.

"Five. Its four now."

"Next time I say we should be early to something," he mumbled "hit me."

Patrick tensed a little. Ava had hit him twice more since the first time. It started out with slaps but the most recent one was actually a punch to his nose. She hadn't hit nearly hard enough to break anything but he did have a bad nosebleed afterwards.

"Yeah well this gives us lots of time to hang out first so it could be worse."

"I guess," he said, sitting up "but still,"

Patrick nodded and looked around. There wasn't much else to do. Joe looked over at the large mosh pit of people near the stage, already pushing their way to the front. Patrick wasn't one for crowds but he'd deal with it for Panic!at the Disco.

 

"Dude, shit, that was awesome!" Joe laughed when Brendon did some other cool trick on stage. Patrick wouldn't know what, the guy in front of him was blocking his view.

"I wouldn't know," he said.

"Aw! Patty!" Joe said, wrapping his arms around Patrick's waist. He picked the smaller man up and he squealed.

"You're so short!"

The dude beside them, who was completely wasted, called out drunkenly when Joe picked Patrick up.

"Tryna' crowd surf, bro?"

Before Patrick or Joe could protest he had transferred Patrick into his own arms, which were shaking a little too much. The other people around them quickly moved to hold Patrick up but one person wasn't paying attention and he ended up falling back onto the ground. He landed hard on his right foot and a sharp pain shot up his leg. He collapsed down on his ass and groaned. No one in the crowd seemed to notice his fall, all except one.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Pete's attention was pulled from the stage when a falling movement caught his eyes. He turned and say that apparently one of the people crowd surfing had fallen. Pete was about to just ignore it but he let out a pitiful grown of pain. Pete moved to kneel beside the man.

He had shocking orange hair that looked natural and matched his pale skin perfectly, his blue eyes shone in the sunlight, his body was the perfect size and shape. Fuck, he was hot. He would have been perfect, except only assholes try to crowd surf.

"You okay?" He asked.

The other man tried to stand but his leg immediately gave out under his weight.

"Ow," he mumbled "I don't know..."

"Want a hand walking?"

He seemed to struggle with the decision but eventually nodded "yes please,"

Pete put his arm around the other man and helped him up. It was clear he wouldn't be able to walk so Pete picked him up bridal-style. He didn't protest and rested his head comfortably on Pete's shoulder. The orange-haired man was a lot lighter than Pete imagined and he felt a little mad for him.

He carried him out and set him down on the grass away from the crowd.

"Thanks," he said "I don't... Yeah, thanks."

"No problem. I'm Pete, by the way."

"Patrick," he replied. The name fit him somehow.

Pete was really trying to work up the courage to ask him out.

"Nice to meet you. How's your ankle feel?"

He moved his foot a little and winced but the fact that he could move it was a good sign.

"Better, still kind of hurts though."

"Yeah, I've seen worse from crowd surfing though to consider yourself lucky."

"Oh, I w-wasn't crowd surfing, I, uh... Long story."

"I got time."

"Well so my friend was mocking me for being short-"

Pete cut him off without thinking "why? It's cute."

He blushed and looked down, making him look even more adorable.

"Oh, um, th-thanks. H-he he picked me up and the dude next to us thought that I was crowd surfing or something and yeah."

His voice was oddly melodic and Pete found himself entranced by every word.

"That happened to my ex girlfriend once. Do you need me to get you some ice or something?"

"I think I'm okay, but thanks."

"Do you want to go get a coffee with me sometime?" Pete asked after a few seconds.

Patrick was surprised by the question but nodded "yeah, okay, can I have your number or something?"

Pete nodded and tried not to smile to big. Suck it Clyde, he had a fucking date. He recited his number and Patrick put it into his phone. There was something about a person asking for your number. Like not only do they like your company but they also want to see you again.

I thought crossed his mind and made him suddenly nervous "you are legal, right?" Patrick looked pretty young, for all Pete knew he could have been like fifteen.

"I'm nineteen so yeah. Why does it matter?" Pete smiled, he was only two years older than Patrick.

Pete shrugged. Of course, it really did matter but there was no point in bringing up something as dark as pedophilia before they'd even had their first date.

"Just wondering. So are you in college?"

"Yeah, I'm a freshman at one of the art institutes."

Pete grinned, he was an artist. He liked artists.

"What do you study?"

"Music."

Pete was over the moon. This adorable guy who was actually into him and not just because he was locally famous was also a musician?

"What do you play?"

Patrick smiled, he obviously liked this topic "everything. Or at least most major instruments."

There was something about the way he talked about music that drove Pete crazy; his eyes lit up and he smiled in a way that made the corners of his blue eyes crinkle slightly. It was a contagious kind of happiness and Pete wanted to learn all the ways to make him smile like that.

"That's awesome. I play bass and sing some so yeah."

"Oh, that's like all I can't do." His smile faded quickly "do I sound full of myself? I'm sorry, I'm probably so annoying."

Pete was shocked by how quickly his mood changed, like he was trained not to talk about himself. Poor kid, Pete had known too many too many people who had been taught the same thing by parents, friends, or partners.

"Hey, no, it's fine. I actually really like hearing you talk."

He looked at Pete with a bewildered look "why? I'm so boring."

"No you're not. You're really interesting."

Patrick smiled and looked at the ground "thanks, I like talking to you too..."

Pete had noticed that he bit his lips a lot. It made him wonder what it would be like to kiss him. If it was someone else he would have but Patrick wasn't just some drunk guy looking to score, he was unlike anyone Pete had ever dated.

"Sucks that you're missing the concert." Pete said, suddenly remembering that there were things in the world beside blue eyes and dark orange hair.

"I'm not one for crowds. I'd rather watch from here actually. I was only there because my friend... Oh shit, Joe must think I'm dead or something." He pulled out his phone and called someone Pete assumed was Joe.

"Hey, um, sorry for disappearing... No, I'm fine. I just hurt my ankle... Not far, some guy helped me out and we're hanging out on the grass... No, really, dude. It's fine. I like it better out here anyway... Yes, I'm sure... Okay, bye." He hung up and looked back at Pete.

"Don't you want to go meet back up with him?"

"Nah, I can't go into a crowd with my ankle still bad and he loves stuff like this."

"You don't like it?"

He glanced down "anxiety..."

Pete nodded. He understood how hard how hand it was to be around people with anxiety.

"Yeah, I get it. If I don't take meds for it I fucking lose it."

He was silent for a few seconds and Pete worried he'd done something wrong but Patrick spoke "so what do you do for a living?"

Pete hesitated. He got the feeling Patrick wasn't into the kind of guy he was, or at least the guy the media chose to show.

"I'm a musician."

Patrick perked up again "really? That's so cool!"

"You should come to one of my shows sometime." Pete said without thinking. Then he remembered that that would lead him to finding out what a dick he was sometimes. "Or, you know, not. I don't... Whatever, do whatever you want."

"Is something wrong?"

"No just... Don't judge me based on my past decisions, please."

Patrick bit his lip again, obviously concerned by what those decisions could have been.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

Pete considered lying again but decided that he would find out eventually and he might as well get it over with.

"I just have a kind of shitty reputation is all."

"Oh, okay, that's fine."

Pete was surprised. Did he really not care? He expected the usual immediately break up that happened when people found out what a slut he was.

"Like, it's bad. But I don't want you to think everything people say about me is true."

Patrick smiled at him comfortingly "it's fine, really."

"Okay, thanks, it means a lot."

"Well I'm not going to think badly of you just because of rumors."

Pete swallowed nervously "not all of it's just a rumor..."

"Have you killed someone?"

"God, no! I'm not that bad!"

"Kidnapped anyone?"

"No! Nothing like that!"

"Rape?"

"Dude, no! I just used to sleep around!"

Patrick smiled and Pete realized he wasn't serious.

"Okay," he said casually "I don't care about something like that."

"Thank you, most people kind of freak out about it."

"I'm sorry if it comes up at some point."

Pete really did feel bad. If Patrick was going to be his boyfriend, which he really hoped he would be, people would constantly be bringing it up.

"Really, I don't care how many people you've slept with. Don't worry."

 

They looked back at the stage when they announced that they were playing the last song of the night.

"I should go find Joe," Patrick said, I hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yeah, sure. You need a hand walking?"

Patrick got to his feet and put weight on his hurt foot experimentally. "I'm okay now. Thank you so much for everything."

"No problem. Text me about coffee."

"I will. Bye, Pete."

"See you, Patrick."

Pete watched him go and smiled. He had a date with a seriously awesome guy. He actually laughed out loud at his good luck and didn't care if people thought he was crazy. And who knows, maybe he'd be able to write that damn love song now.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you okay?" Joe asked Patrick worriedly when they met back up.

"Yeah, fine. Sorry, I just really screwed up my ankle."

"You're good now, though?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

They started back to Joe's car "so a guy helped you?"

Patrick couldn't help but smile at the thought of Pete "yeah, we're going out for coffee soon. I think we're really gonna be friends."

"Just friends?" How asked jokingly.

"Yes, Joe, just friends."

 

"Did you have fun?" Ava asked. They were sitting on Patrick's bed after he and Joe got back.

"Yeah, it was great."

She smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder "didn't break any of the rules?"

"No." Patrick said quickly. It wasn't his fault that he had met Pete but she wouldn't see it that way. He knew she would hate Pete. He was everything she wasn't. He was wild, carefree, and just so... Patrick couldn't even find words to describe him.

"That's good. Are you tired?"

"A little, yeah," Patrick admitted.

She stood "me too, goodnight."

"'Night, Ava."

She left quickly and Patrick collapsed back onto his bed. Joe came in a few minutes later and laid down in his respective bed as well.

"Goodnight, Joe, see you in the morning."

"G'night, Patrick, sleep well."

Patrick was asleep in minutes.

 

* * *

 

 

"Did you have fun at the concert?" Pete's therapist asked the next morning. For once, he didn't feel the usual irritation and restlessness that he always felt around her.

"Yeah, it was awesome. I even met someone."

She was surprised by his willingness to talk and smiled "really? How'd you meet?"

Pete chuckled at the memory "some drunk dude picked him up and he ended up falling and hurting his ankle. He couldn't walk so I carried him out and we talked for a while. I asked him out and he said yes. We're going out for coffee soon."

"That's wonderful, Pete. What's he like?"

"He's amazing. He's kind of shy but in a cute way. He's also really sweet and really hot."

"Did you tell him about your suicide attempt?"

Pete's heart dropped. He hadn't. He didn't know how he would react and started to get nervous that he wouldn't want to deal with drama like that.

"N-no..."

"Are you worried he won't want to go out with you anymore if he finds out?"

Pete nodded slowly.

"My suggestion is that you wait a while to tell him. The start of a relationship creates a base. Dropping something like that on him before that base is built could break the relationship."

"Thank you. You're right."

"So what else do you know about Patrick?"

Well he's a freshman in college studding music. He plays a shit ton of instruments and has social anxiety. I don't know much besides that, actually. I just know I like being around him."

"I hope it works out for you two. You seem really happy."

Pete smiled and let the words sink in "I am, I really am."

It was weird how happy someone he barely knew could make him. He'd talked to Patrick for only about a half hour but he couldn't wait to see him again. He was constantly checking his phone for a text from him.

"As much as I love talking to you about this," she said "I'm afraid your appointment time is up."

Pete said goodbye and walked out. The weather was still nice which was a good change from the constant rain the month before. He felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out of his pocket he almost dropped it into a puddle.

**Unknown number: Pete? This is Patrick.**

He added the number as a contact and texted back.

**:Hey! What's up?**

The reply came quickly and he grinned.

**:Nothing really. My teacher is talking about how tempo affects mood and I'm bored out of my mind. You?**

He typed out "just getting out of therapy" but erased it, remembering what his therapist said about waiting.

**:Just hanging out at my apartment. Bored.**

**:So when do you want to get coffee?**

He considered suggesting later that day but didn't want to seem obsessed or anything.

**:Tomorrow?**

**:Sure! What time?**

**:Noon? Starbucks on Madison?**

**:Yep and yep. See you then!**

**:Can't wait!**

**:Me neither!**

Pete pursed his lips. He wanted to keep talking to him but wasn't sure if the feeling was mutual. He put his phone back into his pocket and got into his car. He drove for a few minutes before his phone buzzed again.

**:Are you still there?**

He didn't like to text and drive but the traffic kept his speed low anyway.

**:Yeah sorry, I'm driving.**

**:Don't text me when you're driving! I don't want you to die!**

**:I'm barely moving. Traffic's a bitch**

**:Don't text me until you're parked**

**:Fine. Give me five minutes**

He pulled his phone back out as soon as he was in the parking lot of his apartment.

**:Happy?**

**:Very. I missed you**

He didn't even look where he was going as he walked up the stairs.

**:I have that effect on men**

**:Shut up! Not like that!**

**:Then how?**

**:You're fun to talk to and I like you**

Pete couldn't help but smile as he read that. He walked into his apartment and then his bedroom, flopping down onto his bed.

**:You are too. I can't wait to see you**

**:We sound like a sappy romance novel**

**:Yep, we're a modern-day Romeo and Juliet**

**:Except they killed themselves**

Pete but his lip. He hated hot Patrick didn't know

:Let's not do that. Hey, I was just wondering, what's you last name? Sorry if that sounds creepy, I'm just curious.

**:Stump**

**:Stump?**

**:Don't mock me, yes. Yours?**

**He smiled. Patrick Stump. It suited him somehow.**

**:Wentz**

**:Pete Wentz. I like it.**

**:Thank you. So how's class?**

**:He's talking about lullabies. Can you come save me again?**

Pete laughed and thanked god he had saved him the first time.

**:You're on your own this time. Good luck**

**:5 minutes left! So close to freedom!**

**:Yay! Whatcha doing after?**

He hoped that Patrick would say nothing so that they could keep talking.

**:Going out to lunch with Joe. I have to go. Sorry. See you tomorrow!**

**:See you then!**

Pete put down his phone and grinned. He pulled his legs up to his chest and giggled. Pete god damn Wentz giggled like a teen girl with a crush and all because of this short man with fiery hair and lovable personality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! I could write fluffy conversations between them all day! Anyway, thank you for reading! Please keep leaving comments and kudos, I love to see them.
> 
> How each person perceived Pete asking Patrick out was different so if you didn't catch it, Pete meant it as a date but Patrick thought he meant as friends. Pete thinks they're dating and Patrick doesn't.


	4. Failure at Everything (19 Going on Extinct)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete and Patrick are both excited about their "date" but life has a way of fucking with people.

Patrick drummed out a rhythm on the cafeteria table, waiting for Joe. Ava and her friends were sitting at their usual table but this time Patrick had been allowed to sit with Joe. She had said that because he had been so good the past few weeks that she could trust him more and give him more freedom.

Joe showed up a few minutes late. He threw his bag down at Patrick's feet and sat beside him.

"Heya, Pat."

"Hi, Joe. How's your day?"

Joe settled down and started eating the vegetables the cafeteria was serving that day.

"'Bout the same as when you left. How was class?"

"Well, class itself was boring as shit but I got to text Pete so that was awesome."

Joe laughed "dude, you're like obsessed with that man. You have a girlfriend, remember?"

Patrick sighed. He'd dealt with gay jokes his whole life, it would be nice for his best friend to accept that he was straight.

"Cut it out. We're just friends."

"Fine, whatever, don't be such a killjoy."

"I just... I'm tired of people assuming that I'm gay."

"I'm sorry. You know I kid around a lot. I know you're not into guys."

"Okay, I know. I just got pretty badly bullied for it in high school. I'd rather not have people bring it up."

Patrick felt bad for being upset over something so stupid but he really hated it. He had had a couple times where he thought he liked a guy in high school but he knew he liked girls, there wasn't a gray zone, he had just been young and confused.

"Sorry, I understand. I'm done."

"Thanks, sorry for freaking out."

Joe waved the comment off "nah, I get it."

The conversation ended there, as did the conversation for the rest of lunch and then the car ride back to their dorm. Patrick didn't want to say anything to farther upset his roommate who was obviously already upset about something. He also knew that Joe was stubborn and if Patrick didn't say something they might go days without talking.

"Joe, um, sorry I killed your joke..."

Joe looked over at him from his end of the couch.

"You really think that that's the problem?"

Patrick caught his breath. This always happened. He's find someone who made him happy and liked him but then they'd leave. He had just started to think maybe he wouldn't lose Joe but know h wasn't so sure.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I mean, Patrick, that you're kind of an asshole. You're a really nice guy and all but you're really judgmental. I get that you don't want people to call you gay but don't act like it's some horrible insult. People are straight, people are gay, and people are also bi. Wrap your mind around it fast or you'll end up alone."

Patrick didn't know what to say. Joe had never acted like that before. Joe stood and walked into their bedroom. Patrick knew better than to follow.

 

An hour later, Patrick was sitting on an empty football field . This is where he always went when he needed to get away. Football season didn't start for months so no one was ever practicing; it helped that it was a music school and no one took the sports teams very seriously. He looked down at his phone, hoping to see that Joe had tried to contact him. His phone showed the same lock screen as ever and no new messages or calls. He sighed and laid back onto the grass, closing his eyes.

He laid like that almost twenty minutes, trying to think of what to do and clear his mind simultaneously. He'd lost his only real friend now.

"Mind if I sit with you?" A voice said.

He opened his eyes and saw a taller girl sitting a few meters away. Patrick had been to lost in his thoughts to even notice her approaching. She looked a few inches taller than him but it was hard to tell when they were both sitting. She had dark, shoulder length hair streaked with purple and had brown eyes that stood out against her pale skin even in the fading light. She wore Converse, black skinny jeans, and a Mayday Parade hoodie.

"Go ahead," he said softly.

She seemed to debate with herself whether or not to speak and after a few seconds decided to "having a bad day?"

Patrick scoffed at that understatement "you could say that... Why're you out here?"

She looked over the expanse of grass and to the horizon "I like to watch the sunset, it's relaxing."

"I didn't realize it was so late..."

"It's not that late. There's plenty of time to walk back to a dorm before it even gets dark."

Patrick looked up at the pink-tinged sky and sighed "not sure I have a dorm to stay in.

She looked at him, her eyes filled with concern "why not?"

"I fucked something up with my roommate. I feel horrible. I don't know what to do."

He wasn't sure why he was sharing so much with a girl he'd never met. Hell, he didn't even know her name. She just seemed like the kind of person who would listen and understand no matter what you said.

"Have you talked to him?"

"N-no..." He admitted.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Patrick shook his head, not wanting to inconvenience her.

"I'm Emmy, by the way."

"I'm Patrick."

She smiled warmly "nice to meet you, are you sure you don't want a place to stay or anything?"

"No, really. I'm going to try talking to him. It was my fault we were fighting in the first place."

"Okay, good luck."

"Thanks," he said, standing and wiping the grass off his jeans "I'll need it."

 

He knocked on the door of his dorm. Joe flung it open only a few seconds after, his eyes hopeful and wide. He threw his arms around Patrick and hugged him tightly "I'm so sorry, I was a dick."

Patrick hugged back and nodded. He wanted to say the Joe didn't need to apologize, that he was right; but he just didn't feel honest saying it. He didn't think someone could be attracted to both boys and girls, even if Joe did.

"It's okay, I'm not upset."

Joe pulled away and let Patrick inside "okay, I still feel bad though."

"Don't be, it's fine. I'm just glad it worked out."

"Yeah, me too. Let's just forget about it."

Patrick hugged him again and smiled "good plan."

 

* * *

 

 

Pete walked into Andy's apartment without bothering to knock. Andy was already in the kitchen making dinner for both of them. Pete couldn't cook for his life so Andy had him over once a week to give him a break from take-out and ramen noodles.

"Hi, Pete!"

"Hey," he replied.

Andy turned from the vegetables that were cooking on the stove "how was the concert?"

"It was great. I could see the whole stage and everything," he grinned "well, until I had to rescue someone."

Andy raised his eyebrows "I'd love to hear this story."

"So there was this drunk guy and he picked up the guy and tried to get him to crowd surf but he ended up dropping him. He hurt his ankle when he fell so I helped him out of the crowd and talked with him for the rest of the concert. Oh! And we're going on a date tomorrow!"

Andy chuckled at Pete's enthusiasm "good for you, dude. Is he cute?"

"Yes, totally. And really funny and sweet. I think you'd like him."

Andy added some final stuff to the pan and served the food onto two plates.

"Well I'll have to meet him sometime, assuming you two work out."

They took their good and ate on Andy's couch, as usual.

"I think we will. We just click."

"I'm really happy for you. It's great to see you smiling like this again."

Pete was a little confused and hurt. Was Andy really like everyone else? Did he really just assume that because Pete had made a rash, emotional decision that he was a pity case?

"I was fine before. Stop acting like you need to feel bad for me."

"I know. Sorry, I know you don't like people worrying about you."

Pete relaxed a little, feeling more comfortable with his friend again. "It's fine, but thanks. I just hate when people act like I'm still in that mind set or something and like I'll try again if they don't look out for me."

Andy didn't say anything and nodded. This was why Pete hated this topic. It just made everything awkward and he would have to watch every word he said so no one would worry.

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Yeah, sure. So where are you going with this guy?"

Pete's mood lifted again "we're going to get coffee tomorrow. His name is Patrick by the way."

Andy's smile returned "don't tell me, Starbucks?"

"Where else? Starbucks is fucking awesome."

Andy rolled his eyes "you have an addiction."

"Dude, Starbucks is good."

Andy made a face "but it's so bad for you! Do you know how much sugar they put in just your morning latte? You're going to be so fat."

Pete laughed and pulled up his t-shirt, showing off his flat stomach and softly defined muscles "I've been drinking Starbucks since I was twelve. Are you calling me fat?"

Andy smirked and poked his friend's stomach "not yet, but just wait 'til your metabolism slows down."

Pete dropped his shirt and scoffed "whatever, you'll never make me give it up."

Andy nudged Pete's side with his elbow and rolled his eyes "well I hope you and your boyfriend, Patrick, have fun with your diabetes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Who else is excited/terrified for the next chapter? It will be up next Saturday as always. Please keep leaving comments and kudos because they mean the world to me.
> 
> I've made a couple OCs for this story and I'm wondering if a want to bring some back. Please leave a comment saying which ones you've liked and ones you didn't. Here's a list of the OCs as a refresher.
> 
> -Chloe (Ava's "friend" who was nice to Patrick in the first chapter)  
> -Pete's Therapist (I'll give her a name later, I promise)  
> -Clyde (Pete's manager)  
> -Guy at the Front Desk of Pete's Apartment (Pete tries to hit on him and he calls it harassment. I'll name him too, by the way)  
> -Emmy (talked to Patrick on the field in chapter four)
> 
>    
> I didn't include Ava in the list because she is already going to be important, obviously.


	5. I'm a Sucker and I'm Always the Last to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete and Patrick meet again, nothing goes as planned.

Patrick woke up with the feeling of excitement mixed with a hint of nervousness heavy in his chest. He didn't know why he was nervous, maybe just because he still kind of wanted to impress Pete. Joe was still asleep and the sunlight was only just starting to creep through the window. The weather was still nice and Patrick smiled, watching the line of warm light move farther across the floor as the sun rose.

He got up and stretched, walking over to the coffee pot in the kitchen. He turned it on and looked through the contents on the fridge. Joe had, once again, forgotten to get groceries; leaving them with almost no milk and half a box of cereal for breakfast. He sighed and poured himself a bowl of dry cereal. He knew he'd have to suffer through two classes before meeting with Pete, Music Theory and Chord-Scale Voicing would be torture. There was something about different about Pete, it was similar to the feeling he got around Joe but also reminded him of being around Ava or anyone else he'd been attracted to. He understood feeling like he was a close friend but he also got a tingling in his fingers and a fluttering in his stomach. He didn't understand it.

Joe still wasn't up when Patrick left for class, he set an alarm on Joe's phone so he wouldn't sleep through his classes and left quietly. Ava wasn't driving him today because there was no rain so he had to walk. He didn't mind the walking but the wind was cold and his guitar-which he needed for Chord Scale Voicing- was pulling in his shoulders awkwardly. By halfway through the walk he was regretting not waking Joe and asking for a ride.

He did still get to class on time and was early enough that the room wasn't all that crowed yet. He took his usual seat and put his bag and guitar behind him. No one payed much attention to his entrance so he pulled out his journal. He looked over the pages and pages of music. He wished he could submit some of it for his project in Music Publicity -one of his other classes- but lyrics were a requirement. Joe had offered to help a few times and Patrick could technically say yes, seeing as you could have someone write it with you, as long as they were cited. It was only extra credit anyway so he wasn't worried.

"Okay, okay, settle down." The teacher's voice echoed through the room. The chatter around Patrick died down and the room was filled with a heavy silence.

"Alright, your test on rhyme and tempo is in just two days so remember to pick a song to discuss in your essay."

Shit, Patrick still had to do that.

"Now, let's review."

Patrick tried to pay attention but his mind kept wandering. It wandered to Joe and their fight. It wandered to how he had become scared of Ava and what she might do. It wandered to Pete, the way he smiled and laughed and talked with his hands. He didn't blame Joe for being annoyed by how much he talked about Pete-hell, it annoyed him too- but he couldn't help it.

 

* * *

 

 

The rhythm of Pete's playing was thrown off by his phone ringing. He almost didn't answer until he say that it was Clyde calling. He was in enough trouble as it was without missing his call so he put down his bass and answered.

"Hey, Clyde. Something up?"

"Just checking to see how you're doing with the whole getting a girlfriend thing."

Pete clenched his jaw at how Clyde didn't mention the possibility of him getting a boyfriend instead.

"Horribly, actually. I don't plan on going out with a girl for a long time."

He smirked, knowing Clyde must be about ready to kill him.

"Wentz, this is completely unacceptable, I-"

"I'm going on a date with a guy, calm down."

Clyde sighed with a mix of relief and annoyance.

"Would I approve of this guy?"

Pete rolled his eyes and propped his feel up on the table "you would, _mom_."

"I'm only trying to help your reputation and career, no need to be rude."

"Whatever, you'd like him."

"Can I meet him sometime?"

"We have our first date soon so assuming things go well, we'll talk."

"Okay, I'll let you go now but it was nice to talk to you."

"You too," Pete lied "see you."

He hung up and sighed. Once again, no one trusted him to make his own decisions. He was just so over being told that who he was wasn't good enough. Be still had another hours or so before he he needed to meet Patrick, hopefully that would be enough time for him to calm down. He'd hate to do something impulsive and freak him out.

 

* * *

 

 

Patrick walked into Starbucks and shrugged off his jacket. He looked around and saw that Pete wasn't there yet. He wasn't sure if Pete would be offended if he ordered so he sat down at an empty table. The shop was relatively empty besides the people working there and a few people on computers or talking quietly. He didn't have to wait long before the bell on the door sounded as someone walked in. Patrick turned to see Pete walking over to his table. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and black jeans and jacket. His hair was gelled back and looked much neater than the last time Patrick saw it. He smiled and sat across from Patrick.

"Hey," he said "sorry I'm late,"

"You're fine, I've only been here a few minutes."

"Okay. Order yet?"

Patrick shook his head "no, I was waiting for you."

"That's sweet, you didn't have to do that though."

Patrick shrugged and stood up "'s alright. That's what friends do, at least I think it is; I wouldn't know, I don't have many friends."

Pete stood as well and walked with him over to the line of people waiting to order "well, that makes two of us. I done know either but it seems like a very friend-like think to do."

"Alright then," Patrick said with a smile "we're officially friends."

"Just friends?" Pete said, a slight smirk pulling at his lips.

Patrick would have gotten annoyed but Pete didn't mean any harm by it and, after all, he had mentioned having a girlfriend at some point when they first met so he wasn't serious.

"Shush, we've only known each other like two days, don't start with the labels."

Pete shrugged "alright, so you're one of those 'we don't need a label' guys. In paying, by the way."

"No way, I'll pay. It can be how I repay you for carrying me out of the crowd."

Pete chuckled and kissed Patrick's cheek "stop arguing, sweetheart, I'm paying."

Patrick knew he was blushing and looked away, he's never gotten physical attention from a friend like this before, but he kind of liked it.

 

They say back don't with their coffees -which Pete had payed for- like before except now Pete was next to Patrick instead of across from him.

"Have you ever written music before?" Pete asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

Patrick shrugged "kind of, but I can't do lyrics."

"I'm sure you're just being hard on yourself. I can also help you if you ever want."

Patrick drummed his fingers on the table, considering it "we'll see, I don't want to bother you."

"It's fine, I actually really love writing."

"Okay, maybe sometime. When did you get interested in music?"

"Well I've always loved music but I started playing when I was ten. My dad gave me his old bass for my birthday and I just fell in love with it. I went to college at DePaul for a year but I dropped out because I could support myself off playing in bars and stuff."

"Oh, that's cool. That's where I'm going. How did you manage to start playing professionally?"

"I was playing in a park and the person who's my manger now said he could get me gigs sometimes and it just sort of started from there."

"I've always wanted to do music like that but I'm way too shy. I'll just probably play backup or something."

Pete looked at him "bullshit, you'd be great."

"You've never even heard me play, how would you know?"

He shrugged "you just seem really devoted to it,"

"I just don't think I could, Pete."

 

* * *

 

 

Pete couldn't help but glance at Patrick's lips. He wanted to kiss him and pull in and bite those soft lips. There was a break in the conversation and Pete took it as an opportunity to lean closer to Patrick. He didn't react much besides looking a little curiously at him. Pete hesitated for a second before pressing their lips together gently.

Patrick immediately jerked away and practically fell out of his chair "wh-what the fuck?!"

Pete pulled back in surprise "I-I'm sorry, that was too fast," he looked away and pursed his lips.

"Too fast? It shouldn't have happened at all! I thought you were straight! I thought you wanted to be my friend!"

Pete's heart dropped when he realized he had never actually said "will you go out with me" and Patrick had taken it the wrong way.

"I'm bi. I'm s-so sorry you-"

Patrick cut him off "fuck you. Fuck you and everyone else like you." And with that he walked out, leaving Pete dumbfounded and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.
> 
> Things do get better so don't worry, this isn't the end or anything. Anyway, please keep leaving the kudos and comments. I've gotten so much support in the last couple weeks and it means so much.
> 
> Also, someone here has the username It's Okay To Be Gay With Gerard Way and I'd just like to say that I love them. Okay bye.
> 
> Tumblr: www.tumblr.com/that-fangirl-becca


	6. If Home Is Where the Heart Is Then We're Both Just Fucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither Pete not Patrick are taking the aftermath of their "date" well.

Patrick shoved his hands into his front pockets as he walked. He had been stupid enough to take the bus and now would have to wait twenty minutes for it to come again. He bumped into a few people as he walked but didn't care. He couldn't fucking believe he had thought that he and Pete could actually be friends. He never even considered that Pete had just been some manipulative, gay guy looking to score.

He sat down on the bus-stop bench and sighed, looking up at the darkening clouds.

"Having a bad day?" The woman beside him asked.

"You could say that again," he mumbled.

"Well that makes two of us." Patrick winced, remembering the way Pete had said that earlier.

"What happened to you?" Patrick asked, trying to get his mind off Pete.

"I just found out my husband was cheating on me. Men are dicks, no offense."

"Yeah, well, they are."

"A guy hurt you?"

Patrick sighed and nodded.

"I'm sorry. Boyfriend troubles?"

"Pete isn't my fucking boyfriend!" Patrick practically yelled. He wasn't usually the angry type but this whole thing was pissing him off.

She was taken aback by his sudden anger "oh, I'm sorry, I missunder-"

"Fuck off, lady." He stood and walked off, not caring that he still needed to catch a bus.

 

* * *

 

 

Pete leaned his head against the window of his car, feeling the cold glass against his forehead. He sighed and closed his eyes. How could he be so stupid? Of course things with Patrick wouldn't work out. Patrick was just too good to be true. Things that good didn't happen to people like him.

The worst part was he had lost him as a boyfriend but also just as a friend. He wouldn't get any more cute text conversations. He wouldn't get to listen to him complain about school. He'd never get to hear him play music. He'd never get to introduce him to Andy or even Clyde.

_Don't text me when you're driving! I don't want you to die!_

Pete squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the memories. It didn't work.

_We sound like a sappy romance novel!_

Pete didn't cry very often but he could feel tears leaking through his closed eyelids.

_He's talking about lullabies. Can you come save me again?_

Pete didn't know what was going to happen next, but he knew he wouldn't be getting over Patrick any time soon.

 

* * *

 

 

Patrick laid down on his bed after getting a cab back onto campus. Finally, the sadness that he had been repressing hit him. He had lost someone who he thought of as a friend. He and Pete had gotten along so well and he missed all their moments together, short as they had been. To be fair, getting coffee with Pete had been pretty fun before Patrick realized Pete didn't want him as a friend.

_Alright then, we're officially friends._

He buried his face in the pillow and whined softly, grateful that Joe was in class and not home.

_Stop arguing, sweetheart, I'm paying._

Pete had seemed like a blessing. He showed up and was somehow different than Joe was to Patrick.

_Bullshit, you'd be great._

It really hurt Patrick that none of it was true. He had come close to making a real friend but, once again, life had fucked him over.

He didn't move for what was easily an hour. It probably wasn't healthy to just lay and wallow in self-pity but he didn't care. He didn't even notice when Joe came home until he called Patrick's name.

"Patrick? What's wrong?"

Part of him wanted to roll over and ignore Joe but the logical part of him knew that that would only make Joe more worried.

"I, uh, y-you remember Pete?" Patrick asked. Talking felt weird after not speaking for so long.

Joe sat next to him and nodded "yeah, of course."

Patrick sat up and rubbed his eyes, grimacing when he felt tears leaking onto his hands. "Well, we went out for coffee a-and... And he tried to kiss me..."

Joe pursed his lips "did you give him the wrong idea somehow?"

Patrick shook his head and leaned against Joe, looking for the familiar comfort of his touch "I didn't. He just acted like he wanted to be my friend so he could get into my pants."

Joe wrapped his arm around Patrick and held him "I am so sorry. He's a dick and doesn't deserve you."

"I just thought that I could have a friend..."

"You have a friend, you have me."

Patrick sighed "but you have to be my friend, we live together."

"I don't have to be your friend, Pat, I want to be. If I didn't want to be your friend, I wouldn't hang out with you and invite you to concerts and watch shitty movies with you."

Patrick smiled slightly "thank you, you're my best friend too."

 

* * *

 

 

Pete didn't even look as he got out of his car and walked into the apartment lobby. He wasn't sure why he wanted to get home so bad, it wasn't like it would make him feel any better. He was thankful no one made any attempt to talk to him -he really wasn't in the mood. Once he got to his apartment, he looked out the window. The clouds were getting darker and looked like a storm was coming. He closed the blinds to block out the light and laid down on the couch. It was way too early for him to be able to sleep but he just didn't have the energy to be awake anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is killing you, it's killing me too, but it gets better soon. Please keep leaving all your nice comments because I absol adore hearing feedback from you guys. See you next week!


	7. Don't Pretend You'll Ever Forget About Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Ava catch up and Pete is still upset about Patrick.

Patrick didn't skip class often but, even the next day, he was in a bad mood about Pete. It was Ava who suggested the idea. So that's how Patrick found himself sitting beside her and looking over the lake. It was too cold for anyone else to be there but with several jackets, blankets, and the fact that Ava was on Patrick's lap helped to hide that. He thought back to what Joe had said about her being abusive and manipulative. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Ava was the best thing that ever happened to him. She did sometimes get mad, but that was because she was trying to show him how to be a good boyfriend, and he didn't always listen. He was a pretty crappy boyfriend; he didn't make enough time for her, didn't listen well enough, and argued too much. He was just glad she put up with all of it.

"Can we go back to my place now? It's pretty cold," she asked, moving off Patrick's lap.

"Sure," he replied, a little relieved to get back into the car that had heating. He got up and was about to go to the driver's seat, seeing as he had driven them there, but Ava stopped him.

"I'll drive." She said, nudging past him and getting into the driver's seat instead.

He shrugged and got into the passenger's seat "okay, it's no problem though."

"I need to run some errands anyway, I can drop you off on my way."

 

* * *

 

 

"Morning, Pete!" Andy said cheerfully when Pete opened the door to get his mail.

"Jesus!" Pete jumped "where does your energy come from?"

Andy shrugged "don't know, probably not depending on starbucks for it. Plus, it's ten, most people are up by now."

"Yeah, well," Pete sighed "bad night."

Andy didn't ask why but just gave him an apologetic look, which was good because Pete did not want to talk about Patrick. He was about to say goodbye and go back inside but Andy spoke again "so how was your date?"

Of course he brought it up.

"I don't want to talk about it." It sounded whiney and annoying but it was also true.

Andy's surprise was obvious. Pete understood why. The way he talked about him was like they were getting married, as it was, they didn't even one proper date.

"That sucks, man. But you'll find someone else."

The logical part of Pete knew that he was right, of course he would find someone else. He'd find someone else who took his breath away and made him forget his problems but another, more emotional part of him felt like he'd missed his only shot.

"Yeah, okay." Pete breathed "I, um, I should go."

Andy didn't protest when Pete stepped back into his apartment. He was hurting and needed to be alone, Andy understood that.

Pete closed the door behind him and sighed. He needed to be alone but being alone scared him. He did ex to shower, hoping it might clear his mind. He threw off his clothes-the same ones he had worn yesterday and had slept in-and stepped into the shower. He didn't wash his hair or anything, but just stood, eyes closed, and let the hot water run over him. He didn't bother to move again until the water started running cold, and even then his movements were dull and sluggish. He wiped condensation off the mirror. His roots were started to show again, and contrasted sharply against his bleached hair. Dark circles around his eyes showed off just how bad his insomnia had become. He dreaded the meeting he knew he had to go to. Not only was he just not in the mood, he would have to shave and put on makeup to look even vaguely alive. The old digital clock on the sink read 10:32, his meeting was at 11:00. It was not going to be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was like a half hour late so sorry. I've been busy lately. And I'm sorry this chapter is so short, I couldn't find a better place to end it. Anyway, please keep reading and sending in feedback, it really helps. Love you guys! See you next week!


	8. Baby, Come Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Ava have a fight that ends badly, but also leads to Pete and Patrick meeting again.

Ava kissed Patrick's cheek when she parked the car outside his dorm. "I'll see you tonight for the movie, okay?"

Patrick nodded. "Yep, I'll meet you there."

He got out and waved as she drove away. He really didn't want to go see whatever movie was playing that night, but Ava did, so he didn't have much choice. He unlocked the door and walked in, sighing when he felt the heat wash over him. Despite mid-day getting closer, it was only getting colder. They'd probably see snow before the end of the week.

Joe, oddly enough, in the kitchen. Patrick walked over to him to watch what he was doing.

"Welcome home, Pat," he said cheerfully, a proud grin on his face.

"Hey," he replied, looking around the kitchen. "Are you...using the oven?"

Joe nodded. "Mhm, I'm making lunch."

Joe couldn't cook. Everyone-especially Patrick-knew that.

"What are you making?" Patrick asked, a little confused.

"Sandwiches," Joe said with a smug look on his face.

Patrick groaned. "Joe, you don't put sandwiches in the oven."

"You don't? What if you want the cheese to be all melted and good?"

Patrick shook his head and chuckled. "That's what microwaves are for. Go take it out before you burn the dorm down."

Joe turned red in embarrassment and did as Patrick said. "Oh, I could've sworn you did."

Patrick messed up his friend's already-messy hair. "You leave cooking to me, okay?"

Joe nodded and threw what used to be a sandwich into the trash. "Okay, thanks for not letting me burn down the house or anything."

"No problem, you can stick to music."

Joe gave him a sheepish smile and skunk out of the kitchen. Patrick followed him and tried not to laugh.

He still wasn't in a great mood after what had happened with Pete, but he was better. He shouldn't be so hung up upon that, after all, it wasn't as if he would see him again.

 

* * *

 

 

"You're late," Clyde stated as soon as Pete walked into his office, as if he didn't already know.

"Sorry," he mumbled, taking his seat across from his desk. "Bad night."

Clyde sighed in disappointment. "Pete, we've had this discussion too many times."

Pete didn't want to bring Patrick up again, but it seemed he had no choice. "I just had a bad date is all. Don't worry," he added coldly. "What's left of my precious reputation is still in tact."

"Look, I know you might be hurting, but your attitude better improve before-" As he said that, the door opened again and a middle aged man walked in. Pete assumed this was the man who he had to meet with. He just opened a bar and was looking for local artists to perform once a week.

He smiled at Clyde and sat next to Pete. He shook both of their hands. "Nice to see you again, Clyde. And you must be Mr. Wentz."

His formality annoyed Pete, but he faked a smile nevertheless. Usually Clyde dealt with this stuff but this time he wanted Pete to be there to prove that he was a decent human being and not exactly how media portrayed him.

"Hey," Pete said. Clyde shot him a glare so he quickly corrected himself "er, hello, nice to meet you."

Clyde sat back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap "nice to see you again, Mr. Davidson. Thank you for meeting with us."

Pete wasn't sure what he was supposed to do here so he just watched and listened.

"Of course" the man -apparently named Mr. Davidson- looked back to Pete "I've heard you play and you're certainly talented; but you have to understand that being associated with someone with a reputation such as yours could devastate a business."

"Well, sorry if that happens," Pete said, unsure of what else to say.

From the look Clyde gave him, Pete was pretty sure his manager wanted to strangle him. "What Pete meant to say," he interjected "is that it won't happen so you have no need to worry."

"I'm glad to hear it," Davidson said "because once I find a few other people to play with you, you've got yourself a deal."

 

* * *

 

Patrick was onside his dorm waiting for Ava almost twenty minutes early before the set time, not wanting to make her wait. He was already regretting his clothing choice of thin jeans and a t-shirt because as soon as the sun went down, the temperature dropped farther. He was about to go back and change into something warmer but then Ava pulled up. He decided that freezing would be safer than making her angry so he just crossed his arms for warmth and got into her car.

"Hey," she greeted.

"H-hi," he realized his teeth were chattering and hoped she didn't notice "how's it going?"

She started driving and shrugged "okay, but it's supposed to snow tonight. Snow fucking sucks."

Patrick nodded but, in all reality, he loved the snow; but he knew better than to argue.

"What were you up to yesterday? I didn't hear from you at all." She asked. Patrick realized suddenly that she didn't know about Pete and, if she did, she would be madder than Patrick had seen her in months.

"I wasn't feeling great, sorry." He lied.

Patrick knew she believed him because if she didn't, she'd be screaming.

"Okay, just don't get me sick though."

 

* * *

 

 

Pete grudgingly looked at the stack of paperwork on his desk, he knew it had to get done but just really didn't want to. He looked around for an excuse and found quite a few. His bed had to be made, he needed to take out the trash, and his floor was covered in discarded clothes; overall it was a mess. He hated cleaning but not as much as he hated paperwork.

So he ended up actually cleaning and organizing most of his apartment while blaring Greenday. He felt pretty productive, even though he was only doing it to get out of doing his work. The cleaning was pretty enjoyable but maybe he was just bored. The radio playing in his bedroom kept his mind off work and gave him something to focus on.

The generic radio voice played over the speakers once Pete had been cleaning for about twenty minutes "hey, folks. Temperatures are still dropping so be sure to get back home and crank up the heating; it would be a bad night to be stuck outside."

Pete looked out his window at the street below. Frost was already creeping over the edges of the glass and he could feel the cold coming off it. The sun was starting to dip below the horizon and people were rushing home. He felt bad for anyone out tonight, that would really suck.

 

* * *

 

 

"What'd you think of it?" Ava asked as they walked out of the theater. Patrick was thankful she stopped in the lobby, dreading going outside into the cold.

"Pretty good, you?"

"Alright, I've seen better though."

Patrick barely noticed the girl walk up to them until she spoke "guys, um, I'm trying to lock up s-so I'm going to h-have to ask you to leave." She said in a soft, nervous voice.

"Sure," Patrick said, wishing he could just stay inside where it was warm "we're just leaving."

Ava looked annoyed by this which put Patrick on edge but she left with him anyway. He'd have to be sure not to say anything to upset her now and risk making her _really_ angry.

Ad he suspected, it was freezing outside. The kin of cold where even just breathing hurt. Ava didn't seem to mind due to get several layers of coats and scarves but Patrick, still in jeans and a t-shirt, felt like he was going to die.

About halfway to the car, Ava sneezed.

"B-bless you," Patrick said through his chattering teeth.

"Thanks. I think you got me sick."

Patrick had forgotten completely about how he had said that he was sick to avoid telling her about Pete "what a-are you t-talking a-about?"

"You were sick the other day, I think you have it to me."

"I w-wasn't sick, wh-what are-?" He cut himself off , finally remembering "I-I mean, yeah, r-really sick."he stumbled over the words in a mix of cold and fear.

Even in the dark, Patrick knew she was furious "what the fuck is going on, Patrick?!" Her fists were balled and Patrick winced, expecting to get hit.

"S-sorry," he whimpered "I w-went to get c-coffee with someone I m-met at the concert b-but I kn-knew you'd be m-mad s-so-"

Patrick was right to flinch away from her fist. She hit him hard in the stomach and knocked him to the ground. He was too stunned to move and she kicked his side, causing him to curl into a ball instinctively to hide his head and stomach from another blow. Another blow didn't come though. He stayed like that until he heard a car starting. He lifted his head and saw that Ava was driving off. For a second, he was relieved as he watched her headlights disappear from sight but then he felt something cold and wet hit his bare arm. He looked up and saw that it had started to snow. The theater was closed for the night and all the employees had left, leaving Patrick freezing and alone in the snow. He stood up and pulled out his phone, his hands trembling as he dialed Joe's number.

The dull ringing filled the quiet of the night in an almost eerie way before it stopped and was replaced by Joe's voice.

"Hey, this is Joe Trohman. Can't answer the phone right now but leave a message and I'll-" Patrick hung up before the voicemail message even ended.

He didn't know who else he could call. Joe was busy and obviously he couldn't call Ava. He scrolled through contacts he would probably never even use and stopped at the 'P' second when a name caught his eye: **Pete**.

He almost kept scrolling but a freezing gust of wind hit him and made his entire body hurt. With only a second of hesitation, he hit the call button.

 

* * *

 

 

Pete looked up from his work when he heard his phone ringing. He almost didn't answer it but something told him that he should. He had to double check that he was reading the name on the the screen right because the one that he saw was impossible. There was _no_ way Patrick was calling him after what happened. He was a little scared to answer but he knew he had to.

"Patrick?"

"P-Pete, thank god," he voice was shaking and soft, he sounded horrible.

"Patrick, hey, calm down. What's wrong?"

"S-South Cicero Av-Avenue, f-fuck, Pete, please."

Pete realized that Patrick was actually probably stuck outside. He thanked every saint he remembered his grandmother teaching him when he was little that he lived close to the street Patrick had said.

"It's okay, I'll be there soon."

There wasn't a reply from the other side besides the constant sound of Patrick's shattered breaths.

"Patrick, talk to me. I need to know you're still okay." Pete said as he got into his car quickly and started it.

"I-I'm not o-okay, though..."

Pete knew he shouldn't talk on the phone and drive but that was about the last thing on his mind then.

"I'm gonna be there in five minutes, just keep talking to me."

"Th-thank you..."

"Sure thing, I'm not an asshole."

"I-I'm s-sorry about b-before..."

He pulled onto the street Patrick had said "don't worry about it. Where are you?"

"Theater. U-under the awning."

Pete pulled up where he said and almost didn't notice the small figure huddled by the wall. He got out of his car and ran over to him. Patrick was shivering and barely even moved when Pete pulled up. His phone had fallen out of his hand and Pete had to touch his shoulder to get his attention.

He made a sound that sounded similar to Pete's name but Pete shushed him. He picked him up and carried him out to the car. His skin was freezing and Pete noticed he was far lighter than he expected. He set the younger man down and had to practically pry him off his body; he had surprising good grip for someone who was half-frozen.

He got into the driver's seat and turned on the heating as high as it would go. It took a few minutes but Patrick looked up after a while.

"Th-thanks," he said, his voice still shaking.

"No problem. It's too cold for anyone to be out."

"You didn't h-have to,"

Pete stopped him "no, Patrick, you might have died. How did you end up out here anyway?"

Patrick sighed "my, uh, my girlfriend and I had a fight and sh-she hit me and-"

Pete was stunned. This poor fucking kid.

"She _hit_ you?!"

Patrick just nodded and continued "then she left and it started snowing and yeah."

Pete started driving once Patrick was feeling better "that's horrible. You're breaking up with her, right?"

Patrick shrugged "probably not, as long as she'll take me back."

Pete looked at him "she can't do that to you. You deserve better."

"Like what?" Patrick said bitterly, looking out the window "you?"

Pete but his lip, he was hoping that this wouldn't happen "that's not what I meant..."

"I know," he said in a softer tone "I'm really sorry just... Shitty day."

"I understand. I mean, you did kind of almost freeze to death."

They pulled up to Pete's apartment and Pete handed Patrick his jacket "you need this more than me, it's not a long walk anyway."

Patrick looked like he was about to protest but Pete had already gotten out and was holding the car door for him. Patrick didn't say anything as they walked in but moved closer to Pete for warmth.

"So, I'll take the couch." Pete said once they got inside.

Patrick shook his head "n-no, I can't ask you to do that,"

"It's fine, Patrick, my couch is pretty comfy."

Patrick hesitated for a second "w-we could just share the bed..."

"U-um, sure. If you're okay with it."

"Y-yeah, I mean, you're okay with it."

"Okay, I guess that works. To be honest, my couch is pretty uncomfortable."

"And you don't mind because you... Y'know... Like guys?..." Patrick said as Pete lead him into his room.

"Doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother you that _I_ like guys?" He said with a hint of bitterness.

Patrick sighed "I'm sorry, I was an asshole. Look, I don't understand how someone can be attracted to both boys and girls but I'm going to try to."

Pete smiled and laid down in his bed, not bothering to change seeing as he was already in sweatpants and a hoodie. Patrick laid down on the other side of the bed.

"That's really great. Goodnight, Patrick."

"'Night, Pete. Thank you so much."

Pete smiled to himself and closed his eyes. Even as a friend, he was glad Patrick was back in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late, Halloween was pretty crazy for me this year (by that I mean my friend and I stayed up until 3 and got high off kitkats.)
> 
> Thanks for reading and leaving feedback because it is so nice to hear. And I might not be able to post for a while because I'm traveling so I'll see you when I see you!


	9. Lips Pressed Close to Mine. True Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mornings symbol new beginnings.

The first thing Patrick noticed was when he woke was that he was warm. His dorm was never this warm. It wasn't the uncomfortable panting and sweating kind of warm, it was just nice and he wanted to just cuddle up under the blankets and hibernate for the winter. The next thing his brain registered was that this wasn't he bed, or his room for that matter. He looked around and saw Pete laying on the other side of the bed. Seeing him brought back last night's memories and he relaxed; he was safe here.

Pete stirred when Patrick moved and let out a tired groan as he woke. His eyes blinked open and locked with Patrick's.

"Mornin'..." He grumbled and rubbed his eyes.

"Good morning," Patrick replied "thanks again for letting me stay here."

"Sure, no problem."

Patrick sat up and stretched. Pete's bed was far more comfortable than his college-provided mattress and he didn't feel the usual ache in his neck and back. Pete yawned and got out of bed, even though it looked like he wanted noting more than to go back to sleep.

Patrick was still getting that weird feeling when Pete was around. A part of him, though he tried to suppress it, wondered what it would be like if Pete _had_ kissed him. He didn't know why. He was straight, he shouldn't be so obsessed with Pete's strong shoulders and jaw or his voice or the way he looked at him, a sort of sad longing somewhere in his brown eyes.

"Patrick?" Pete asked.

"What?" Patrick said, head spinning from his own confusion,

"You're staring."

Patrick blushed and realized that he had been.

"S-sorry..."

Pete shrugged "it's fine, it's early. Just thought I'd let you know. Just thought I'd let you know. I'll get coffee and some toast going or something. Come out whenever."

He left and Patrick sighed. He kept wondering what it would be like to have Pete kiss him and hold him and... Well- a lot of other things a heterosexual male should _not_ be thinking about a guy he barely knew.

He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and got up as well, smoothing his hair and clothes with his hands as he walked out to meet Pete in the kitchen.

Pete's apartment was small but still nice. The front door lead into the living room that had a couch, TV, large window that overlooked the skyline, bookshelf, and several basses and an acoustic guitar on stands by the wall. The living room bordered the kitchen which was a simple fridge, counters, cupboard, dishwasher, and sink. Next to the kitchen was Pete's bedroom and bathroom. Patrick was envious of him for not having to live in a shitty college dorm.

Pete had his back to Patrick when he entered the kitchen and was humming quietly to himself, apparently unaware of Patrick being there. Patrick was content watching him in, what he hoped was, a non creepy way. Once Pete finished making coffee, he got a bottle of pills down from the topic the fridge. Patrick was tempted to ask what they were for but it was none of his business.

Patrick stayed watching him for a few more minutes before Pete turned and looked at him "you're staring again."

Patrick cursed silently and pretended not to care "just staring off into space, you got in the way."

"Nuh uh," Pete said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the counter "I saw your eyes following me."

He shrugged and hoped that Pete would drop it. He did and handed Patrick a coffee mug "milk and sugar are out if you want. I've got to make a call but come get me if you need anything."

He went into the bathroom to -Patrick assumed- get ready for whatever he had to do today, leaving Patrick alone and feeling very awkward in Pete's kitchen.

He ended up just leaning against the counter and drinking his coffee black and in silence. Pete was back in his room and talking to someone over the phone. Patrick didn't mean to be listening but he couldn't help but overhear Pete say goodbye and hang up the phone. The door was open so Patrick walked in without knocking. Pete was laying on his stomach on his bed, his eyes fixed on his laptop. He only stood there a second considering what to say before Pete rolled onto his side to look at him.

"You're _still_ staring. What's up?"

Patrick sighed, there was no point in hiding it. Pete probably already thought he was a creep for staring at him all day, the least he could do would be telling him why. He walked over and sat next to Pete who sat up and looked at him curiously.

"Just..." Patrick said, trying to hide his nervousness "really want to kiss you..."

Pete was surprised for a second but the look was quickly replaced by a smirk "no one's stopping you."

Patrick's heart was pounding as he leaned closer to the other man. Pete closed the distance between them and connected their lips.

It was absolutely surreal for Patrick. The way Pete's lips moved against his, they way Pete snaked his arms around him to bring him closer, the way Pete's stubble felt under his fingertips... He loved every second of it.

 

* * *

 

 

Pete was the one to pull away first, although he yearned to keep his lips on Patrick's. The younger man looked at him with wide eyes and said nothing, as if too stunned to speak.

"Patrick?" Pete asked nervously.

"I-I liked it..." Patrick muttered softly.

Pete laughed "I did too. Do you want to do it again?"

Patrick nodded so quickly that Pete had to catch his chin to kiss him again. The second time was just as good as the first, better even. This time, Patrick wasn't holding back. His fingers ran through Pete's hair and over his jaw as they kissed.

Pete pulled away again before things could go any farther and looked at Patrick "will you go out with me for real?"

Patrick hesitated. Apparently, he was still nervous about being with a guy.

"Pete, I..." He let out a breath "yes..." His reply was soft and nervous.

Pete kissed him again quickly, hoping to calm him and warm him up to the idea. It seemed to work because Patrick smiled.

"Do you want me to drop you off at your dorm?"

Patrick nodded for a second before shaking his head "I want to keep doing this..."

Pete chuckled at that "I'll tell you what, I'll drop you off but we can go out for lunch tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Patrick asked, although the idea was absolutely horrible.

"I'm really busy today. Sorry, 'Trick."

The nickname rolled off his tongue naturally and Patrick grinned when he heard it.

"Okay, tomorrow it is." His expression darkened and he dropped his eyes "what about Ava?"

"Your ex? Fuck her. She can't hurt you."

"B-but she can..."

Pete hugged him comfortingly "I'll deal with it. Can I get your roommate's number?"

Patrick nodded and showed him Joe's contact on his phone. Pete copied it into his own phone "okay, just don't worry about it."

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course, it's no problem."

Patrick hugged him tightly and Pete could feel him relax in his arms "thank you. Thank you so much."

"Yeah, I'll work things out with Joe and make sure you're okay."

Pete expected him to pull away but he stayed, head nuzzled into the crook of Pete's neck and arms tight around him.

"I promise that she won't hurt you anymore."

Patrick sighed and moved away "I know, I feel stupid for not seeing it sooner."

Pete stroked his hair absentmindedly "it's not your fault, she made you think that it was your fault even though it never was. She used you and she doesn't deserve you."

Pete was pretty sure that Patrick didn't see it that way but he would, he was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams* it finally happened!
> 
> Sorry I was gone for so long! I was traveling and had very little Internet. I'll be posting every Saturday again now.
> 
> Thanks for reading and leaving all your comments, they mean so much. Love you guys, see you next week.


	10. Don't Worry Your Head Just Go To Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete and Patrick are getting used to dating each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late. I fell asleep and completely forgot to post.

Pete did drop Patrick off like he had said. Joe was home when he walked in, and Patrick was already prepared for the explosion of questions Joe would have for him.

"Oh my god, Patrick!" Joe shouted as soon as he stepped foot into their dorm "how was it?"

"What?" Patrick asked, bewildered.

Joe patted him on the back "you know what, buddy! You and Ava go out for a date and you come back in the morning, I know what that means."

Patrick finally figured out what he meant and flopped down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling "Joe, Ava and I broke up. She got pissed and decided to leave me in the snow. I would have been there all night if Pete hadn't gotten me."

Joe's mood plummeted "o-oh, dude, I am _so_ sorry. But I really think it's for the best."

Patrick nodded but wouldn't look at Joe, mainly because he was scared if he did, he'd break down.

"Th-there's one more thing.... P-Pete and I are dating..."

"Wait.... Did you lose your virginity to Pete?!"

"Dude! No! Not everything is sexual!"

Joe sat down cross-legged next to Patrick "tell me everything."

"Well, um, so I wanted to kiss him, s-so I told him that I wanted to kiss him.... And th-then he told me to kiss him, and I d-did and yeah..."

"That's it?"

"Yes, Joe, nothing else happened."

"Are you sure he didn't feel you up or anything?"

Patrick actually jumped away in disgust, but not at the idea, just at the fact that Joe was bringing it up "Joe! No! Ew! We've only talked like three times!"

"So you should be to third base by now, it's common logic."

Patrick sighed "I hate you. I hate you so much. I hope you know that."

"You won't hate me when I help you get Pete to-"

Patrick gave up on the conversation at that point "I don't want to know!"

He went into the bathroom to shower, leaving Joe to laugh at the situation.

 

When Patrick got out of the shower, he could hear Joe having a muffled conversation through the door. He stepped out quietly, hoping he could overhear some of it.

"I'll make sure he's safe, don't worry."

He was on the phone with someone but Patrick couldn't tell who.

"Yeah, I don't think he will see her again but I'll keep an eye out. Thanks, and nice to meet you."

He hung up and Patrick had a suspicion that it was Pete Joe was talking to.

Joe turned to him "hey, your boyfriend called," he said with a smirk.

Patrick wasn't sure if he liked Pete being called his "boyfriend" or not. It just felt weird. Especially since he had been dating Ava only a few hours ago. He should be crying and eating ice cream but he really just felt relieved. And he liked being with Pete. He liked talking to him and spending time with him and he _really_ liked kissing him.

"Okay, what did he say?" Patrick said, ignoring the kind-of-sick kind-of-giddy feeling in his stomach.

"Just what happened last night and stuff."

"You like him?" Patrick asked, trying to keep the conversation away from Ava.

"Yeah, I never thought that you'd date anyone important, never mind Pete Wentz."

Patrick was taken aback "what?"

"Do you not know who he is?" Joe asked, surprised.

"N-no... Should I?"

"Google him, you'll see what I mean."

Patrick was really nervous. What if Pete was a bank robber or a murderer or something? He knew it was probably nothing but still.

He got out his phone and typed out his boyfriend's name into the search bar. As soon as he hit 'search' a list of articles and webpages came up.

He clicked the first one, hoping it wouldn't be anything bad.

_Pete Wentz, Chicago musician and stage personality, is known not only for his powerfully written lyrics and music but also his life in the bedroom department. Being one of the only publicly bisexual musicians in the area, it is no surprise that he has had many partners in only the few years in the short time he's been performing. He is yet to tell us of a long-time partner but has had plenty of flings to make up for it. This along with-"_

Patrick closed his phone and felt like he couldn't breathe. Pete had seemed so nice. Was he really just a fling to him?

As he thought that, his phone lit up with a text.

Pete: Hey Trick, everything good?"

His hands actually trembled as he hit the call button instead of texting back.

"Patrick? You okay?" Pete asked concernedly as soon as he picked up.

"I-I know you said not to worry about how media shows you but-"

"Babe, listen to me, that's not who I am with you. I slept around when I was single but not now. I really like you and I won't hurt you."

Patrick took a deep breath, trying to calm down "okay, okay I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten upset."

"It's okay, I would have too. But I'm not like that now, media just won't let it go."

"I understand," Patrick laid down on the couch, phone tucked under his face so he could still talk to Pete.

"So how much do you know?..." Pete's voice sounded tight and worried.

"Um, that you slept around and haven't had a real partner in a while. I didn't read the whole thing."

"L-look, I know it's a weird request but can you try to not read anything else about me? It's not that I don't want you to know but I want to tell you myself when the time is right."

"Okay... Is it something bad?..."

"Don't worry, I made a really bad decisions a while ago but it won't happen again. I just don't want you finding out from some magazine."

"I get it, but are you okay?"

"Just peachy, I promise."

Pete's joking tone made Patrick more comfortable. He knew there was a lot about Pete that he didn't know but he wanted to know it. Even if it would make him upset, he wanted to know who Pete really was.

"Good, we're still going out tomorrow?"

"If that works for you, yeah. I can pick you up if you want."

"I don't have a car so that would be great."

"Okay, I have to get back to practicing but I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay, bye."

"Bye, sweetheart."

Patrick smiled in relief. He knew Pete wouldn't hurt him but he was still worried, but talking to him about it put him at ease.

 

* * *

 

 

Pete put his phone back into his pocket and sighed. He knew Patrick would find out eventually. He didn't seem to care all the much about the sleeping around part but the suicide... He would care about that. He'd freak out and probably cry and Pete didn't want to put him through that, but he'd find out eventually. It was better that he tell him and hopefully he wouldn't be too upset.

He looked back at the journal on his lap and the scribbled lyrics. He was trying to write again and had actually gotten somewhere.

_I'll keep my jealousy close,_   
_'Cause it's all mine,_   
_And if you say this makes you happy,_   
_Then I'm not the only one lying,_

It wasn't much really but it was all he had. He had had the idea when Patrick was still thinking about going back to Ava. It kind of hurt to think about him being with her; he didn't deserve that, no one did.

He couldn't figure out any lines past that though. He'd been working almost an hour and couldn't think of anything good. He'd probably ask Andy or maybe even Joe or even Patrick.

He gave up and closed the book. He left his apartment and knocked on the door of Andy's -journal tucked under his arm- in hopes that his friend could give him some sort of inspiration. Andy opened the door and Pete was hit with the immediate smell of food cooking.

"Andy! What's for lunch?" He said, stepping past Andy and into the apartment.

"Nice to see you too, Pete. Oh I'm great, thanks for asking." He replied with a grin.

"Oh, yeah, hi. I'm hungry, please feed me."

"I'm making stir fry, you can just wait on the-"

"Can I help?" Pete interrupted. Andy always lifted his mood, so did food; Andy plus food was just a great combination in Pete's opinion.

"Oh, um, I'm not sure that's a good idea." Andy said, knowing Pete was far too impulsive to cook.

"Please? I'll listen, I promise." Pete begged with big, brown puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, fine." Andy said reluctantly "but you have to do what I tell you."

"I will!" Pete grinned and followed Andy into the kitchen.

"Okay, so it's cooking right now. I'm going to get out some bread, can you just watch and stir it?"

Pete nodded and did as he was told, journal discarded on Andy's couch.

 

"You didn't burn it!" Andy exclaimed once they started eating.

"I didn't! Aren't you proud?"

"Very proud, good job."

Pete was almost half way through lunch before he even remembered why he came.

"Oh, I need to ask you something," he gave Andy the journal "I'm stuck, can you think of a chorus to come after this?"

Andy shook his head after a few minutes "no, sorry, but I'll think about it more and get back to you."

"Okay, thanks for trying."

"Anytime, buddy. Isn't Patrick a musician? Could you ask him?"

Pete had told Andy about Patrick that morning after dropping him off.

"He hates lyrics but it's worth a shot. I'll ask him tomorrow."

"You're seeing him again tomorrow?"

"Yeah, he suggested today but I don't want to take over his life or anything. Apparently, he _really_ likes this."

Pete smiled at the memory of just how happy Patrick had been once he opened up to the idea.

"That's great, glad you guys worked out."

"Me too, really glad. We didn't work as friends, I was trying but it was just too weird."

"I totally get that, yeah."

Pete and Andy took their now empty plates out to the kitchen as they talked "yeah. You can definitely meet him soon. Maybe you can have us over for dinner?"

Andy rolled his eyes "sure, although you don't usually invite yourself to people's houses."

"Aw, c'mon, I'm family."

"That you are, Pete, like an annoying little brother."

"Yep, that's me. But you love me."

Andy washed his hands and flicked water at Pete "sure, whatever."

Pete kicked him playfully "you do, I know you do."

 

* * *

 

 

"Patrick!" Joe yelled from the kitchen.

"What?" He mumbled from the couch where he was half awake and half focused on the television.

"Well, seeing as I've been banned from cooking, please come make me food."

Patrick groaned and sat up slowly "I'm trying to sleep."

"What? Didn't get much sleeping done last night with your rockstar boyfriend?"

"I hate you so much," Patrick said as he stumbled tiredly into the kitchen "you're horrible."

"Just messing with you. You can sleep after lunch."

Patrick yawned and stretched "it's okay, I'm not all that tired anyway."

"Okay," Joe said, already looking through their fridge for food "now feed me."

"You're so demanding," he said, pushing Joe out of the way with his hip so he could get into the fridge "what do you want?"

"What do we have?"

Patrick took a second to look through their food "pretty sure there's a box of pasta in the cupboard if you want to split that."

Joe nodded and Patrick got the box down "you can hang out in here, just please don't burn yourself or the food."

"I've got nothing else to do so why not. So you're bi?"

Patrick didn't really like the topic but he couldn't avoid it forever "I don't know, I guess so. I just spent my whole like thinking I was straight and that being bi is wrong, it's a big change."

"I understand, that's gotta be tough. But you like Pete?"

"Yeah, a lot."

"Then don't worry about labeling yourself. If you like him, you like him, leave it at that for now and maybe after a while you'll figure it out."

"Thanks," he said and hugged Joe once he had the water boiling "that makes sense."

"I know, I'm a genius."

 

* * *

 

 

An hour later, Andy and Pete were watching TV on in Andy's living room.

"Is your manager okay with Patrick?"

Pete shrugged and looked at him "haven't told him yet, he should be though. Clyde doesn't like the 'bad boy' type but, um, that's really not Patrick." Pete chuckled at the understatement.

"Are you just crashing here until dinner?"

"Something like that. You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all, I like the company."

Pete smiled "yeah, me too. Thanks for feeding me."

Andy couldn't help but laugh "yeah well, couldn't let you live off ramen noodles forever."

"And Starbucks, don't forget Starbucks." Pete added.

"With you around, I can never forget Starbucks."

 

* * *

 

 

Patrick walked with Joe across the campus with no destination in mind. Patrick knew the entire campus well, he always walked when he needed to clear his mind. The snow had melted by now and left everything with a crisp dampness about it.

"Are we going to the cafeteria for cereal again for dinner?" Joe asked.

"Probably, there's no food."

Joe kicked a pebble as they walked "we should buy food."

Patrick glared half-heartedly at him "I'd love that, but we're broke."

"Can't you be a stripper? You're pretty enough."

Patrick pushed him lightly "I am _not_ stripping to pay for college."

"Fine, then ask your rockstar sugar-daddy boyfriend."

"I hate you."

"Can he take us out for dinner?"

"Me? maybe. You're not invited on my date."

"I can hide in your purse." Joe suggested.

"I don't _have_ a purse."

"Because you haven't asked Pete for money yet!"

Patrick just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"I don't think he's _that_ rich, I've seen his apartment."

Joe grinned and raised his eyebrows. Patrick had walked into that one.

"Oh yeah, forgot you slept with him last night."

"I didn't-! Well, er, kind of but- not like that!" Patrick stammered.

"You don't even need my help! Clearly you're doing just fine by yourself!"

Patrick huffed in annoyance and turned them towards the cafeteria. He was hoping that they could go to bed early because of his late night.

"Okay," Joe said after his laughter faded "okay, I'm done. But you will tell me when it _does_ happen?"

Patrick frowned and looked at the ground as they walked "I don't know if it will, Joe. I mean, I a... You know... A-a virgin... That would be a big deal."

Joe nodded understandingly "sorry, I get that. It's not like you have to, I just assume that you and Pete are going to be together a long time so..."

Patrick's stomach twisted "we'll probably break up..."

Joe put his arm around him "you don't know that, maybe not. And even if you do, enjoy it while you have it. You've got a good thing. Pete really cares about you, you know that?"

Patrick nodded and sighed "I know, I'm trying not to think about it."

"Why's that?"

"I don't deserve him. Hell, he should hate me for what I said."

Joe pursed his lips "you were wrong, but you learned; no one is mad at you for it."

"But you should be mad..."

"Not true. I know you think that but you're young, Pat, you're still learning. The important thing is that you're with someone good now and you knew that you were wrong before."

Patrick knew he was right but he still felt bad. He didn't ever want to break up with Pete. He liked the feeling being around him have him. He didn't even mind Joe's constant pestering.

"You're right, but still."

"We all feel like we're horrible people, that's what makes the world just so fucking shitty. But we learn to accept that and move on with our lives, don't waist your future worrying about your past."

"Deep words, Trohman."

Joe just shrugged "I'm quite wise, Stumpy,"

Patrick groaned "why must you call me that?"

"Because I enjoy your reaction."

Patrick raised his eyebrows at that.

"And what's that?"

"You get annoyed and it brings me pleasure."

Patrick stuck out his tongue and pushed Joe, who narrowly saved himself from falling into the bushes that lined the sidewalk.

Patrick laughed and took Joe's arm to steady him. Joe glared at him for a second before bursting into a laugh as well. Patrick kept his fingers curled around Joe's arm for several minutes before they passed a group of guys who Patrick recognized as some of Ava's friends.

"Yo, guys! Isn't that the guy who broke up with Ava?" Patrick hid his face in Joe's shoulder who shot a glare that could kill at the group.

"Looks like he was a fucking homo anyway!" The whole group laughed and Patrick felt like crying. Not because of the insult, but because it was true: well, kind of.

"Fuck you, asshole!" Joe called back and Patrick whimpered, begging him to stop.

"Aw," one of the guys cooed "standing up for your little boyfriend?"

"No, I'm standing up for my best friend, you fucking piece of shit! I hope you get an STD from your stoner girlfriends, and tell Ava to go fuck herself because no one else will!"

The laugher stopped for a second. It seemed that Joe's words had had an affect on them. After that, the jeers started again but Joe had already pulled Patrick out of earshot. A slight smile pulled at Joe's lips, he had had the last laugh there.

 

* * *

 

 

Pete opened his eyes slowly to find his head resting on Andy's shoulder. Andy was asleep and the only sound was the quiet sound from the TV. The clock on the wall read a little after 8:00 and Pete was getting hungry. He didn't want to wake Andy though.

He shifted away from him slowly so as not to wake him and stood. He could always order pizza or jut get a bowl of cereal or something back at his place.

Andy didn't stir when Pete got up nor when he slipped out of the door and into the hall. His eyes were still heavy from sleeping and he yearned to collapse in his bed but he did need to eat.

He went straight into his kitchen once he got into his apartment and looked around for something to eat. Most of the food in his fridge required preparation so he settled on grabbing an apple out of the bowl. He barely had the energy to stand as he ate and he realized just how sleep deprived he was. He'd always be tired but just couldn't get to sleep, he didn't understand it.

Once he finished his "dinner", he stumbled around his house trying to get ready for bed. He successfully changed his pants and brushed his teeth but forgot to turn off all the lights and change his shirt, but close enough.

Despite being too exhausted to move at this point, Pete couldn't sleep. He laid awake and stared at the ceiling for almost an hour before he pulled out his phone and texted the only person besides Andy -who he assumed was still asleep- that he felt like talking to.

**Pete: hey Trick, still up?**

He waited a few minutes and almost just assumed that Patrick was asleep but his phone buzzed just before he put it down.

**Patrick: yeah, I'm walking back home with Joe. What's up?**

**Pete: can't sleep**

**Patrick: something wrong?**

Pete sighed, he didn't know the answer to that.

**Pete: it doesn't matter, how's your day been?**

**Patrick: it matters. Talk to me**

**Pete: just can't sleep is all. Don't worry. I have sleeping problems and sometimes I think too much when it happens, so I'm texting you to get my mind off it. I promise I'm okay**

**Patrick: promise? I can be there in 10 minutes of you want**

He suddenly felt bad for making Patrick worry, the other man had enough on his plate without worrying about his loser boyfriend's problems.

**Pete: I promise, babe, I'm fine**

**Patrick: the offer stands for tonight and any other night. If you ever need company, just call me**

He tried to lighten the mood some.

**Pete: I always want your company**

**Patrick: don't think you can flirt your way out of this, mister**

**Pete: worth a shot**

**Patrick: buy me a purse**

Pete furrowed his eyebrows and thought for a second about how to reply.

**Pete: are you drunk or something?**

**Patrick: Joe stole my fucking phone! That wasn't me I swear!**

Pete laughed out loud and curled up further under the blankets.

**Pete: hi Joe**

**Patrick: Joe says hi**

**Pete: so I can see you again tomorrow?**

**Patrick: yes, can't wait**

**Pete: can we have a real Starbucks date?**

**Patrick: you really like Starbucks, don't you?**

**Pete: you didn't answer my question**

**Patrick: yes yes, fine**

**Pete: thank god! I can't wait!**

**Patrick: I sometimes wonder if you like me or coffee more**

**Pete: please don't make me choose**

**Patrick: I swear to god, Pete**

**Pete: I mean, you're really cute and funny and you give really nice kisses but have you HAD their caramel frappachino?**

**Patrick: I've been replaced by a fucking coffee**

**Pete: that's not true, cutie. I can do a lot of things with you that I can't do with a coffee**

As soon as he sent it, he realized that it was a horrible way to put it and he quickly sent a follow up text.

**Pete: not like that! Sorry, shitty phrasing**

**Patrick: haha, I get it. I figured you weren't serious. Besides, that would hurt**

**Pete: are we talking about the same thing?**

**Patrick: depends on what you're thinking. I'm just thinking that that would leave some painful burns**

**Pete: you're seriously talking about fucking a coffee?**

This was probably the most risqué he'd seen Patrick, that was sad.

**Patrick: is that not what you were thinking?**

**Pete: it was, I've just never heard you talk about sex before**

**Patrick: that's because Patrick is taking a shower, this is Joe again**

Pete hoped Joe didn't take Patrick's phone too much, that could be awkward.

**Pete: hello again Joe**

**Patrick: hey bro**

**Pete: you should probably stop taking his phone while he's texting his boyfriend, for future reference**

**Patrick: it's not like you'd be talking about anything bad, Patrick is really slow with that**

**Pete: still. And what do you mean by that?**

**Patrick: I don't think he'd want me to tell you but he just doesn't want to take things too fast**

He understood that whatever Joe was talking about must be a personal subject for Patrick and therefore not his place to say it but he was curious.

**Pete: will he be out soon?**

**Patrick: of the closet or the shower?**

**Pete: the shower. I'd like to talk to my boyfriend**

Joe took a second to reply.

**Patrick: a word of advise, NEVER walk in on Patrick in the shower. I tried to ask him how long he'd be and he threw the soap at me**

Pete couldn't help but think about what Patrick must look like right now. He hated himself for think about it but just holy shit. He was all smooth curves and pale skin and Pete wanted to see him without the thick layers of clothes he thought he needed. His imagination was racing by now; and going to all the wrong places. He actually got so distracted by images and fantasies that he forgot to reply until his phone buzzed again in his hand.

**Patrick: I'm so sorry about Joe. It's me again. So you're just laying in bed?**

Pete bit his lip at the heat in his stomach. He knew that he shouldn't be the effected just the idea of Patrick in the shower but he was. He rolled over and tried to ignore the way his pants felt tighter than before.

**Pete: yeah, fucking bored. But can I ask you something personal?**

**Patrick: oh no, what did Joe say?**

**Pete: nothing bad, just got me thinking. Ava's the only other person you've dated, right?**

**Patrick: yeah**

His reply was short but Pete could tell that behind the screen, he was probably freaking out and nervous.

**Pete: I don't know a better way to say that but are you a virgin?**

He could have punched himself for putting it like that. There was a right way to ask that and it wasn't that.

**Patrick: will you be mad if I say yes?**

The reply didn't surprise Pete, he felt really privileged actually. He hoped he would be Patrick's first.

**Pete: not at all!**

**Patrick: yeah, I am. I didn't trust Ava enough**

**Pete: it's for the best. It should be with someone you trust**

**Patrick: so you won't mind taking things slowly?**

**Pete: of course not, sweetheart. Take all the time you need**

**Patrick: oh my god, that's such a relief**

Pete's eyelids were getting heavy again but he ignored it this time.

**Pete: were you worried?**

**Patrick: a little...**

**Pete: tell me if you're nervous, I don't want to scare you**

**Patrick: I know you don't, and you won't. I just... I don't know how to say it but I do trust you**

**Pete: I think I know what you mean**

**Patrick: thank you, Pete**

**Pete: is Joe still reading your texts?**

**Patrick: of course not, he's in bed now. Why?**

**Pete: I haven't dated anyone in over a year. It's really sad**

**Patrick: not really. At least you're not a virgin at 18**

**Pete: come on, baby, don't be so hard on yourself. You're taking your time is all**

**Patrick: that's just a nice way of saying I'm scared. Plus I don't even really know how it works**

**Pete: have you never watched porn or anything?**

**Patrick: not really... And never with two guys**

Pete remembered being fourteen and so confused by everything so he understood. Like seriously, no parent tells their son to fuck a guy and it's sad.

**Pete: just watch it so that you understand. I don't want to have that talk with you**

**Patrick: thanks, that would be really awkward. I'll try that eventually**

Pete yawned and felt his eyelids growing heavy.

**Pete: have fun ;)**

**Patrick: you're horrible. Really, you are**

**Pete: I know, it's one of the many things you love about me**

**Patrick: whatever helps you sleep at night**

By the time that text came in, Pete didn't have the energy to keep his eyes open and was drifting off into a peaceful sleep. The only movement in his apartment was his phone lighting up after a few minutes.

**Patrick: Pete?**

**Patrick: did you fall asleep?**

**Patrick: goodnight Pete. Sweet dreams**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, sorry this is late. Thanks for reading! Remember to keep leaving comments and kudos to show me if you like it. And don't be shy to leave constructive critisism, I won't be upset. Anyway, love you and see you next week!


	11. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have a ton of fluff. Yeah that's all this is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was late. I was busy with finals.

_"How was school today?" The warm voice of Patrick's grandmother said. Patrick held his thumb between the pages of his book to mark his place and looked at her from the passenger seat of the family car._

_"It was alright. There's a new kid who started today."_

_"Oh really? Do you like him?"_

_Patrick shrugged, not really wanting to talk and impatient to continue his book "don't really know him. All the girls think he's cute."_

_She chuckled "aren't you a little young for that, sweety? You aren't even eleven yet."_

_Patrick reopened his book and was no longer paying attention to what he said "no, he is cute."_

_Her mood changed in an instant "Patrick! You can't say things like that!"_

_He kept his eyes down but was no longer reading "I-I mean he's-"_

_"People will get the wrong idea if you say things like that. They might think you're gay!"_

_Patrick closed the book and looked at her, curiosity not stronger than fear "what does 'gay' mean?"_

_"Well, honey, it's someone who thinks they like the same gender. So a boy who says he likes boys, or a girl who says she likes girls. Those people are just confused though."_

_"Oh," Patrick said softly "right. Boys don't like boys. Got it."_

 

"Come on, get up. Time for us to get to class." Patrick woke up to the sound of Joe's voice. It took him a second to separate what was real versus a memory. He had almost forgotten that conversation even happened but his subconscious resurfaced it in the form of a dream.

"M'kay, thanks for waking me..." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"No problem, bad dream?"

Patrick nodded and sat up stiffly "yeah, how'd you know?"

"Look at your hands."

He looked down and saw four half-moons engraved into his palms from his fingernails digging into them in his sleep. "Wow... That bad?"

Joe nodded and threw some clean clothes at Patrick "want to talk about it?"

Patrick gathered the clothes and went into the bathroom to change, talking to Joe through the door "just a weird memory. I never thought about it but I think the reason I was so anti-gay was my grandmother. She never really talked about it except for once when I was ten or something. I guess it just got into my head."

He came back out fully clothed and saw Joe getting his guitar into its case "that makes sense." He said "because your parents are fine with it."

"Oh my god," Patrick said, feeling like someone just punched him in the stomach "I'll have to tell them about Pete."

"They'll be happy for you, don't worry." Patrick put his music journal into his bag and adjusted his fedora to hide his messy hair "but-"

Joe cut him off "shut up, they'll be happy that you're happy now. But forget about it, we need to get to class."

Patrick sighed an followed him out the door. It wasn't that he thought his parents would be upset, but telling them would mean accepting that he was wrong and a dick before, something you don't ever want to have to tell your parents.

Frost covered the windshield of Joe's car and the dark haired man had to wait several minutes for it to defrost in order to drive. The morning would have been peaceful and quiet, were it not for Misery Business playing loudly through the speakers as they drove. Neither said anything out of pure tiredness; Joe was focused on the road ahead and Patrick on his phone. He scrolled through his emails until a message from Pete appeared on his screen.

**Pete: sorry, I fell asleep**

**Patrick: I figured. Sleep well?**

**Pete: alright. I slept better when you were with me though ;)**

Joe looked over at Patrick and smiled "how's Pete?"

"Uh, oh; he's good, flirty."

"Aw!" He squealed "what'd he say?"

Patrick blushed and turned his phone so Joe couldn't see "n-nothing!"

Joe grabbed his phone anyway and glanced at the conversation, much to Patrick's dismay. "Pete wants to sleep with you!"

Patrick looked out the window to hide a blush "shuddup, he's kidding..."

"Is not, is not, is not! He wants to fuck you so bad!"

That sent some vivid images into Patrick's mind. "Joe! Give me back my phone!"

Joe parked the car and got out, still holding his phone. "Nope, I'm good. Now I have to get to my class, drive yourself to yours. See you in an hour!"

"Joe!" Patrick squealed but knew he'd be late if he tried to follow Joe Joe turned to face him

"Come on, Patty. This'll be fun, I swear."

* * *

 

Pete was pouring coffee when the text came in.

**Patrick: and what would you have done if I was there?**

He blinked a few times and reread the text. He must have misinterpreted it. Was Patrick really saying that?

**Pete: Joe? Is that you?**

**Patrick: of course not, baby. Joe is in class**

**Pete: are you okay?**

**Patrick: yeah, but I'm soooo lonely. I'm just laying all alone in my bed and thinking about you**

**Pete: what's gotten into you?**

**Patrick: you, hopefully**

That sent some far-from-innocent thoughts running through Pete's head and then straight to his pants.

**Pete: you're serious?**

**Patrick: as a heart attack, babe. I've got my hand down my pants just thinking about you and your lips and body and just all of you**

**Pete really wasn't one for sexing but, apparently, Patrick was. He didn't want to say anything too damning though, still not sure Patrick was serious.**

**Pete: someone's in a mood**

**Patrick: come on, baby, give me something to get off to**

Pete bit his lip and sat down on his couch.

**Pete: what do you want?**

**Patrick: you fucking my mouth would be nice**

The idea of Patrick's soft lips and mouth around his dick was enough to drive him crazy. Not that he hadn't thought about it, but the fact that Patrick had too made it feel so much more real.

**Pete: and here I was, thinking you were an innocent little virgin**

**Patrick: I wanted to surprise you so I told you I was a virgin, but I didn't know how hard it would be to wait**

**Pete: so you aren't a virgin?**

He was surprised, Patrick really seemed nervous the night before. This was a side of Patrick he'd never seen before, not even close. He actually wasn't quite sure he liked it it.

**Patrick: course not. Have you seen my ass? Me being a virgin would be a crime to every guy in Illinois**

**Pete: you're right about that. I envy all those other guys now**

**Patrick: why? I'm all yours now**

**Pete: well I certainly am a lucky man then**

**Patrick: I'll show you just how lucky this afternoon**

**Pete: how am I supposed to wait?**

**Patrick: you'll just have to come up with some sort of solution, won't you?**

Pete was getting a little turned on by all of this. Of course, he'd had people text him _way_ more obscene things but this was Patrick.

**Pete: it's only a few more hours. Surely, I'll live**

Patrick didn't reply after that and Pete was very disappointed. The whole thing made very little sense and he didn't know how to react. It just felt... off to him. Like something was going on he didn't know about.

* * *

 

"Joe!" Patrick called as he pulled up outside the building where he had dropped Joe off before "give me back my fricken' phone!"

Joe laughed and got into the passenger seat "uh, about that. I was texting Pete during class and the professor took it so..."

"Joe!" Patrick shrieked, because A: what the hell had Joe told Pete; and B: now he didn't have a phone.

"When do I get it back?!"

"I can pick it up at noon. So during your date I'll go get it." He drew out the word 'date' and Patrick groaned.

"What did you say?"

Joe smirked in a way that made Patrick want to push him out of the moving car "nothing too bad. But he might be a little confused."

Patrick gave up, deciding that no matter what he said, what was done was done. "Why do you want me to suffer?"

"Oh, Patty, you will _not_ be suffering after this. Pure ecstasy, more like."

Patrick glared at him "you didn't..."

Joe just grinned back smugly "you'll find out on your date!"

 

"Joe, c-can I talk to you?..." Patrick asked softly.

Joe was sitting on the couch, reading some magazine on his phone. "Sure. What's up?" He said, locking his phone.

He moved over so Patrick could sit with him, but the shorter man just stood uncomfortably. "Could you n-not pester me about sex and stuff?... I just... I'm really not comfortable talking about it like that..."

Joe stood up and hugged his friend "of course. I was only kidding around but if it makes you uncomfortable of course I'll stop."

Patrick let out a relived sigh "thank you."

"Sure thing. Now shouldn't you be getting ready for your date?"

Patrick looked at him, confused "I am ready..?"

Joe shook his head "nope, come on. I'm giving you a makeover."

 

By the time Joe had completely redone Patrick's clothes and hair, he looked amazing. Glasses were replaced with contacts, brownish-orange hair was pushed back so it no longer fell into his eyes. The blue sweater and baggy jeans were replaced with a white v-neck, black leather jacket, and black skinny jeans. Even Patrick had to admit he looked good, for him at least.

"You can thank me later." Joe said as he fixed Patrick's hair for the fortieth time.

"Okay, thank you." Patrick said, glancing out the window to check if Pete was there yet.

"It's not later yet, dummy. And chill, he won't be here for another ten minutes. Excited?" Patrick nodded and smiled.

Joe just chuckled in reply. Patrick paced around for the next fifteen minutes; putting things away just to pass the time.

 

When Pete actually pulled up outside, the entire living room had been organized.

"How do I look?" Patrick stammered, one hand on the door.

"Great, now go meet your boyfriend." Joe called back and pushed him outside gently.

"Okay! Bye, Joe!" Joe waved from the doorway and watched Patrick meet Pete in his car

"Bye! Have fun!"

* * *

 

As soon as Patrick stepped out the door, Pete noticed that he looked drop-dead gorgeous. He always looked great but today just.... Damn.

"Hey, Pete." He said once he walked to the car and got in.

"Hey yourself, beautiful." He replied. He knew it was cheesy but it made Patrick blush like crazy so it achieved exactly what Pete wanted.

"So... Coffee?"

Pete nodded and started driving. His mind wandered to their text conversation earlier. He glanced at Patrick again and his mouth practically started watering. Everything he was wearing fit in in all the right ways.

Pete only got brought back to reality when Patrick giggled "who's staring now?"

Pete looked back to the road and chucked softly "oh, nothing. You just look good."

That caused Patrick to blush again. Was this really the same boy who had been jerking off and sexting him just a few hours ago?

 

Once they parked outside the Starbucks, Pete leaned over and kissed Patrick, who kissed back without hesitation. Snapshots of their earlier conversation flashed through Pete's mind and he instinctively kissed him more passionately and a little rougher.

To Pete's surprise, Patrick jerked away, almost falling out of the car as he did.

"I-I'm sorry... Too fast?..."

Patrick nodded and looked away shyly. Pete got out of the car and walked to the passenger side, putting his arms around the younger man.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm really sorry. I just thought... I mean, after what you were saying this afternoon..."

Patrick's head shot up "I-I texted you this afternoon?..."

Pete looked at him, perplexed "yeah... Don't you remember?..."

He went pale and shook his head "Joe, t-took my phone..."

Pete suddenly realized what had happened. He was going to kill Joe

"Fuck. Oh my god. Patrick, I'm so sorry, I-"

"It's alright," Patrick interjected "just... Can we please take things slower, like, _way_ slower?..."

Pete nodded "whatever you want, 'Trick."

Patrick smiled and got out of the car "th-thank you."

Pete didn't want Patrick to see what that conversation had been about. He hadn't actually said anything very graphic, but had more just played along. But he worried it Patrick saw it he would think Pete wanted that from him.

"Can I see your phone?"

Patrick shook his head "Joe got it confiscated, so no." Pete pulled out his phone as they walked inside and texted Joe.

**Pete: stop stealing Patrick's phone! Seriously dude, you freaked Patrick the fuck out. And PLEASE delete that conversation, I don't want him to feel pressured into that.**

"Can I pay this time?" Patrick asked as they got into line to order.

"Nope." Pete replied, sliding his phone back into his pocket "maybe next time, sugar."

Patrick crossed his arms "you paid last time! And I seriously owe you for everything you did for me."

"You're broke though!"

Patrick giggled softly and, damn, it had to be illegal to be that cute "I am, but I'll pay anyway."

"Patrick, no."

"Pete, yes." Patrick said, doing his best to look defiant. After a second, he just ended up giggling again "fine, you win, but only because people are looking at us weird."

* * *

 

 

Patrick barely noticed but before long, they had been at Starbucks for an hour. Their coffees and sandwiches were long gone but the shop wasn't busy so no one asked them to leave. Patrick glanced at his watch and sighed, not wanting to go back home yet. "Pete, we should probably get going..."

Pete nodded and stood "true. Doing anything this evening?"

A smile played across Patrick's lips "nope, nothing."

Pete put his arm around him as they walked out "want to go back to my place then?"

He nodded in reply and got back into Pete's car.

"Okay," Pete said, getting into the other side "sounds good."

Patrick looked at him and considered whether or not to say what he was thinking. He decided that it was worth a shot. "Can I ask you something?..."

Their eyes met for a second "of course. Is everything okay?"

"H-how do you come out?..."

Pete thought for a minute "it's up to you. You could make a big deal about it or just bring it up casually. Whatever feels right to you."

"I want to tell my parents at Christmas, just not sure how."

Pete put his hand on Patrick's leg to calm him "want me to be there when you do? I can help you if you want."

He nodded "y-yes please..."

"I know it's scary. Are they... Do they have the same opinions you used to have?"

Patrick shook his head "that's why I don't understand why I'm nervous."

"Everyone's nervous at first. Don't worry."

"We're you nervous?" Patrick asked, unable to picture a nervous Pete.

"Terrified."

Patrick calmed as he stopped focusing on the negatives "who did you first tell?"

"My friend Andy when we were in high school. I was coughing pretty bad one day and he asked if I wanted some sort of hard candy to suck on because, y'know, helps with sore throats or something but that's not the point. Anyway I told him that I'd rather have a hard cock to suck on."

Patrick laughed "oh my god!" He said, covering his red face "well I know how I'm not coming out!"

"It didn't seem like something you'd do. Me, on the other hand, fuck it."

"More like fuck _everyone_."

Pete laughed and got out of the car once they were parked outside his apartment "that too."

Patrick followed him inside and looked around. The apartment wasn't the nicest place in town but wasn't bad either.

Pete stopped in front of what Patrick assumed was his door and turned back to him "there's someone I want you to meet. Is that okay?"

Patrick realized that the door Pete was in front of was on the wrong side of the hallway. He nodded and tried not to look as anxious as he felt. Pete knocked on the door and Patrick bit his lip as he heard foot steps on the other side.

The door opened and a man a little taller than Pete stood in the doorway. His appearance didn't make Patrick any less nervous; he was covered from head to toe in tattoos and had a messy beard almost down to his collar.

"Hey, Pete!" He said cheerfully in a voice that definitely did not match his intimating appearance.

"Heya, Andy." Pete greeted "so, uh, this is Patrick. Patrick, this is Andy."

 

An hour later, Patrick was no longer nervous of Andy in the slightest. He had decided that despite that he looked like he might kill you, he was an absolute sweetheart. They were all crowded onto Andy's couch and talking. There was barely room for all three of them so Pete had pulled Patrick's legs onto his lap, his hands on the smaller man's thighs. Patrick was constantly all-too aware of the way Pete's hands kept moving and slipping between his legs, clearly unaware of the way his gentle squeezes and touches made Patrick feel weak. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling, but he was in no means used to it and it made him nervous because he didn't know what it meant.

"You're, what, eighteen?" And asked Patrick from his side of the sofa.

"Nineteen. I turn twenty in April."

"Yeah?" Pete piped in, finally taking his attention off moving his hands in ways that was giving Patrick goosebumps "what are you going to do for your birthday?"

Patrick shrugged "I don't really do anything."

"Not this year! You're not going to be a teenager anymore! Twenty years on planet earth is a big deal!" Andy said.

Patrick just rolled his eyes and rested his head against Pete's chest "whatever, I can't stop you. But you don't have to do anything."

"Yes we do!" Pete said, running his fingers through Patrick's dark hair "like Andy said, it's a big deal."

Patrick huffed softly in reply and closed his eyes. The feeling that being around Pete gave him was unlike anything he'd ever felt. He wanted nothing more than to just stay cuddled up with him like that forever. He could hear Pete's heart beating and feel his chest vibrate slightly as he talked with Andy. Patrick actually didn't know what they were talking about because he was counting the rises and falls of Pete's chest as he breathed.

"I like him, he's-" four breaths.

"He is. You're lucky to have-" seven breaths.

"I am. I'm really ha-" nine breaths.

"Is he asleep?-" ten breaths.

"I don't know. Are-" twelves breaths.

"Oh my god. He is-" fourteen breaths. "Goodnight, beautiful. Sleep we-"

seventeen breaths. Patrick took a moment to register that, oh, he had almost fallen asleep on Pete.

He lifted his head slowly and opened his eyes "not asleep..."

Pete picked him up, causing him to squeak in surprise "come on. Let's go watch a movie and sleep."

Patrick mumbled something but he didn't even know what it was and curled up a little in Pete's arms. He could still feel Pete's breath but no longer had the mental capacity to count and fell completely asleep before Pete even got out Andy's door.

* * *

 

Pete laid awake in his bed, arms around Patrick's sleeping body. He couldn't sleep so he just watched Patrick's slow breaths and little movements. He had never noticed before but Patrick talked in his sleep. Not the annoying kind that keeps you awake but just cute little mumbles and noises. He found himself listening and smiling widely whenever he hears Patrick mumble Pete's name softly and cuddle closer to him. He wondered what Patrick was dreaming about and hoped it was a good dream. It was weird, he thought to himself, to be thinking about happy things while he laid awake; a nice change from his usual boarder-line suicidal thoughts.

Maybe it was that he wasn't so alone anymore, or maybe it was just that Patrick was with him; either way, he wouldn't give it up for the world. Maybe that was what love was; needing someone and not ever knowing why. Just _needing_ everything about them all the time. Pete knew that it was immature to think about love after only a couple days, but even though maybe he wasn't in love, he soon would be and he knew that for a fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said earlier, I was really busy with finals so I didn't have time to post. I'll be posting an my usual schedule from now on. Anyway yeah this is just fluff and I hope that's okay, there will be a plot to the next chapter.
> 
> So thank you guys so much for reading and being so awesome. I'd love to hear your feedback so leave it in tr comments.


	12. Just A Matter Of Time Until We're All Found Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete and Patrick have gotten close, but are they ready to come clean about their pasts?

Patrick opened his eyes to see a mass of dark blue. Why the hell was everything blue?

He shift slightly and realized that his face was just pressed against Pete's dark blue t-shirt. Pete's arms wrapped back around him and pulled him closer again, which he wasn't going to complain about.

"What time is it?" He mumbled sleepily.

Pete hummed softly and shifted to check his phone "about five."

Patrick sat up and rubbed his eyes "why do I always end up passing out here?"

Pete chuckled and sat up as well, arms around Patrick's waist "don't know, but I like it."

Patrick leaned back against him and smiled "I have my own bed that I should be sleeping in."

Pete nuzzled his neck which may or may not be the most amazing thing Patrick had ever felt "you should stay here more often.."

"More often just means moving in, Pete."

He groaned softly and pulled away to look at Patrick "fine. I like your cuddles though."

Patrick smiled and kissed him "shush, am I staying longer?"

Pete shrugged "sure. Hang here and watch a movie?"

"Sounds perfect. Not spending the night though, I have class tomorrow."

Pete sighed and stood up, pushing back his messy blonde hair from his eyes "okay. Come on, angel."

Patrick got up, groaning from the movement, and followed Pete into the other room.

 

"Pete?" Patrick said from the other side of the living room "can I use your guitar?"

Pete looked back at him "oh, yeah, sure."

He watched Patrick pad over to the wall and pick up his acoustic guitar before sitting down on the couch with it.

Pete watched him tune the strings for a while and played absently with the pen in his hands. But then Patrick started playing.

Pete had known he was talented but damn. He seemed to just tune out the world as he strummed the strings expertly. Pete sat next to him, making him jump and stop playing.

"S-sorry. Thank you..."

Pete kissed his cheek and shook his head "no. Patrick, that was amazing."

Patrick blushed and shook his head "n-not really..."

"Play some more?" He asked.

Patrick started playing again hesitantly and Pete leaned against his shoulder.

Patrick played for another couple minutes before getting up and putting the guitar back "you really think it was good?"

Pete nodded and pulled him back to the couch "yeah, baby, outstanding."

Patrick blushed some more and curled against Pete.

"Can you do me a favor?"

Patrick peeked up at him and nodded "I guess."

"So I'm working on some lyrics and hit a bit of writer's block and-"

"No, Pete, I don't do lyrics. You know that."

Pete sighed and pulled the smaller boy closer "I know. I was just curious."

Patrick stayed silent for a while and Pete started to wonder if he was asleep. Eventually though, he mumbled into Pete's shoulder "can I see what you were working on?"

"The lyrics?" Pete clarified, shifting to look at his boyfriend "sure." He stood and got his notebook from the desk, flipping to the right page and handing it to him.

He sat back down and watched Patrick read over them, a little nervous.

"C-can I try writing something?... It won't be good but..."

Pete grinned and handed him a pen off the coffee table "yeah, go ahead."

He watched as Patrick turned so Pete couldn't see the paper and scribbled a few lines down. He glanced at Pete and blushed "don't laugh, okay?"

Pete took the notebook once Patrick handed it back and read the lines.

 _Keep quiet,_  
_Nothing comes as easy as you,_  
_Can I lay in your bed all day?_  
_I'll be your best kept secret_  
_And your biggest mistake_

Pete smiled, although incomplete, it could be a good chorus. He took the pen and wrote down one extra line under what Patrick had written.

_The hand behind this pen relieves a failure every day,_

He looked at Patrick, who just looked back. There was so many emotions in his eyes, but Pete couldn't identify any of them.

Patrick didn't say anything and just held Pete's hand a little tighter.

 

"What was that last line about?" Patrick asked about half way through the Star Wars movie they were watching.

He could feel Pete tense up and search for words "Patrick... See, the thing is..."

Patrick felt a little panic-y all of a sudden. Pete couldn't... He was so happy... No way.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me right now if you don't want," he said, squeezing his hand "just take care of yourself, okay?"

Pete hugged him and smiled "thank you... I will tell you just..."

"The time's not right," Patrick completed "I understand."

Pete stayed silent after that and Patrick started thinking about how Pete would react to hearing how fucked up he was. He didn't like to talk about it but Pete did have to know eventually. He hoped Pete was never like that, he deserved better than that.

 

Pete woke up and didn't feel Patrick's familiar heat beside him that he fell asleep with. He looked around and saw no sign of Patrick. He was actually getting pretty worried, what had he done to make Patrick leave? But then he saw the sticky-note on his fridge.

_Have to go home to do some school work. Sorry. ❤️❤️❤️_

_-Patrick_

He smiled a little and took the note down. He should have known it was nothing, but anxiety has a way of fucking with your brain. For some reason he put the note into his wallet instead of throwing it away; maybe it was a romantic gesture, or maybe he was just a hoarder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry late Christmas!!!
> 
> So I used to put lines between each POV to show the difference but AO3 got rid of that button. I put lines manually but I don't know if it looks okay. If anyone is really bothered by it, I'll find something else.
> 
> This chapter was pretty short so sorry, Christmas took up a lot of my time. Please keep leaving your feedback in the comments and leaving kudos. Anyway see you next week! Thanks for reading!


	13. I'm A Nervous Wreck (Oh Hell Yes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety about coming out starts to set in on Patrick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is so late, I've been really busy with school.

Patrick looked out the bus window and watched the skyline. He also thought -he'd been doing that a lot lately- the main thing he thought about was coming out. That was a scary thought. He decided the best thing to do was to take it one step at a time and try not to worry, but that's not as easy as it sounds, in fact it's rather impossible.

Step one: call his parents.

That shouldn't be hard, but the second he pulled out his phone to call his parents, he had a full on anxiety attack.

_What if they laugh? What if they think it's a phase? What if they don't like me for being an asshole before? What if they hate Pete? What if I say something stupid? What if they're busy? What if I get emotional and break down?_

He was still freaking out as he got off at his stop and walked onto campus. He was verging on a panic attack as he got back to his dorm and locked the door behind him. He didn't even think as he sat down by his keyboard, it was how he always calmed down.

The notes came naturally and out of nowhere and he found himself memorizing their pattern. He liked the pattern they had. The temp was fast paced in the verses, slowed in the pre-chorus, then sped even faster in the chorus. It reminded him of Pete, the way it changed so quickly and never in the way you expect, but somehow it all fit together perfectly.

 

The hour of solitude ended when Joe came back from wherever he'd decided to go that evening.

"Hey, Joe." Patrick said, standing up and closing his journal.

"Hey, Patrick. Guess where I was." Joe greeted as he pulled his jacket off.

"Where?"

Joe grinned and pulled his roommate outside. He pulled him to his car where a relatively small fir tree was sticking out of the trunk. Of course, it was a Christmas tree, Patrick had almost forgotten about all the Christmas festivities like buying presents and decorating.

"Joe, where are we even going to put a Christmas tree?"

Joe shrugged "we'll move some stuff around and find a place. We need a Christmas tree." He started pulling the tree out from the trunk and looked at Patrick expectantly.

Patrick decided not to argue and helped Joe carry the tree inside. Despite it being a small tree, there really wasn't a place to put it. The small long room was taken up by the TV, coffee table, couch, and armchair; and there was even less room in their bedroom.

"What's your plan now, Mr. Festivity?"

Joe pursed his lips and leaned the tree back against the door to go look for space around the room "hmm, uh, well I guess we could move everything closer together and hope that works."

 

Patrick was thankful they didn't own heavy furniture because even just moving the lightweight couch was difficult for them; they really needed to work out, he decided.

The tree was a little crushed against the wall and it you had to climb over the coffee table to get to the TV from the couch but it worked and both of them were happy.

"Well I think we did a great job." Joe declared as he sat down on the newly-relocated couch.

"The sacrifices you make for this holiday, Joe, it astounds me."

"Someone has to, after all."

Patrick rolled his eyes and sat down in the armchair. Joe seemed preoccupied by his phone at the moment so Patrick pulled his own phone out and called his parents.

He hadn't talked to his parents in months, not because they didn't get along, but he just never called unless it was an emergency; so they picked up after only a few rings.

"Patrick!" Patrick's mother said cheerfully over the line "how have you been, darling?"

"Oh, uh, good. So I was wondering, if you guys are free you could always, y'know, drive down for Christmas. There's n-no room for guests but-"

"Hi, Mrs. Stump!" Joe called from the couch.

"Joe says hi," Patrick said with a smile.

"Hello, Joseph. Your father and I would absolute love to visit you for Christmas, honey."

"Okay," Patrick said, trying not to sound nervous "I'll see you then."

"Leaving already? Don't you have time to talk for a while?"

Patrick pulled his legs onto the chair and crossed them "sorry, yeah, I can talk. How's dad?"

He could hear her smile through the speaker "he's good. He's at work right now but he misses you a lot, we both do."

"Miss you guys too."

"Do you miss all your old friends?"

Patrick laughed nervously "not really anyone to miss. I made some friends here though."

"Really? Still dating that Ava girl?"

Patrick tensed and shifted nervously "n-no. We broke up."

"Oh honey," she said sweetly "are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm actually way happier now." He said honestly.

"Well as long as you're happy, Patrick."

"I am, mom." He glanced at Joe, who was now looking around the kitchen for food "I do actually need to go now, bye."

"Bye, sweetheart. Call again soon, okay?"

Patrick stood up "I will, I promise."

 

* * *

 

 

Pete was scrolling through Twitter and trying to sleep. Granted, social media might have not helped with the whole sleeping thing but fuck it, he probably wouldn't sleep anyway.

There wasn't much gossip about him, which was a nice change. The only things he was mentioned in were tweets about how he wasn't doing anything. Of course they'd find out about Patrick eventually but he was enjoying the calm before the storm.

 

He locked his phone once he ran out of things to do and looked up at the ceiling. It was almost midnight and he still wasn't close to tired. These were the nights when he had time to think, which wasn't a good thing. He tried to focus on thinking about happy things like Patrick and kittens but it didn't do much good. He just wanted to turn it off.

He sat up and turned on a light. Everything was quiet and it made him nervous for some reason. He walked into the living room and picked up the acoustic guitar, the strings making a melodic sound that filled the silence comfortingly. He sat down and started playing quietly, hoping not to wake anyone. He barely even thought as he played the familiar chords in no particular order but it was a distraction so he didn't stop.

 

He didn't stop until the sun rose, actually, yet another sleepless night. The sunlight spread across the floor and Pete yawned, now he was tired. He'd love to sleep now but, of course, he had therapy. Another morning of convincing someone he wasn't going to walk into traffic, joy. He got up and put the guitar away, his fingertips numb from playing for hours.

He walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, setting it to cold to try and wake him up a little. He stripped down and stepped it, wincing at the temperature. He closed his eyes and sighed, it was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'm sorry this is so late and also so short. I lost my schedule because of school then I got really bad writer's block. Anyway I hope you don't hate me and liked the chapter.
> 
> So if you want to leave comments or kudos that would be great. Love you guys, see you next week.


	14. Live and Let Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick is still nervous about coming out, Pete is smarmy.
> 
> (I'm sorry about that summery)

Patrick woke up feeling sick. Not because he _was_ sick, but he realized that it was December 5th; only twenty more days before he came out as bisexual to his parents. He wanted to stay in bed all day and wallow in his problems but he had class and a major test. He dragged himself out of bed and changed into clean clothes, he didn't bother change in the bathroom because even _Joe_ was already gone; he was later than he thought. He pulled a hat over his messy hair and grabbed his bag, hoping that somehow they wouldn't lock the doors. He really needed to fix his sleep schedule.

 

 _"The irony in 'Kill All Your Friends' by My Chemical Romance is extremely obvious. Irony is present in the lyrics, melody, and theme of the song._  
_The lyrics discuss the writer/speaker attending the funeral of a "friend" but instead of feeling sad, they feel relieved and even happy. The lyrics "it's been eight bitter years since I've been seeing your face" suggest that this "friend" betrayed them and..."_

Patrick's hand was shaking as he wrote, he wasn't sure if it was fear about coming out, lack of sleep, or a combination but he really didn't care. If he could just get through this class and then two more, he could go back home and sleep. About four more hours until he could relax.

The more he thought about it, the longer it seemed. He kept forgetting to write his essay and instead measured out exactly how many more minutes there were, which left him with ten minutes left and only half an essay written.

_"The melody also changes quickly between verse and chorus, showing some sort of indecision or confusion in the writer/speaker's mind..."_

Sometimes he really hated his mind and how it never worked the way he wanted.

_"In conclusion,"_

"Five minutes left, finish up and leave them on my desk."

Fuck.

 

* * *

 

 

"Wentz!"

Pete turned when someone called his name. He looked over the crowd of various people in the office building where Clyde's office.

He didn't see anyone he knew so he shrugged and turned back towards where he was going, almost running over a small girl with a clipboard in her shaking hands.

"Oh, sorry ma'am." He mumbled and stepped past her.

"Wait! C-can I ask you a few questions?"

Ah, media, of course.

"This really isn't a good time."

"It w-won't take long, please?"

She seemed nice and a little terrified, he could at least listen.

"Okay, fine."

"Really?" She said, looking a little shocked "oh, th-thank you, sir."

She shuffled through papers for a few seconds "i-is it true that you are in rehab for your drug and alcohol abuse as well as your suicidal tendencies?"

Jesus Christ, let that go.

"No. I am not in rehab. Now do you have any questions that don't involve... That."

"I-I'm sorry..."

He sighed, as much as he hated the media, she was just doing her job.

"Hey, it's okay. Just a sensitive topic and I don't like talking about it. Okay?"

She nodded and took a deep breath, she looked fucking terrified.

"Can I give you some advice?"

She looked at him curiously, he took it as yes.

"Find a new story. Everyone knows about what I've done, it's old news. Everyone is trying to get more information about it, but there isn't any to be found. Go find a new story, your boss will love you for it."

She smiled and nodded "thank you. Really, you're so much nicer than people say."

He laughed "yeah, well don't believe what you see on TV."

She waved and went back outside smiling. Pete smiled as well and started walking to Clyde's office.

 

"Do you have the set list for tomorrow?" Clyde asked.

"Yes."

"Can you give me more than a one word answer, Pete?"

"Yes, _Clyde_."

Clyde sighed and looked like he wanted to throw his cat-shaped tape dispenser at Pete.

"Peter,"

"Can you give me more than a one word answer please?" Pete mocked.

"Why are you in such a mood?"

"Because you're asking stupid questions."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. That's my job. To annoy you. I live for it." He said "but really, you're ready for tomorrow's show?"

"Yep. Can I go?" Pete replied hopefully.

Clyde rolled his eyes "I suppose. I'll see you then."

Pete was surprised. Clyde never went to his shows. He couldn't help but feel pleased with himself and a little proud.

"Okay, yeah. See you there."

The left the office smiling, it was a nice change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry these last few chapters have been so crappy and short. Please don't hate me.
> 
> So I've gotten a lot of great comments but I really want to know how you guys feel about the story. Do you like a character? Did you laugh at a dialogue? Did a chapter make you laugh? Did a chapter make you cry? Did a chapter bore you? What do you hope happens next?  
> You are not annoying at all, I just want to hear everything you think about it, I'm sorry I'm so needy. Please just leave some comments saying just whatever you think about it.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments you have left and kudos, they make me so so happy so keep it up (please). Love you guys, see you next week.


	15. What A Catch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete has a show and he invites Patrick.

Patrick was sitting outside of one of the class buildings, his guitar on his lap, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

**Pete: free?**

**Patrick: now?**

He went back to playing for a few minutes until his phone buzzed again.

**Pete: tonight?**

He replied quickly and put his guitar back into the case, texting as he walked back to his dorm.

**Patrick: I think so. Why?**

**Pete: I have a show tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to go**

Patrick grinned and nearly walked into a car as he texted back.

**Patrick: that sounds great!**

Pete's next text was just the address and time. Patrick would have to leave right after class to be there on time but he didn't really care. He kind of knew what kind of music Pete played but not exactly and he was really excited to find out.

 

He changed once he got home into something a little nicer and exchanged his glasses for contacts. He hoped that that would be enough to impress Pete, because he really didn't have time to do anything else.

 

* * *

 

 

Pete looked over the set list again for tonight once more and then the stage. People would probably start showing up in an hour and he wanted to make sure things were ready. He had an acoustic guitar backstage, which was weird for him seeing as he was more of a metal kind of person but he had something special in mind for tonight. There was a song he'd written months ago but had never performed, he wanted Patrick to be there the first time.

He also planned on telling Patrick about his suicide attempt tonight. He couldn't put it off much longer or Patrick would find out on his own, which Pete didn't want. He knew it wouldn't be easy because Patrick had never seen that side of Pete and didn't even know it was there but he needed to. If they were going to work out as a couple, Patrick needed to know what was wrong with Pete, he needed to hear the whole fucked up story. He hoped Patrick wouldn't cry, seeing Patrick cry would break Pete's heart. He knew he would though, that was just Patrick; he cared too much for everyone else and not enough about himself. 

"Ready?" one of the techs said, pulling Pete out of his own thoughts.

"Ready. How long?"

"You've got another ten minutes before the bar opens and then another twenty before you're on."

Thirty minutes. Thirty minutes until Patrick heard all the things going through his head and everything wrong with him. He needed a drink.

 

Pete's eyes scanned the crowd from backstage. He saw the usual bar crowd as well as Andy and Clyde, but still no Patrick. He couldn't put off the show any longer or people would get annoyed, which was never good for atmosphere. He tried not to think about how maybe Patrick wouldn't show at all as he walked on stage. He was greeted by the familiar clapping of the crowd and a few "I love you"s and "let me have your babies"s, he could also hear Andy's loud whistle over the other noise, which made him smile.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" He greeted as he took the mic "not too drunk yet? That's unfortunate, but you've got time."

People laughed and Pete looked around again for Patrick. Getting stood up was a new experience for Pete, not at all one he liked.

"So I'm Pete, but you guys knew that. I'll just stand up here for a while and yell about my problems so hope you like it."

He looked back at the rest of the stage to check that all the other musicians were ready before putting the microphone back on the stand and looking at the crowd again. As he turned, he saw a small man scurry through the door. Pete knew immediately that it was Patrick and he smiled. He was so relieved that he almost missed his queue, but not quite.

 

* * *

 

 

Patrick jumped when he heard Pete screaming for the first time. It didn't even sound like him at all! It sounded so... So angry and sad, that didn't seem like Pete at all, but maybe he didn't know Pete as wel as he thought. He recognized Andy sitting with another man he didn't know and sat down next to them.

"Hey, Patrick!" Andy said cheerfully over the loud music. The other man waved politely but didn't say anything.

"Hey, Andy." He looked at the older man "I don't think we've met before."

"I'm Clyde, Pete's manager." He said and reached over to shake Patrick's hand.

"Nice to meet you," Patrick replied. "I'm Patrick. Pete's my..." He trailed off and bit his lip, he didn't know whether or not Pete would want people to know. After all, he was so popular and Patrick was no one.

"Pete's told me about you before. So what's it like dating Wentz?"

Patrick smiled, relived that he didn't have to explain what him and Pete were. "He's great. I never knew that his music was so..."

Both of the other men  chuckled understandingly in reply before all of them turned back to look at Pete, who was bouncing around the stage energetically.

 

The show was almost over and there was only one last song left. Pete cleared his throat and spoke again as a tech brought a stool and an acoustic guitar that Patrick recognized from Pete's apartment onto the stage.

"Okay, I know you aren't here to hear a speech but listen up for a second. We all know about the whole big thing from a few months ago and I don't want to go into that tonight but there is a related point I want to address. So a few weeks ago there a Panic! at the Disco concert, right? Yeah well anyway, when I was there I met this guy. I want you to take whatever guy you're imagining I'd date, and then take the opposite of that, and cuter. He's... Well I'm going to try not to give him away by saying anything but this next song is for him."

Patrick was tearing up from the speech, but then Pete sat down with the acoustic guitar and started to sing.

_"I've got troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match, what a catch..."_

* * *

 

 

Pete was putting away the gear backstage when he heard Patrick's voice.

He turned at the sound of his name and saw the younger boy standing nervously in the doorway, his eyes were watering and it looked like he was trying to hold back tears.

"Patrick, babe, what's wrong?" He said, pulling him into a tight hug.

Patrick buried his face into Pete's neck and clung to him, saying nothing.

"Was it that song?..." Pete asked, already knowing the answer.

Patrick nodded slowly and pressed tighter against him.

"I just wanted you to know... Patrick, th-there's more..."

Patrick looked up at him, a tear running down his cheek.

Pete's heart was pounding as pulled Patrick even closer "a f-few months before we met... Well it was really hard for me, okay? I d-didn't have you or Andy or anyone, I felt so alone and all I was doing was music but even that w-wasn't good enough for people so..." He took a deep breath and mumbled softly, ashamed at even just the words "I tried t-to kill myself..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!!!!! Please don't kill me!!!!
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading and suffering with me, I appreciate it. Please keep leaving all those great comments and kudos if you haven't already, I live for them. See you next week!


	16. The Truth Hurts Worse Than Anything I could Bring Myself To Do To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick gets more than he expected at one of Pete's concerts.

"Y-You what?..." Patrick stammered, unable to believe that his adorable boyfriend had - _could_ \- do something like that. He must have misheard or _something_. There was no way it could be true.

"I... Yeah..." Pete mumbled, hugging Patrick tighter.

Patrick could feel Pete shaking and knew he was crying too. It wasn't loud sobs or pretty stage-crying; it was a silent release of a thousand emotions that he'd been holding back for too long.

It didn't feel real; more like some sick joke or dream. He knew it was real though, he also knew that this was what Pete didn't want him to find out about.

The buzz of music and talking faded away and so did the smell of alcohol and smoke. All Patrick could think about was holding onto Pete and keeping him safe.

He didn't know how long they stood there holding onto each other but Pete eventually pulled away, his eyes red from crying.

Neither said anything -there wasn't anything they could say- and just looked at each other. The look Pete gave him informed Patrick of all he needed to know.

"C-can I stay with you tonight?" Patrick asked after a few seconds. He couldn't imagine leaving and going back to his dorm now.

Pete nodded and wiped his eyes, some of his stage-makeup coming off on his hand.

Patrick reached up and wiped away the makeup that he had smeared by rubbing his eyes and stayed silent. Pete looked down and mumbled a soft thank you to Patrick.

"Is there someone who I can get to finish up here so we can leave?"

Pete gestured vaguely towards one of the stage managers who was talking to the guy who had been playing drums "I'll just finish packing up my stuff and we can go. Let her know that we're leaving."

His voice wasn't shaking anymore but sounded softer than usual and empty, like he couldn't care less what Patrick told her.

Patrick did as Pete said and when he came back, Pete was standing by the door.

"Ready to go?" Patrick asked, trying to act like things would be the same.

"Yeah..." Pete said in an uncharacteristically flat voice, confirming Patrick's suspicion that it  might never be.

 

* * *

 

 

Pete spent most of the drive home trying to think of something to say to Patrick -something that might make things better or make him look less sad- but he couldn't think of anything except "I'm sorry" which he'd said too many times already.

When they got back to the apartment, Pete leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. He hadn't craved the numbness of drugs for ages, but now he needed to not feel anything. That thought faded some when he felt Patrick's body lean up against him. The younger boy buried his face into Pete's neck and hugged him, keeping him grounded.

They stood pressed together like that for the second time that night, but Pete needed it. When he could feel Patrick there, things seemed more okay. They'd get through this, or at least that's what he told himself.

"Are you okay?" Patrick asked softly.

"Maybe. I don't know. I'm glad you're here though."

Patrick smiled for the first time since he found out "I'm glad I am too. I'm also glad you told me, even though it's hard to hear. You're better now, right?"

"Yeah." Pete said honestly "I'm okay now. I started going to therapy and got diagnosed as bipolar. I take meds for it now and it's not so bad."

Patrick nodded and kissed him, his body relaxing against Pete's. Pete liked kissing Patrick because it gave him an opportunity to feel exactly what Patrick was feeling. He could feel all his breaths and movements. In this moment, he felt Patrick's fingers curling into his shirt and holding him close as well as his breaths getting steadier and softer as he relaxed. Things were going to be okay, probably.

 

* * *

 

 

Patrick broke the kiss after a few seconds and took Pete's hands. He had never noticed before but whenever they held hands, Pete turned his hand palm-down, but he saw why now. Several thin white lines ran up both wrists and continued under his sleeves. It shouldn't have been such a shock to Patrick, but as soon as he saw them, he felt like his heart had stopped working.

He should have expected that. After all, it wasn't like he didn't know that Pete wasn't the picture of mental health. Obviously if he had been depressed enough to kill himself, he could have taken a blade to his skin. This just felt more real. This was something Patrick could see. This was something that proved beyond any doubt that this was real.

Pete seemed to notice at the same time and he jerked away. Patrick pulled his hands back and backed up to the couch. Pete tried to pull his hands back again, but not hard and Patrick didn't let go. Pete didn't know it but Patrick has a set of similar scars running up his arm as well, no one knew that.

 

He sat down with Pete and let his hands drop. His heart was pounding as he rolled the sleeves of his sweater up some. His scars were more faded than Pete's and you might not even notice them unless you were looking, but they were still definitely there. He held his now-bare wrist next to Pete's and looked up at him "look, we match."

 

* * *

 

 

Pete blinked a few times. He couldn't even comprehend that Patrick had scars on his wrist too. That Patrick had felt that pain too and gone through some of the same things. Patrick didn't deserve to hurt like that, no one did but _especially_ not Patrick. They looked old, at least a few years old. He realized he didn't know much about Patrick's family or childhood. What had happened to make Patrick -his beautiful, angelic, perfect boyfriend- ever want to do that to himself?

He didn't have words to say so he just hugged him, tackling him down onto the couch. He placed about a thousand kisses onto Patrick's face and wrists until Patrick actually had to push him off so he could speak.

"Hey, hey it's okay. That was a really long time ago. I'm better now."

Pete didn't stop and went back to kissing him, this time focusing on his lips.

"I don't care. You're not allowed to be sad."

Patrick smiled cutely "how could I be with you around?"

Pete finally stopped and looked down at Patrick. He looked genuinely happy despite everything that had happened. Everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry (again)!!!!! This just sort of happened and oops. It'll get happier now I promise. 
> 
> GOOD NEWS if you ship Ryden, I've got a new Ryden fic now so go check it out (please)
> 
> archiveofourown.org/works/5808682
> 
> Anyway keep leaving comments and kudos because I love them so much. Bye guys! See you next week!


	17. I Wanna Scream 'I Love You' From The Top Of My Lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick sleeps over at Pete's again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mild depictions of the feeling of cutting. It's not too graphic but if you think it'll trigger you, don't read that paragraph. Stay safe, friends.

"You're sleeping here, right?" Pete asked. They had been cuddled up on the couch for at least an hour and Pete had noticed Patrick yawning a few times in the last ten or so minutes.

Patrick just nodded and wriggled closer to Pete, pressing his back against Pete's chest.

Pete closed his eyes and nuzzled the back of Patrick's neck, making him squirm and giggle.

"Wanna go to bed then?"

Patrick nodded again and got up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. Pete got up as well and followed Patrick into the bedroom.

"I'm going to go take a quick shower, okay?"

"Go ahead. I'll just be here." Patrick said and flopped down onto the bed "oh, can I borrow some clothes to sleep in?"

Pete nodded and gestured vaguely to the dresser "sure. Might be a little big on you but sure."

 

Patrick laid back down after changing. His (Pete's) sweatshirt was about two sizes too big and his (Pete's) sweatpants hung low on his hips. They were warm though and soft and smelled like Pete and aftershave which made Patrick feel safe and happy in Pete's bed.

He was half asleep When the door opened again. He opened one eye to see Pete walk in wearing only a towel around his hips. Patrick hadn't seen Pete without a shirt before and he couldn't help but catch his breath.

Tattoos ran up his arms and shoulders; one also ringed his neck and another between his hip bones. His arms and chest were tan and muscled, the complete opposite of Patrick's own pale, undefined form.

He met Pete's dark eyes and returned the smile Pete gave him.

"Close your eyes." Pete said, hands resting on his hips.

Patrick blushed and covered his hands, trying to think of anything except Pete, but that was really hard when his hot as fuck boyfriend was changing ten feet away.

He reopened his eyes when he felt Pete lay down beside him. He rolled over and looked at him; he was wearing only sweatpants, from what Patrick could tell, and looked even more amazing up close.

Pete didn't give him long to admire him though because after only a second, he was kissing he younger boy.

Patrick ran his hands over Pete's arms and shoulders as they kissed, then slid them down his chest and stomach. He could feel as Pete's muscles tensed and relaxed and his skin twitching under his fingers. Pete had his hands on Patrick's hips and was rubbing and squeezing in a way that was making his head spin.

Pete ran his tongue lightly over Patrick's lip and, although Patrick didn't really know what he was doing, he knew enough to part his lips. He was glad he did too because then Pete's tongue was in his mouth and running over his own.

Patrick barely had time to get used to that before Pete's fingers were under his waistband. Patrick suddenly felt more nervous than excited but pushed the thoughts away. That worked for a second but Pete's hand was still moving lower. _It was just too much_.

 

* * *

 

 

Pete moved his hand a little lower, still kissing Patrick. That lasted a second before Patrick pulled away suddenly and grabbed his wrist. As soon as Pete opened his eyes, he noticed that the poor boy looked terrified. His eyes were huge and his breathing was fast and hard. He could feel Patrick's heart hammering against his chest but not because of excitement of arousal like he had thought but instead fear.  
  
He rested his forehead against Patrick's and looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry. We'll wait."

Patrick said nothing but just blinked his eyes, trying to hold back tears.

 

They laid there for a long time, neither knew how long but neither cared either.

 

 

After a while, Patrick started to relax. This breathing wasn’t as hard as it was before and his eyes were closed. Pete stayed up watching him, hoping he might fall asleep like this. He was a little worried that Patrick wouldn’t trust him as much now, but he seemed to be fine. The younger boy was absentmindedly running his fingers along Pete’s collar bone and smiling softly to himself. Pete watched as his movements and breathing got slower and slower, until his movements stopped completely besides his shallow breathing.

Even now that Patrick was asleep, Pete didn’t close his eyes. His mind was racing too much to relax. His brain did weird things at night, especially seeing as he had skipped his medication that evening. It helped to have Patrick there but not much. The white scars on his wrists stood out in the dark and  brought back bad memories. Sometimes he still wanted to, still wanted to break open his skin to let out his feelings. He wouldn’t, but he wanted to. Sometimes he wanted to so bad it scared him. Even now that things were better for him, he still wanted to. Would he still want to when he was old and married and happy? Was this just his life? No matter what happened, that urge would always be there, just like the permanent marks on his skin? He hated those marks, and hated himself for making them. Hated himself for taking those pills, hated himself for not accepting help, hated himself-.

 

Patrick’s eyes fluttered open and met with Pete’s. Pete’s thoughts halted and he focused on the other boy. Patrick didn’t say anything for a second and stayed looking at Pete. Pete couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but he looked nervous.

 

After a second, he spoke. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of short but I hope it's good anyway. 
> 
> As always, leave any feedback you have in the comments (please) and if you haven't already feel free to leave kudos. See you next week!


	18. Besides, My Reputation's On The Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I love you too' and the aftermath of it.

Patrick looked up at Pete for a second that felt an eternity before Pete said anything. part of him expected him to laugh or say he was a stupid little kid even though he knew that Pete wasn’t like that.

“I love you too.”

Hearing that almost surprised Patrick. Wait, that worked? He didn’t know what else to do so he just hugged Pete and nuzzles his neck. Pete kept his arms around him and hummed softly.

 

“I love you so much.” Patrick repeated and tucked his his head under Pete’s chin.

 

Pete chuckled and kissed the top of his head. “I love you too.”

 

Patrick bit his lip and pressed his face into Pete’s neck “I’m sorry about earlier…”

 

“About not wanting to take things farther?”

 

He nodded and sighed. Pete tilted Patrick’s chin up and kissed him “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? You’re just not ready and that’s okay.”

 

Patrick looked away. He still felt bad. Pete had wanted something from him and he wasn’t ready, he should have been ready. Pete was ready, why wasn’t he? Pete was probably so mad at him. He wasn’t good enough, he’d never be good enough.

 

“Patrick, look at me,” he looked up at Pete again, who continued once their eyes were locked “I don’t want that until you do. I just want to be with you, in whatever sense that means. If you just want to cuddle and kiss, then I want that too. Even if you’re not ready for more for a year, I still won’t be mad at you for it. I want you to be happy and comfortable, okay?”

 

Patrick kissed him and clung tightly to him. He didn’t know what he did to deserve Pete, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.  


* * *

 

Patrick fell back asleep somewhere around midnight, his head tucked back under Pete’s chin; once again, Pete was still awake. This time though he didn’t feel the same empty feeling, he felt content and happy as he felt the other boy’s breathing.

 

He was so lucky to have Patrick here and in his life. He was strong, beautiful, funny, kind, and everything Pete could have asked for. He really did love him. He couldn’t even begin to say how much.

 

He fell asleep happy, which had become a more and more common thing since he met Patrick all that time ago at a Panic!at the Disco concert.

 

* * *

 

Patrick woke up and immediately was greeted by the smell of coffee brewing. Pete wasn’t there but he didn’t worry like he might have earlier, he knew Pete wouldn’t leave. He got up and padded sleepily out of the bedroom. Pete was -like he expected- in the kitchen.

 

Pete didn’t notice him so Patrick snuck up behind him and wrapped him in a tight hum from behind. Pete jumped a little but quickly relaxed and smiled.

 

“Morning, sunshine,” He said, turning as much as his could with Patrick still on him “How’d you sleep?”

 

Patrick giggled at the pet name and nuzzled his shoulder “Good. You?”

 

“Very well. Hey, ‘Trick?”

 

Patrick let go of Pete so he could turn around to face him. “What?”

 

Pete smiled and pulled the younger boy closer, resting their foreheads together. “I love you.”

 

Patrick smiled and places his hands on Pete’s shoulders “I love you too. Can I have coffee so I don’t fall asleep on you though?”

 

Pete kissed him for a few seconds before he reached to get a mug from the cupboard, keeping an arm around Patrick “You can go back to bed if you’re tired.”

 

Patrick shook his head “I’m fine, just need some caffeine.”

 

Pete poured coffee into the mug and hummed softly in acknowledgement “what do you have planned for today?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ll probably go look for Christmas gifts, seeing as I don’t have class. Oh! That reminds me, what do you want for Christmas?”

 

“Oh, ‘Trick, you don’t need to get me anything. How do you take your coffee?”

 

Patrick shook his head. He was getting stuff for everyone else, Pete definitely deserved something “Too bad. What do you want? And just sugar.”

 

Pete let go of Patrick in order to get the sugar from the other side of the counter “If you insist, I guess a new journal would be nice. Like those artsy ones they sell at bookstores? Yeah, that sounds nice.”

 

Patrick made a mental note to visit a book shop later that day.

 

* * *

  
Pete handed Patrick his coffee and leaned back against the counter. “What do you want?”

 

Patrick leaned against the opposite counter and shrugged, his hands hidden in his too-long sleeves. “I don’t know… I’ll get back to you on that.”

 

They didn’t say anything after that, but it was a comfortable silence. They smiled warmly whenever their eyes met over their coffee. It was only when Pete got his pills down from the top of the fridge that Patrick spoke again.

 

“Are those for…?”

 

Pete just nodded and focused on counting out the right amount.

 

“How often do you take them?”

 

“Two in the morning, two at night.”

 

“Did you take them last night?”

 

Pete said nothing and swallowed them, avoiding Patrick’s eyes, knowing the hurt and disappointed look that he would be giving him.

 

“You need to take them, babe. You can’t just…”

 

“Patrick, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

 

Patrick exhaled softly but didn’t argue. Pete knew it would be a hard concept for him to understand.

 

“It’s not like I’ll automatically get depressed if I don’t take them, that’s not how it works. I’m bipolar so I’ll get depressed without a lot of warning sometimes and that’s what they stop. But I was happy last night, I don’t need to take them all the time. I probably should but I don’t need to.”

 

That seemed to make Patrick a little happier but not entirely “Okay, just please be careful.”

 

Pete set his now-empty mug down and pulled the smaller boy into his arms “I know. Don’t worry. I was really really _really_ happy last night so it was okay. I don't know how to explain things but I was fine.”

 

Maybe that wasn’t the most honest thing Pete had ever said, but it wasn’t a lie either.

 

“I love you.” Patrick said, snaking his arms around Pete’s waist.

 

“I know. I love you too.”

 

* * *

Patrick got off the bus at the station by the mall. He had a scribbled list of gifts to buy crumbled up in the pocket of his (Pete’s) jeans. He didn't really need a list because it was only Joe, his parents, and Pete; but he'd made one anyway because he liked to be organized.

It was nearing mid-day so the mall was crowded with about a thousand people. Patrick tried to ignore the crowd as he walked in. Fortunately, the stores he was going to weren't very crowded. His first stop was a music store to get a vinyl for Joe.

 

Joe was easy to shop for; anything classic rock, he loved. The man working at the counter waved but quickly returned to the customer he was talking to once Patrick walked in; which Patrick didn't mind at all because it meant less human interaction. All of their vinyls were on a shelf at the back and Patrick was tempted to buy all of them because he was seriously always a slut for vinyls.

 

He flipped through the ‘rock’ stack and looked for something Joe didn’t have. Most were pretty generic ‘Greatest Hits’ records from The Eagles, Rolling Stones, and Beatles but there was one vinyl at the bottom of the stack of live tracks from Foo Fighters. He checked the price and it was only $19.95, which was really cheap for a rare vinyl. He went straight up to the counter once he found it, knowing that if he looked around, he’d buy half the store.

 

“Did you find everything okay?” The man working asked.

 

Patrick set the vinyl and his credit card on the counter, trying to get through this as fast as he could “Oh, uh, y-yeah.”

 

The man seemed to get the idea and handed Patrick the bag without pushing conversation “Have a nice day. Come again.”

 

Patrick took it and smiled, hoping he didn’t seem like a complete asshole “Thanks, y-you too.”

 

He left quickly but then remembered that, oh yeah, the rest of the mall had even more people. Fortunately, the gifts for his parents and the gift for Pete were both at the bookstore, which was nearby.

 

No one was in the store besides an older woman who was reading behind the counter. He found a generic photojournal for his parents quickly but then when he started looking through journals, he didn’t even know where to start. There were plain colored, and leather-bound, and ones with quotes, ones with designs, ones with lines for music, and about a thousand combinations. He really should have asked Pete for more details. He didn’t noticed the old woman walk over to him until she spoke, causing Patrick to jump in surprise.

 

“Can I help you?”

 

Patrick shook his head “N-no, just looking.” He lied.

 

She smiled sweetly “Don’t be shy. Who are you shopping for?”

 

He almost repeated that he was just looking again but he actually could really use the help. “M-my boyfriend,” he mumbled “he’s a musician so…”

 

“Is it for him to write sheet music?”

 

“Uh, n-no.” God, why was he so bad at talking to people? “Lyrics.”

 

She looked through the shelf and quickly pulled a plain leather journal out “you can put a picture in the cover of this one, it sells really well as gifts for couples.”

 

Patrick took it from her and looked it over, flipping through the pages “This is really nice. Thank you so much.”

 

“Just doing my job, honey. Is that all?”

 

“That and the photojournal, yeah, that’s all.”

 

* * *

Pete flipped through filters on his phone, looking for one that he liked. He had taken the picture that morning before Patrick left. They had been kissing casually as a way to delay Patrick leaving and Pete had decided to take a selfie because why not. He was expecting to to turn out horribly but it didn't actually look bad, it was actually pretty fucking adorable with the right filter.

 

He quickly texted it to Patrick and smiled at what his reaction might be. He turned on the TV while he waited for a reply, which came after a few minutes.

 

 **Patrick:** when did you even take that?

 

 **Pete:** this morning. Cute huh?

 

He could practically feel Patrick rolling his eyes through the screen.

 

 **Patrick:** oh yeah. Your tongue down my throat is adorable.

 

 **Pete:** hey, you can't see that from the picture. That's what makes it great. To everyone else, it looks intimate but only we know just how intimate.

 

 **Patrick:** poetic.

 

 **Pete:** it is my job. Anyway I was thinking, do you want to tell people?

 

Pete watched the little dots move on the screen to show that Patrick was typing out a reply.

 

 **Patrick:** like about us? Like everyone?

 

 **Pete:** yeah. Do you want to?

 

 **Patrick:** I don’t know. What will happen?

 

Pete thought for a few seconds, honestly, he didn’t know but he could make a few guesses.

 

 **Pete:** People will freak out, media might ask you some questions but you don’t have to answer anything. Stuff like that. But we’ll be able to go on bigger dates and I’ll be able to talk about you and it’ll be really nice.

 

 **Patrick:** that’s not too bad. Okay. Yeah, I want people to know.

 

 **Pete:** can I post the picture on my social media as the announcement?

 

 **Patrick:** is it okay if we wait until I’m there? Sorry.

 

 **Pete:** sure we can. When do you want to meet up?

 

 **Patrick:** I can come over for dinner the day after tomorrow, does that work?

 

 **Pete:** sounds perfect. Bring Joe if you want.

 

Patrick read the message but didn’t reply so Pete assumed that he was busy now. He did technically have work to do but, on the other hand, he was comfy laying on the couch. He rested there for a few minutes before someone knocked on the door.

 

Pete groaned and got up. It better be Andy because he was too annoyed to talk to anyone else.

 

It was Andy.

 

“Hey, Pete. Got a minute?”

 

“Mhm. Come on in.”

 

He was relieved that it wasn’t Clyde or anyone who needed him to doe stuff. Andy’s visits were rarely anything like that, thank God.

 

“I didn’t see you after the show last night. Was everything okay?” Andy asked and sat down on the couch.

 

Pete joined him and nodded. “I told Patrick about… about what happened. We came straight home after that.”

 

“Okay, I’m glad you’re okay. How did he take it?”

 

“Alright,” he said “he wasn’t okay with it by any means, but he reacted as well as anyone can.”

 

“I know what you’re trying to say.” he reassured “he was upset but not like…”

 

“Angry or anything, yeah.” he finished.

 

“Yeah… So he knows everything now?”

 

Pete nodded “yeah, everything. I’m really glad too, I hated lying to him. I mean, I wasn’t _lying_ but just wasn’t telling him about it.”

 

“Media still all over it?”

 

“Obviously. They never stop.” Pete said with a small smile.

 

“Do they know about Patrick?”

 

“Well, people have seen us together and you know how that goes; but no, I haven’t actually said it yet. We’re planning to do it soon though.”

 

Andy’s face changed “oh! I wanted to ask you something besides that. Want to come over for dinner Monday?”

 

“Patrick and Joe are coming over so I can’t. Sorry.”

 

Andy seemed pretty persistent on the subject “They can come too. Please? I’ve got a bunch of food that I need to clean out of my fridge. The more the merrier.”

 

Pete smiled “alright. I’ll let them know. Your cooking will be way better than Chinese take-out anyway.”

 

* * *

Joe was playing guitar on the couch when Patrick got back to the dorm. Joe jerked up as soon when his roommate walked in “Patrick!” he cried “dude, the fuck were you?”

 

Patrick realized that he hadn’t told Joe that he hadn’t told Joe he was going out or that he was staying with Pete.

 

“Sorry! I went to one of Pete’s shows and then stayed at his place.” He sat down next to Joe.

 

“Okay, you worried me for a while. Text me next time.”

 

“I was going to but I forgot, I’m sorry. Were you really worried?”

 

Joe set his guitar down and turned to face Patrick “A little. Mainly just worried that you might be getting a social life.” He teased.

 

“Hey, rude. Are _you_ dating a celebrity? No, no you’re not. So shut the frick up.” Patrick replied, trying to hide a smile.

 

Joe just laughed “shut the _frick_ up? Wow, Patrick, using your big boy words.”

 

Patrick groans and kicked Joe’s foot “shut up! I was _going_ to invite you to dinner with Pete and one of his friends but if you're gonna be mean…”

 

Joe’s face lit up “Is she cute?”

 

Patrick smiled, torturing Joe was always fun.

 

“Oh yeah, _plus_ she’s single and _really_ rich.”

 

“Fuck yeah! Dude, you gotta hook me up.”

 

“Don’t worry, she’ll _totally_ be into you.”

 

“Sweet, we’re both getting laid then!”

 

Patrick groaned “Pete and I aren’t sleeping together!”

 

Joe laughed “you’re such a virgin!”

 

“What does that even mean?!”

 

Joe just shook his head and smiled “oh, Patty, one day you'll know.”

 

“I hate you, you know that?”

  


* * *

_Does Pete Wentz Have A New Fling?_

_The question on everyone in Chicago’s mind is who is this man that Wentz has been seen with on multiple occasions. Is he a friend? Doubtful, knowing the vocalist’s reputation. That leaves two options: boy-toy or boy-friend? Will this be another fling or is Wentz going to settle down?_

  


Pete groaned and closed the tab on his computer. Of course rumors about Patrick had started, he was surprised it had been this long before they started. For a second, he was relieved that they were going to go public but then he remembered that doing that would only start a different set of rumors.

 

He loved the music and the help he could give people, but this was insane sometimes. At least once they went public with their relationship, no one would say Patrick was only a fling because that couldn't be more wrong.

  
Pete knew what a fling felt like, and this wasn't it. He loved him. He wanted to be his forever; as cliche as that sounded. He didn't know if Patrick and him would last, but he knew that he would fight for it until the end. Who knew what the years might bring, things might change. Maybe they'd go down, but they'd go down swinging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! A long chapter! Be proud!
> 
> Anyway, apart of the fact that I did my only job and am proud, thanks for reading. Sorry this is later than usual, I was busy today. Remember to keep leaving comments and kudos because I write this for you guys so knowing what you think is really helpful. See you next chapter!


	19. The Best Of Us Can Find Happiness In Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe, Andy, Pete, and Patrick have dinner together

 Patrick knocked on Andy’s door Monday night. He hadn’t seen Pete since Saturday morning and hadn’t really done much else either, besides class. Joe was somewhere behind him, looking at the hall wallpaper, last time he checked.

Andy opened the door and smiled. “Patrick! Hey!” He welcomed them in and turned to Joe “I guess you’re Joe. Nice to meet you, I’m Andy.”

Patrick watched them as they shook hands and started talking about the large Star Wars poster on Andy’s wall; nerds. He didn’t notice Pete coming over from wherever he had been, until he wrapped his arms tightly around Patrick’s middle and nuzzled into his neck. Patrick squeaked in surprise but quickly relaxed and leaned back against the taller man.

“Hey. Did you miss me that much?”

He felt Pete nod against his shoulder and neck.

He laughed softly and wriggled out of Pete’s arms to actually see him.

They locked eyes for a few seconds before Pete became distracted by the conversation happening on the other side of the room.

“Gays in space, man” He interrupted “they were fucking in love.”

“Dude,” Andy argued “not everything is gay.”

Patrick smiled and sat down on the couch to observe this unfold. Joe followed and sat with him.

“Well not _everything_ , but all the good things, and Star Wars is _very_ good.”

“It is, but why do you think that Poe and Finn are gay?”

“Did you see how they looked at each other? That’s how I look at pizza, or Patrick. Or how you look at carrots. That’s the face of true gay love.”

The rest of them all laughed and Joe and Pete joined them on the couch. It had been cramped with three people, but now that they added Joe, it was even worse.

Pete pulled Patrick onto his lap to make more room, which made things slightly more comfortable, especially for Patrick. Pete made a very good chair because he always let Patrick cuddle up to him and lay his head on his chest. It was very comfortable.

Andy seemed to have given up on the argument by now and was more focused on talking to Joe about veganism. Patrick couldn't care less because Pete was tapping out a beat on his hip with long fingers, calloused from years of pressing down on bass strings.

“What do you guys feel like eating? Besides Pete, we all knows he'll just eat Patrick.” Andy said, which made Patrick blush a dark crimson shade.

Pete laughed and moved his hands up to Patrick’s hair, who was now hiding his face in the fabric of Pete’s sweatshirt “hell yeah. Is that a dinner option?”

“Hey,” Joe interjected “don't eat my roommate, I need him to cover rent.”

Patrick wriggled closer to Pete and turned his face away, fingers still curled around Pete’s jacket.

Pete chuckled and Patrick smiled at the way he could feel his chest moving.

“Oh I don't mean it like that, if you catch my drift.”

Patrick jerked away and swatted Pete’s arm “Peter! You're such a…” He gave up on looking for a word, seeing as the other three men looked like they were about to die of laughter.

He huffed his breath and laid his head back down on the older man’s chest, trying hard not to laugh.

“I love you!” Pete chirped cheerfully.

“I hate you.” Patrick mumbled, even though they all know it was a lie.

“You love me. You do.”

“Fine, maybe just a little.”

* * *

Pete pecked his lips quickly although he would have given anything to kick the other two men off and make out with him properly; unfortunately, Patrick was too good a person to agree to that while they were guests in Andy’s home.

 “Seriously, dinner preferences?”

 “Depends on what you're offering,” Pete said.

 “Stir fry work for everyone?”

 Everyone nodded and Andy stood, giving Patrick room to roll of Pete’s lap which left Pete feeling a little saddened.

 “Are you going to stay with Pete again?” Joe asked. Pete had never actually met Joe before in person, but had heard enough about him to feel like he had.

 Patrick looked at both of them quickly, trying to see if either had a preference before speaking “I don't think so. I have class tomorrow so yeah, I'm staying at the dorm.”

 Pete wasn't upset by that, although he would have loved to have Patrick stay.

 “Okay. How's class going anyway?”

 “It's class, so it could be better. But it's music, it could be worse.”

 Pete checked his email quickly “are you in music theory?”

 They both looked at him and Patrick nodded, looking confused.

 “Okay, that was like the only class I liked.” Pete lied. Honestly he was going into that class the next week and was really hoping Patrick would be there, he was in luck.

 “Oh, okay. It’s a little easy for my taste.. No offense!”

 Pete laughed and messed up his hair, causing him to grimace in distaste “it’s fine. I don’t really care.”

 “It’s not that you’re stupid, it’s that the rest of my class is. I swear they they don’t even know what a staccato is.”

 “Yeah, no I get it. I kind of assumed you weren’t calling me an idiot, or at least I hoped so”

* * *

They ate on the couch again and Patrick was pretty sure it was the best food he’d had since moving out from his parents’ house even though it was just stir fry. Patrick found himself, once again, on Pete’s lap. Apparently that was just where he sat now, not that he was complaining because it was pretty comfy and made making out easy, something that Joe and Andy were constantly complaining about.

 It was almost 11 at night when Joe pulled Patrick off his boyfriend’s lap. “We need to _go_ , Patrick. You have class in the morning.”

 “What time is it? Do we have to go yet?” Patrick protested.

 “It’s late so yeah. Don't forget your glasses.” Joe prompted, for once being the responsible one.

Patrick did and kissed Pete’s cheek “bye. Thanks for inviting us, it was great.” He looked up and Andy who was walking back from putting the dishes away “and thank you too, Andy. Everything was amazing.”

 Andy smiled proudly “you guys flatter me too much, thank you. We need to do this again sometime. Goodnight.”

 They all nodded and exchanged goodbyes and goodnights before the two students left to go find a cab back onto campus.

* * *

Pete’s phone rang not long after he left Andy’s to return to his own apartment. The screen read that it was Clyde calling so he actually needed to answer it, much to his displeasure.

 “Dude, it’s almost midnight. What’s wrong now and why can’t it wait until morning?” he said, kicking off his shoes as he talked.

 “Peter,” his manager replied “that doesn’t give you an excuse to be disrespectful. I need to talk to you.”

 Pete put the phone on speaker so he could get ready for bed “then talk.”

 Clyde sighed audibly over the speaker but continued “when are you and Patrick going public?”

 “When he’s ready. He’s closeted so-”

 “Pete, remember that this is to help your reputation.”

 Pete frowned and sat down on his bed once he had stripped down to just boxers to sleep in “you think I’m just doing this, dating Patrick, as a business investment?”

 “Well it sounds bad when you say it like that-”

 “No.” Pete said firmly “I am dating Patrick because I like him; not because you told me to.”

 “He’s really not your type, Peter. I can’t help but wonder if-”

 Pete picked the phone back up “stop saying that.” he said bitterly “I love him, okay? And you don’t get to say what ‘my type’ is just because you’re my manager. I’m sorry if this is _disrespectful_ but I don’t enjoy people accusing me of things they know damn well I’m not doing.”

 Clyde stayed silent for a second and Pete assumed that meant he was surprised “Pete, I… I’m sorry, I didn’t know you really liked him. He seems like a nice kid…”

 Pete knew that getting into a fight with his manager so he didn’t push farther “it’s alright. I’m just tired of people thinking I’m a dick.”

 “I understand. Just please try to make the announcement soon, he could really help you.”

 “It’ll be when he’s ready.” Pete repeated.

 “When will that be?”

 “I don’t know. But I’ll do it as soon as he agrees.”

 “Don’t let me down here, Peter. We both need this.”

 “I know. Now goodnight.” Pete said, trying to not sound as bitter as he was.

“Goodnight, Pete.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm really sorry about last week and now this being so short. I had really bad writer's block until a few days ago so this will just have to do. I hope you like it anyway.
> 
> Please keep leaving comments and kudos because they make me so happy. Love you guys, see you next week!


	20. I Only See You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete has a surprise for Patrick, and they both have an announcement for the world.

Patrick drummed his fingers idly against his desk, counting down the seconds until class officially started and the deafening noise of people yelling to their friends on the other side of the room to stop. There were too many people in the room for him to see what the teacher was doing, not that he cared, but it would have been nice to at least know if he was even there. After a few more agonizing minutes of chaos, his professor’s voice shouted for everyone to stop talking and sit down. 

Oddly enough, there was another person at the front of the classroom. He was leaning back on the desk, with the hood of his black jacket pulled over his face so Patrick couldn’t tell who it was. The mystery man, whoever he was, seemed far more interested in his phone than the class anyway.

“I’ll make this quick because he we have a guest speaker today,” the professor said, gesturing to the man, who didn’t even look up “right, anyway, he’s here to tell you about what it’s like to be in the music industry, and I think you guys might know who he is.”

Whispers filled the room until he stepped back from the podium and left the room, letting the guest speaker take his place. The man pulled his hood back and Patrick finally got to see his face; he recognized the dark eyes, bleached hair, and wide grin immediately: Pete.

“Hey.” he said casually as a couple people yelled, apparently Pete was popular. “So, um, I’m here to say some shit about music. Oh, can I curse? Oh well, I’m cursing.”

People laughed at that but Pete just smiled a little and watched as Pete’s antics unfolded “so anyway,” he continued “who wants to go into music as a career?” most people raised their hands “cool, cool. So I guess you guys should probably listen. I’m supposed to tell you that music is almost impossible and you need to always have a backup plan but that’s boring. I’m Pete Wentz, if you don’t know. I guess I’m pretty popular, people know me at least. I’ve been playing music pretty much my whole life and… yeah, any questions?”

There was a stunned silence for a few seconds before a few brave hands shot up. Each person asked questions about his life, how he got started, what inspired him, et cetera. Patrick zoned out a little, seeing as he did know all of this already, until someone brought up the question of why he was ‘going good.’

“Partially my manager. Things got pretty bad at one point and he was worried that it could kill my career but there’s more than that. I think what really changed was that I met someone. I’m not allowed to say who yet but he’s just amazing and I really, _really_ love him. He’s a really good kid, y’know? Doesn’t drink, never does drugs, doesn’t party; none of that. He really helped me and I’m really thankful for it.” he locked eyes with Patrick for half a second before turning back to the rest of the class “actually, I think it’s about time I see if I can make the stuff between us known to the public because he said we could soon. Let me text him real quick.”

He pulled out his phone and Patrick did the same as discreetly as he could. On the screen as a message that read simply:  **can I?**

Patrick didn’t even hesitate a second before replying: **yes**. After all, the only reason they had waited is Patrick wanted them to be together and, well, the were technically.

He watched the smile spread across Pete’s face and he started doing something different on his phone for a second “okay, go check my twitter or instagram if you want, pretty much anything. I just posted something. Everything is just on ‘petewentz’” Patrick put his head down, hoping no one would know him well enough to recognize him from the picture.

He ignored a few gasps and at least one scream and kept his head down until he felt a hand on his back. He lifted his head and looked into the deep, brown eyes in front of him. “hey. Guess who just came out of the closet?” Pete said with a grin.

Patrick laughed and pushed his face away playfully “shut up.”

For the first time in Patrick’s life, every single eye was on him. It felt weird and foreign, and if Pete wasn’t there he would have panicked.

“Never. Want to come say anything?”

Patrick shook his head “no, no I-I’m okay.” he mumbled, trying to ignore people’s stares.

“Okay, Pattycakes.” he said before kissing Patrick’s cheek and jogging back to the front of the class “so that’s the kind of stuff I have to do every day. The music business isn’t just music; I have to be really careful what I say or do sometime because often times my life is public access. I guess what I hope you all walk away from this with is if you intend to make it in music, don’t do anything stupid because not all of you are going to to have someone as great as Patrick to help you out.”

* * *

Pete caught Patrick’s arm as he was walking out after class. He was the last one leaving so the two of them were left alone in the empty classroom.

“You feel okay?” Pete asked, seeing the way Patrick hadn’t seemed exactly upbeat after the announcement.

“Kind of feel like I’m going to be sick, actually.” he admitted.

“Want to talk?” he sat down in the professor’s office chair and looked up at Patrick worriedly.

Patrick shrugged and sat down on his boyfriend’s lap, curling up defensively.

“Are you not okay with this?”

The younger boy sighed softly but nodded “I want it to be this way, I’m just scared things will change now.”

“Nothing is going to change between us, okay?”

Patrick nodded and rested his head on Pete’s chest for comfort. At that moment, the professor -whom Patrick still didn’t know the name of but was pretty sure started with S- walked back in. He looked at the couple in a perplexed manner for a few seconds before finding it in his best interests to just leave again.

Pete and Patrick both laughed softly. Patrick seemed more comfortable now so Pete nudged him back onto his feet so he could get up “want to go somewhere?”

Patrick got his bag back off the floor “I guess you can come over to my dorm, it’s a lot closer than your place.”

Pete nodded and smiled when he realized that he’d never been inside Patrick’s dorm, only seen the outside once “yeah, that sounds great. I’ve got a few hours to kill so we can do whatever you want.”

* * *

“Sorry for the mess,” Patrick said as he unlocked the door, knowing how much of a disaster the place was currently.

“It's fine. Joe home?”

Patrick shrugged and opened the door to let Pete inside “maybe, depending on if he went to class.”

Pete stepped inside and looked around for a few seconds “nice place.” He turned to the Christmas tree in the living room and grinned “very festive.”

Patrick smiled and sat down on the couch, moving a few discarded jackets to do so “thanks. We just decorated it on the weekend.”

Pete sat next to him “cool, what are your plans for Christmas?”

“Well my parents are coming over-obviously they aren't staying with us- and I'm coming out, I-I guess.”

He hadn't meant for his voice to shake that much but it couldn't be helped. The idea of coming out to someone he knew well scared him to death and it showed. If strangers knew he was bi, he was okay with that; but family was different. Family knew he was biphobic before, and family could reject him.

Pete seemed to notice and put his arm around Patrick, bringing him closer “you'll be fine. They'll be happy for you.”

Of course Patrick knew that was probably true but there was a tiny chance it wouldn't be and that was what scared him “what if it's not though?”

“Then it's their fault for not accepting their beautiful, bisexual son.”

Patrick laughed slightly and leaned against the older man “okay, you're right. I'm just being a pessimist.”

“Nah, everyone thinks that before they come out. You want to see what people are saying about us?”

Patrick nodded out of curiosity, he hoped people didn't hate him for helping to get Pete to a better point in his life.

Pete pulled out his phone and turned a little so Patrick couldn't see before reading out a few lines “this is adorable, I'm so glad he found someone who makes him happy, they're both so hot I'm jealous of both of them.” He glanced up and Patrick and smiled “see? People don't care like they used to. Yeah there are still people who don't get it yet and assholes who won't accept it but most people are happy for us.”

“I'm glad we don't have to hide it. We can do more stuff now?”

Pete nodded “whatever we want. Like nice dinners and stuff.”

“Yeah, that sounds really nice. What are your Christmas plans?”

“Nothing really. Probably hanging out with Andy and his family.”

Patrick hesitated a second, not wanting to be turned down “you can come over here. I could use the moral support.”

Pete smiled “sounds great! Your parents might hate me but whatever.”

“They won't hate you, don't worry.”

“Comforting. Yeah, just pick me up so I can get onto campus without being arrested.”

Patrick laughed and nodded “okay, that would suck. It would be a memorable Christmas though.”

“Yeah, it would. I'd rather just kiss you under mistletoe.”

“Shut up!” Patrick said, blushing faintly “there's no mistletoe here anyway so you can't.”

“Fine,” Pete sighed dramatically “I can still kiss you on Christmas though, right?”

“Yeah, you can. Just after I come out because otherwise that would be hard to explain to my parents.”

Pete chuckled and kissed him “after, got it. Then I’ll kiss you all day because that’s romantic and shit.”

Patrick rolled his eyes “because you’re clearly the king of romance.”

“I am!”

Patrick smiled and rested his head on Pete’s shoulder, which was a very good pillow. He was less nervous about coming out when he thought about Pete being there with him. Pete had been through that same thing before and knew what Patrick was feeling. He still wasn’t completely fine yet but he felt a hell of a lot better.

* * *

Pete stayed for about an hour at Patrick’s before leaving to go back to his own apartment. Patrick had offered to let him stay for dinner but he had an early morning the next day and needed to try to sleep so he would look vaguely alive.

When he was at Patrick’s dorm he had noticed that there were two acoustic guitars; a black one that belonged to Joe and an older darkwood that belonged to Patrick. Although the darkwood seemed to be in fine working condition, the finishing was scratched and the simple designs along the neck were all but gone from use. Patrick could really use a new guitar and Pete could easily get one for fifty dollars. So that was Patrick’s Christmas present and he could cross that off the list of things to overthink that night.

 

He was happy to see that Clyde hadn’t emailed or called him while he was out, meaning he could just take a shower and then go to bed. He turned the water on and stepped into the shower once he was undressed, then let his mind drift.

_ I was scared if I.. I was terrified and would you mind if I talked… sat next to you and heard you… and watched you while you… and watched you smile… _

Oddly enough, Pete had most of his ideas in the shower or in the middle of a sleepless night; maybe it was just the fact that there were no distractions.

_ So many of them but I always see you… so many kids but I always see you… so many kinds but I only see you… and I don’t think you notice me… _

Half the time he could barely even tell what words he was making because his mind was racing so fast so he had to concentrate in order to just remember simple lines.

_ I’ve seen your girlfriend and I think you… and I don’t think she… treats you right… but that’s none of my business, is it?... _

He’d already filled a few journal pages with poems about Patrick and it seemed he would be adding another tonight. It was becoming a habit at this point, but it was a far better fixation than some of his past habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short and I'm really sorry, I didn't have much time this week because of school. I also didn't have time to proof read so sorry if there are typos.
> 
> Keep leaving kudos and comments to let me know if you like this story. Thank you for reading. See you guys next week!


	21. Keep Making Trouble 'Til You Find What You Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick has an on-screen appearance to talk about Pete. Pete learns that Patrick is not good at ice-skating.

Patrick walked into the greenroom or the stage where Pete was having an interview in a few minutes. They had asked for Patrick to be there as well to talk about their relationship and he was insanely nervous. It had been two weeks since they made their relationship public and people hadn’t stopped freaking out yet. He had never been on camera before besides occasional pictures of him and Pete showing up in tabloids, but that was different.

Pete was sitting by a mirror checking his hair for the hundredth time, but he stopped when he heard the door open. “Hey. You feeling okay?”

Patrick nodded and walked over to him, trying to hide that he was freaking out.

“You’ll do fine, I promise.” Pete said, taking his hand and squeezing reassuringly.

“What if I say something stupid though?”

“You won’t, baby. Plus it’s not live so stuff can be cut if you need.”

He sighed and leaned against him, closing his eyes and trying to get lost in Pete’s familiar cologne.

“We’ve got five minutes. Just breathe.”

Patrick did as he said and relaxed, as long as Pete was there he was okay.

* * *

Pete knew Patrick was nervous so he made sure to hold his hand as they walked onto the set. The interviewer smiled warmly from her chair and they took their seats across from her. She waited a second for the pre-recorded applause to die down before she spoke.

“Good evening, Chicago. Welcome back. I’m Lily Dayton and with me is local music superstar Pete Wentz and his boyfriend Patrick Stump.”

Pete smiled at the camera and then back at Lily, who continued “so everyone has been asking about your relationship because it seems to have come out of nowhere and, Patrick, I must say, you really changed him for the best. Can I ask how you too met?”

“It’s actually a pretty funny story,” Pete started and squeezed Patrick’s hand “we were both at a Panic! at the Disco concert and there was the  _ really _ drunk guy. He picked Patrick up and tried to make him crowd surf but he dropped him so Patrick pretty much landed on my feet.”

Patrick laughed and spoke for the first time since he got on camera “it was horrifying. I really hate crowds so being thrown into one really sucked. Pete pretty much carried me out because I really hurt my ankle when I fell and I guess we just connected.”

They locked eyes and smiled in the second before Lily started talking again “Assuming you mean the most recent concert Panic! at the Disco has had here, that means your relationship has only been going on for a little over two months. Do you think the speed you are taking things is good for your relationship?”

“Yeah, actually. We pretty much became best friends so I think that’s why people think we’re moving too fast. We’ve been through some stuff that made us really close and I don’t know what I’d do without him.” Pete replied before leaning over and kissing Patrick’s cheek, making him blush faintly.

“Patrick, is it alright if I ask you something instead of Pete?” 

Patrick nodded “yeah, of course.” he said, sounding far more confident that the beginning of the interview.

“How do you think learning of Pete’s past decisions has affected you?”

“I’ll assume you mean his suicide attempt.” Patrick replied solemnly, squeezing Pete’s hand harder, almost enough to hurt a little but Pete didn't even consider pulling away “well it was a shock to hear but… but I really feel like knowing that brought us closer. He’s been through some hard times but it makes me really happy to see how far he’s come even in the short time I’ve known him”

Patrick let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding once the cameras were shut off. He hadn’t done anything  _ really _ embarrassing but he still felt like he looked stupid. Pete stood up from his chair and shook hands with Lily so Patrick did the same, his hands shaking only slightly, which was a relief.

* * *

 

“You two seem like you have something great, don’t take that for granted.” she said.

“I don’t, trust me.” Pete declared. He looked at Patrick and smiled, his amber eyes sparkling in the bright stage lights.

“It was really great to have both of you. You were great, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. It was great to be here.” Pete replied, saving Patrick from having to talk any more.

“I hope to see you guys again sometime.” she said before going back into her dressing room and leaving the couple alone, apart from the camera crew.

“You did amazing.” Pete assured but Patrick was pretty sure it was just to make him feel better.

“I was so nervous, and I barely talked. I looked like an idiot.”

Pete took Patrick’s hand and led him backstage again “you didn’t seem nervous at all, and you talked almost as much as me. You’re a natural at this stuff.”

“Am I?” He asked, smiling a little.

“Yeah, totally. Everyone loves you.”

He closed the door behind them “anything we need to do before we go back to your place?”

Pete thought for a minute before shaking his head and grabbing his jacket “nope, We’re good.”

Patrick pulled his own coat on “okay. Has the snow started yet?”

“Don’t know. I guess we’ll find out.”

* * *

Patrick pulled his coat tighter around himself to shield from the cold and the snow falling. Pete put his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to provide some more warmth. They didn’t say anything but Pete pulled out his phone. Patrick couldn’t see what he was looking at but he was smiling so it couldn’t be anything bad.

“Guess what, ‘Trick.” He said, squeezing his shoulder.

“What?”

He smiled a little more “Clyde saw the video and he says you did perfect.”

“Really? I thought I was so nervous I-” he stopped talking when Pete pulled away from him. “What’s up?” He asked curiously.

“Patrick, look,” Pete said excitedly and pointed towards Millennium park “we should go ice skating.”

* * *

“Pete! Stop frickin’ pulling!” Patrick yelped as Pete grabbed his hand again. He almost lost his balance again just from the small movement and had to catch himself on the railing.

Pete laughed and watched him try to steady himself on the ice. When he said that he sucked at ice skating, he wasn’t kidding. 

“Stop laughing! I’m trying!”

Pete tried to suppress his laughter and slid over to Patrick, taking his arm again “let me help you before you break for arm or something.”

He huffed his breath in annoyance but let Pete steady him.

“See?” He said, smiling at how Patrick was standing now “accepting help isn’t bad.”

“Whatever, I was fine before.” He mumbled.

Pete raised an eyebrow “were you?”

“I was!”

He grinned and pushed Patrick forward a little, letting go of his arm. Patrick yelped and fell straight back onto his ass. Pete skated over to him and helped him up, trying not to laugh.

“You’re a dick.” He said, taking Pete’s arm again.

“Still thinking you were fine?”

Patrick rolled his eyes “fine. Maybe I needed a little help.”

“What would you do without me?” He teased.

“Live a happy, fulfilling life free from falling over because my ass of a boyfriend keeps pushing me?”

Pete rolled his eyes and kissed Patrick’s cheek “whatever. You love me.”

Patrick pecked Pete’s lips quickly, trying not to lose his balance again “I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late. I forgot my computer at home and I can't post from my phone. I'll try to avoid that happening again.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading and leaving so much great feedback. I love you guys so much and I'm so thankful for having such great readers. I'll see you next week for what will be the last chapter (probably) which is really really emotional for me because this story is one of my favorites. Thank you guys so much for sticking around, love you. See you next week!
> 
> Check out my Ryden fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5808682


	22. I'd Do It All Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete spends Christmas with Patrick and his family.

Patrick parked outside his dorm and looked back at his parents. They didn't seem to find this whole thing as awkward as he did, or at least didn't let on. It was Christmas Day so he decided it wasn't the time to start apologizing for being a dick before, he had enough to worry about as it was.

“So, yeah, this is it. Do you need me to help with anything?” 

He got out and opened the trunk for them so they could bring dinner in. His mother had made dinner because they knew all too well that Patrick was anything but a chef.

“No thank you, honey.” His mother, Patricia, said as she got out of the car and took one of the bags.

His father, David, took the other which left Patrick with only the job of unlocking the door. Joe had already left to visit his own family so the dorm was empty and actually still organized from the huge amount of cleaning the two of them had done the night before. Patrick took the bags from his parents and set them in the kitchen before sitting with them in the living room.

“So, uh, this is it.” He said nervously. It was stupid for him to be so nervous around his own parents but he was. The fact that he had not talked to them for months added with how he was going to tell them he was bisexual in a matter of hours was enough to make anyone nervous.

“It’s so much neater than your old room? Did you get a maid?” Patricia noted, looking around.

Patrick laughed and shook his head “I wish. That’s way over budget. We do have a broom though with is a big step up.”

“So do you do the dishes now or just put them on the counter for your roommate to deal with?” His father asked, referring to one of Patrick’s many old habits.

“No, trust me if I did that they’d never get done. Joe is even less organized than I am.”

“Is that possible?” They all laughed because, knowing how much of a mess teenage Patrick was, it didn’t seem possible.

 

They talked casually for a while before there was a knock on the door “is that Joe?” David asked.

Patrick’s hands were shaking as he got up “um, no, he's visiting family. I k-kind of forgot to mention that I have a friend coming over seeing as his parents aren’t really there for him…”

“We don’t mind at all,” Patricia said “everyone deserves a Christmas.”

Patrick opened the door and was greeted by Pete, a huge box in his arm and a far-too-big santa hat pulled over his ears. “Merry Christmas!” He greeted loudly.

Patrick laughed and hugged him “you nerd, get inside before you freeze.”

Pete trotted in and waved at Patrick’s parents before settling down in the armchair Patrick was previously in “hey. You must be Patrick’s parents. I’m Pete.”

Patrick sat down cross-legged by the tree and helped Pete push the various presents under the branches along with his and his parent’s.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Patricia and this is my husband David. Do you go to school with Patrick?”

“Uh, not exactly,”Pete explained “I used to go to school here a few years ago but I dropped out because I needed to focus more on writing and playing music. I was already signed so I didn’t really need the classes, I guess.”

“How did you two meet then?” David asked curiously.

Patrick explained the story, carefully leaving out the romantic aspects because he was going to procrastinate that as long as he could.    
  


* * *

 

 

Pete sat down in the armchair again after Patricia had served dinner and nudged Patrick’s leg with his foot, giving him a look that he hoped portrayed something along the lines of ‘are you doing this?’

Patrick sighed and nodded before looking up and clearing his throat. “So, uh, I need to be honest with you guys…” His parents both looked at him curiously and Pete took his hand again “so, th-the thing is.. Pete and I a-aren’t just… W-we’re together… Like, dating…” He looked down sheepishly and waited for a response.

“So you’re gay?...” His mother asked.

“Bi, but, y-yeah..” He mumbled.

Pete stayed silent and squeezed Patrick’s hand, trying to calm him a little.

“Well, uh, this is a surprise but..” Pete could feel Patrick tensing as his father talked “but he obviously makes you happy so we’re happy for you.”

Pete watched Patrick perk up at hearing that “really? Yay, great, thank you, I was freaking out because I was a dick about being bi before and honestly I was scared you wouldn’t believe me or something and I didn't even know what to do or say or anything a-”

“Patrick!” Pete cut him off and laughed “breathe.”

Patrick swallowed his next words and looked up at Pete, who smiled reassuringly.

“You good?” He asked.

“I'm good.” The younger boy confirmed, smiling a little.

Patrick’s parents smiled at each other and watched as Patrick kneeled to hug Pete tightly.

“I love you,” Pete whispered.

“I love you too.” He mumbled as he pulled away and sat back down. “Merry Christmas?” He offered nervously to his parents on the couch.

“Merry Christmas, Patrick.”

 

* * *

 

“Patrycakes!” Pete called from the kitchen “come help me with the dishes!”

Patrick apologized to his mother for leaving during her story and trotted into the kitchen where Pete was standing, not a single dish done.

“Pete, are you that incompetent?” He laughed.

Pete shook his head and put his hand in his pocket “no. I need to show you something though.”

Patrick furrowed his eyebrows and moved closer “what?”

“Close your eyes, it's a surprise.”

“Pete, I don't like the sounds of that.”

Pete laughed “dude, I'm not going to put my dick in your mouth or-”

“Language!” David called from the living room, causing Patrick to laugh.

“Yeah, I should have mentioned that, keep those comments to a minimum please.” He giggled.

“Whatever. Close your eyes.”

He rolled his eyes and closed them, opening his mouth a little in case it was food. Instead he was greeted by a pair of lips on his and a tongue in his mouth. The surprise of it wasn’t exactly pleasant and it started out a little too hard but the kiss itself was as wonderful as always. Patrick wrapped his arms around Pete’s shoulders and was surprised to see that he had one arm straight up like he was trying to touch the ceiling. He pulled away and looked up to see Pete dangling a short branch of dark green leaves over their heads.

“Don’t tell me that’s…”

“Mistletoe? Yes. Yes it is.”

Patrick giggled and hugged him “you dork. Put that away.”

“One more kiss?” He pleaded, pulling his best puppy-dog face.

Patrick sighed and stood on his toes to peck his lips before going back into the living room “do the dishes, Peter.”

“Wait, Patrick, babe, help,” he whined “how do I work the dishwasher?”

Patrick sat back down with his parents “load the dishes, put the soap in the hole at the bottom-”

“Kinky,” Pete muttered, almost to soft for him to hear. 

Patrick chose to ignore that comment and continued “and then just close it. Honestly, Pete, this isn't difficult.”

There was a few seconds of commotion and clattering dishes before the sound of the dishwasher started and Pete whooped at his own victory.

“He's interesting, isn't he?” Patricia said, looking for a better word.

That put Patrick on edge “h-he's a good guy just…”

David put his hand on his son’s shoulder “your mother doesn't mean that in a bad way. We like him and we're glad you're happy.”

“Alright, I was kind of worried you wouldn't like him he's…” Pete walked in and ruffled Patrick’s hair as he passed, causing him to grimace “interesting.”

 

* * *

 

Pete was back in the armchair an hour later with Patrick on his lap. Patrick had his eyes closed and his head tucked under Pete’s chin, listening to the story of how he started playing music professionally.

“It took a while but yeah, it was definitely worth it. I perform three times a week, usually, and I'd say I'm pretty well known.” He explained, stroking his hand down Patrick’s side.

“Is that what you want to do, Patrick?” David asked.

Patrick lifted his head, causing Pete to have to tilt his head back a little “um, maybe. I don't really know… I might also go into production or something, I don't know yet.”

“You're just a freshman,” Pete said to Patrick “you've got time.”

Patrick smiled and lowered his head back down, nuzzling Pete’s neck affectionately.

“Should we move on to presents?” Patricia offered.

“Good idea.” Pete replied, nudging Patrick back up.

The first presents they opened were to Pete’s to Patrick’s parents. Patrick had insisted that he didn't have to bring them anything but Pete would have felt bad not getting anything so he got them a gift card to what Patrick had said was their favorite restaurant. That thanked him and then moved on to the next gift, Patrick’s gift to his parents.

Pete was impressed by the simple beauty of the photo album and the effort Patrick had put into putting each photo on just the right place, he also quite enjoyed seeing all the pictures from Patrick’s awkward teenage years. God, that boy was adorable.

Next came Patrick’s gift to Pete. Pete pulled the wrapping back and read the enclosed card.

_ Dear, Pete. _

_ Merry Christmas! I hope you like this because I stressed about it for, like, forever. Seriously, an old lady had to help me so you can thank Ethel for it honestly. Anyway, I love you a lot and stuff. ❤️ _

_ Love, Patrick. _   
  


Pete smiled at Patrick, who had moved back into the floor, before opening the rest of the present. Inside was a simple journal. It was a plain beige color and the only distinctive marking was the picture of the two of them kissing inserted into the plastic flap on the front cover. It was perfect, in Pete’s mind. He flipped through the pages and saw that all the lines were blank except two at the center of the last page:

_ Yours truly, _

_ -Patrick _

He leaned down and hugged the ginger boy, smiling widely “thank you, it's perfect,” he said. Patrick was grinning when Pete pulled away.

“Open yours now.” He said, gesturing to the large box leaning against the wall.

Patrick pulled it over “this is huge, why did you get me, a horse?”

Pete laughed and shrugged “open it and find out.”

Patrick opened the box and gasped audibly. He covered his mouth “Pete, oh my god, you didn't have to…”

Pete smiled “I wanted to. You like it?”

Patrick pulled out the acoustic guitar and ran his fingers over the golden wood carefully “I love it… Thank you so much…” he played over the strings for a few seconds to test out the tune before placing it back in the box tenderly and hugging Pete tightly “I love you so much.”

Pete hugged back and grinned “I love you too, Patrick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! Alright guys, this has been so amazing to write and I hope you've liked reading it too. You can still keep leaving comments and kudos, I'd really love to hear how you liked it. This is a really hard story to end because I've gotten really attached to all the characters and the plot but it does have to end because otherwise I would just write it forever. You can subscribe to my account if you want to read more and get notifications when I write new stuff.
> 
> I'm so grateful for all the support this story has gotten and all of you. I really do love you guys and I can't think you enough. Bye, guys. ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! I'll probably be posting on Saturdays so if you like the story subscribe or bookmark. I'd love to hear some feedback so feel free to leave comments or kudos. See you next week!


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